Cold War (video game)
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit The Beginning
**muthaland has joined the game**
muthaland: i wanna play not wait
*FDR has joined the game*
muthaland: yo comrad3
FDR: fine thx
FDR: fine thx
muthaland has left #coldwar*
*muthaland has joined #worldwar2*
*FDR has left the game (Ping timeout)*
*True m4n has entered the game*
*muthaland has joined #coldwar*
*JosefOfGeorgi@ takes over for player: muthaland*
*True m4n has joined #coldwar*
JosefOfGeorgi@: lol i rox0r i pwn3d DaFuhrer
True m4n: no i did u n00b
Franc3: Ãĉţŭāļłŷ, İ đįď
YouKay: stfu franc3 u nearly lost
YouKay: im with true m4n
True m4n: OK good who else
Franc3: OK OK OK im avec toi
C4nuck: me too
boomerangman: me too but u gotts to sign an anzus treaty with me so if i get attacked u will help me
True m4n: you mean sav3 ur ass?
boomerangman: no dickhead just gimme free shiz and ill be happi
True m4n: whateva heres free tanks nd shit
boomerangman: yay now i can go pwn new zealand! jk jk
YouKay: josef sux0r3d
JosefOfGeorgi@: i dont care bout u YouKay
True m4n: alright punk
*Franc3 has left the game (irc.europa.net irc.usa.com)*
*YouKay has left the game (irc.europa.net irc.usa.com)*
*Vat3rl@nd has left the game (irc.europa.net irc.usa.com)*
*K0RE4 has left the game (irc.asia.org irc.usa.com)*
edit Korean War
JosefOfGeorgi@: damn splits
JosefOfGeorgi@: k0re4 wont survive if rejoins
*Vat3rl@nd has joined the game*
*K0RE4 has joined the game*
*LMAO has entered the game*
*un_dove has joined the game*
*45 damage to K0RE4!*
LMAO: good job comr@de
*76 damage to K0RE4!*
*True m4n is no longer AFK*
True m4n: what did i miss
*irc.asia.org has joined the network*
*K0RE474324 has entered the game*
True m4an: every1, NOW
*52 damage to LMAO!*
*<Full version available here>*
edit The German Question
JosefOfGeorgi@: ok not bad
JosefOfGeorgi@: but ur still l0s3r
*irc.europa.net has joined the network*
*Vat3rl@nd32912 has joined the game*
JosefOfGeorgi@: man im sick of these abbrwhatevers
True m4n: yup me 2
*JosefOfGeorgi@ has left the game (Ping timeout)*
*True m4n has left the game (Connection reset by peer)*
D-D-Day General: wtf happened 2 k0re4
D-D-Day General: tahts better
D-D-Day General: now say i luv u 2 each other
D-D-Day General: i hope theres no other split
*\/137|\|A|\/| has left the game (irc.usa.com irc.indochina.com)*
D-D-Day General: as always ((
*\/137|\|A|\/| has joined the game*
*\/137|\|A|\/|64532 has joined the game*
Franc3: WTF thats my land
Franc3: this game sux
*Franc3 has left the game*
D-D-Day General: thats takin 4ever
*D-D-Day General has left the game (Connection reset by peer)*
edit Cuban crisis
*Batista has joined the game*
*CastoR has joined the game*
*Batista has left the game*
JFK3nny: usa.com lags today :(
maizeman: no its you who lagged
maizeman: while general wasted time on v137s
JFK3nny: ur next sucka
maizeman: now im not an aggressor
JFK3nny: hey how u stole it?
maizeman: what - it?
maizeman: what nukes?
maizeman: ah its a server bug
*U.S. scout uses Reveal Map on CastoR!*
*Items found in possession of CastoR:*
*42x Duke Nukem Caribbean*
JFK3nny: im afraid it isnt
maizeman: damn u imperialist pig
JFK3nny: I'LL KILL YOU
maizeman: NO! I'LL KILL YOU!
People of Earth: We are so fucked.
*maizeman has killed U.S. scout!*
CastoR: didnt even ask me first
*CastoR has left the game*
Randomly Generated Name: ok whatever it takes
Y4nk33_d00dl: d00dz, giv peace t3h chance!
*Randomly Generated Name has left the game (Connection reset by peer)*
*trixter attack misfires!*
*67 damage to CamBodies!*
t3hPeaced00d: d00d taht iz imperialist sux0rz!
trixter: wait im not a crook!!!1!!
FordMotors: bodies deserved that
FordMotors: trixter 15 d4 c00l357
Half-Dead: yeah trixter rox & j00 pwn3d
*FordMotors has left the game (Connection reset by peer)*
Half-Dead: so what now
Half-Dead: r u 2 goin 2 tease USSR?
Half-Dead: nobody likes the cute li'l USSR (
Jimbo: no i wont
Half-Dead: now i can do peacemaking
edit Afghanistan & Iran
*aFGHan has joined the game*
aFGHan: oh mighty half-dead
aFGHan: send some troops to help me maintain peace
Half-Dead: with pleasure
Half-Dead: oops wrong button
*persian_SHAH has entered the game*
persian_SHAH: yo Jimbo wazzup
aYaTULLah: Jimbo is the gre@t SATAN n a los3r!
*aYaTULLah has taken American diplomats hostage!*
Jimbo: u r not gonna get away with this
Jimbo: *WTF* thats not fair
aYaTULLah: LO53R! LOL
*Jimbo has left the game (Connection reset by peer)*
Half-Dead: nice work peer
Half-Dead: so i can do whatever i want
Half-Dead: they wont have time 2 stop me
*Half-Dead has left the game (Ping timeout)*
*aFGHan has respawn*
h0ly_w00d_m@n: yo aFGHan
h0ly_w00d_m@n: take this and kill the soviet h0m0s
aFGHan: thanx infidel
*12 damage to Half-Dead2!*
*Half-Dead2 has left the game (Ping timeout)*
*Half-Dead3 has left the game (Ping timeout)*
h0ly_w00d_m@n: and u wont have time 2 do NEthin, 3mp1r3 0f 3v1l
edit The End
forehead_5t@in: Who, me?
forehead_5t@in: I'm not in a mood to play today.
forehead_5t@in: Wouldn't you mind if I forfeit?
h0ly_w00d_m@n: 90 0n 1053r
h0ly_w00d_m@n: hey! what was i doing? i cant remember...
*h0ly_w00d_m@n has left the game (Connection reset by peer)*
*105 damage to da_Mauer!*
*DaFather has won the game!*
forehead_5t@in: Whata fucka?
Half-Dead4: Shut up, idiot! You've lost!
forehead_5t@in: Shit %(.....
boomerangman: G'day. Whad'dy miss?
h0ly_w00d_m@n: STFU Kanagroos hunt3r
Ryugbyf4n#1: HaHA Oz is such Amerricans wh0r3
boomerangman: STFU yur our wh0r3
Ryugbyf4n#1: wasn't there some kinda war, bro?
*SERVER IS DOWN*
*NEXT GAME: Gulf War I*
*STARTING IN 10 SECONDS...*
edit Putin and the Journalists
*Half-Dead5 has entered the game*
*jurnlists has entered the closet*
*Tex3st1g3r has entered the game*
Tex3st1g3r: me too who was the n00b who sent us back to russia?
jurnlists: idk man
*jurnlists: publishes articles about russian conflict with Cetchnya*
Half-Dead5: OMG n00b wat r u doin?
jurnlists: STHU im bored and i have no penis.
Half-Dead5: o rlly?
Half-Dead5: guess again n00b
jurnlists: OMG U GHAY H0M0 I GET U F3R THIS U N00B
Half-Dead5: whoah man chill there
jurnlists: O RLLY? YOU WONT BE DOIN THIS COMMIE CRP ONCE MY FRIEND LOG
Half-Dead4: dats right forehead
Tex3st1g3r: its like a gathering of old russians :0
JosefOfGeorgi@: yep yep yep u r smarter than i thought u were nub
Tex3st1g3r: WTF IS THIS OMG U R H4X U R DEAD U LEFT THE GAME EARLY GET OUT NOOB U DIDNT EVEN ENTEER THE GAME OMG WAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE GET OUT GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Half-Dead5: and i thought jurnlists needed to chill
JosefOfGeorgi@: ok i think i logged in too early im gettin out bye
*JosefOfGeorgi@ has left the game*
*Half-Dead5 attacks jurnlists 38 damage*
jurnlists: ok ok no more publishing of articles degrading to russia!
Half-Dead5: thats a good n00b
Tex3st1g3r: hey guys can someone explain josef comin in here?
* teh n00bs with t3h POWAH has entered the game*
jurnlists: SYCHE Half-Dead my friend just logged in! joo r so pwnd now
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: Putin stop killing jurnlists!
Half-Dead5: umm how about no?
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: suit urself n00b
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: Tex3st1g3r the jurnlists r being killed!
Tex3st1g3r: Your right we must do some thing!
Half-Dead5(to himself): hmm teh n00bs is tougher than i thought but i have a trick up my sleeve
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: Half-dead5 is killing good reporters!
Tex3st1g3r: ??? i thought u said he was suxx0r???
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: Huh? i thought i said Hald-Dead5 was not good? OMG hes using censorship That SUX He must be pretty ownzer to do that.
Half-Dead5: see event teh n00bs think im good
Tex3st1g3r: i dont know what to think :(
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: Sooooooo He'll censor everything i say as long as it makes people think Half-Dead5 is awsome I might be able to use this to my advantage
Tex3st1g3r: (>.<) I CANT DECIDE!!!!!!
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: IM TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT SO SEXY IT HURTS LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Half-Dead5(too himself): Good thing i censored that hes beginning to sound stupid
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: I ROXXOR AND EVERYTHING IS BEING CRNSORED IM SPEAKIN G IN CAPS YAY!!!!!1111 I LOVE THIS GAME AND I WILL OWNZER I WILL DESTROY LOLOLOLOLO ROFL ROFL ROFL OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!
Half-Dead5(too himself): this guy is pissin me off
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH:WTH?????
*Half-Dead5 Activates his buffs!
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH:they have buffs in this game?oh well what buffs can some old russian guy have?
*Half-Dead5 gains Patriotic Rage!
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH:not bad but he still cant defeat me
*teh n00bs with t3h POWAH lost world support!
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
*teh n00bs with t3h POWAH lost a hope in hell!
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH:I AM FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKED!!
*Half-Dead5 has left the game (server disconnect)
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: phew
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: hey im not being censored anymore!
*jurnlists has left the game (server disconnect)
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: CRAP servers going down!
Tex3st1g3r: OWE NOE!!!!
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: we are the only ones left!
*Tex3st1g3r has left the game (server disconnect)
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH:all alone...
*Server back online
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: alone
JosefOfGeorgi@: not quite
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH:ur bakk!!!!
JosefOfGeorgi@: so it would seem
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: can u help me out?
JosefOfGeorgi@: im afraid that is impossible
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: explain?
JosefOfGeorgi@: you see this game is too important to allow you to jepordize it
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: dude you are really starting to creep me out
JosefOfGeorgi@: the server wants to keep you here
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH:tell the server to fuck off
JosefOfGeorgi@:i would but that would mean my demise
JosefOfGeorgi@: i suggest you talk to the server
JosefOfGeorgi@: the only way out is a final battle with the server
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH: i'll kick its butt
JosefOfGeorgi@: IM FREE
JosefOfGeorgi@: hey teh n00bs i can help out
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH:kk lets own him
Admin 9000:i believe you have underestimated me
JosefOfGeorgi@: this does NOT look good
teh n00bs with t3h POWAH:Wait i have an idea
<code>*Chuckie has been destroyed*
*Debugging:Chuckie takes ãé3ïç$&x damage and is killed - Stack Overflow*
*Finishing Unresponding Procedures, Unstability May Follow*
Admin 9000: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
JosefOfGeorgi@: ha ha u got served commie style
*Admin 9000 has been destroyed
*JosefOfGeorgi@ is now lord and master
*teh n00bs with t3h POWAH has left the game (self disconnect)
SPAMMessage:*Socialism is now the greatest thing ever!
*The game has ennnnnn-Error666*
*Server back online*
*Server back online*
*Server shuts down for maintenance*
*BackServer running Avast Antivirus, checking virus database...*
JosefOfGeorgi@: sheet im busted
*JosefOfGeorgi@ has his name changed to his IP number *
*000.00.0.000:продаже и обмене любых! предметов, связанных с боевыми!!*
*Virus Database Out of Date, files missing or corrupted*
*Downloading and Updating AVG Antivirus*
*000.00.0.000:Только для чтения, все? вопросы по функционированию!!*
*000.00.0.000:любых с боевыми!любых с боевыми!!*
*Restarting firewall...Banning unauthorized users...Notifying internet database...*
*SERVER BACK ONLINE*
*You-S has entered the game*
*DaTruChina has entered the game*
*Thai_Wank has entered the game*
*RV5514r3b0rn3 has entered the game*
*Narutoland has entered the game*
*yurop has replaced nations in the region of europe*
*w3rj3w5_s0waht has is no longer idle*
*D131nf1d31d0g5!! has entered the game*
*Event Triggered:Middle East Bloodshed*
DaTruChina:dis servers 2 small f3r us 2, j00S!
Strz&strpz:yah coz u suk commie
DaTruChina:u suk, adn bak off ima busy
Strz&Strpz:yeh get the goodies redy, almo5t xmas!!!111
DaTruChina:get the C4$H ready t00
Strz&Strpz:dun talk bak bi0tch, i gotta nuk35!
DaTruChina:u dun talk bak, i got lotsa nuks t00!!
yurop:sheeeeeeee-it, wen we just made de game safe
Strz&Strpz:Yo thai, hu r c0013r?me or ur ugly bro china?
Thaiwank:ya j00 r, but dun tell im hes gonna stomp me
DaTruChina:no fa1r ugly b4stard, j00 ken not talk to thaiwank, he doesnt exist
DaTruChina:ur so ded betch
D131nf1d31d0g5!!:f0r da JIHADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!
yurop:fuck im t00 beautiful ta die!
*Game has ended.Next game:Matrix(BETA)*
*SERVER BACK ONLINE*
edit War in georgia
*Strz&Strpz has entered the game*
*Medvedev has entered the game*
Strz&Strpz: So d00d what we do now?
Medvedev: Idk putin left and g@v3 me russia
Strz&Strpz: damn dis shits boring
*George has joined the game*
George: sup gaiz?
Medvedev: I thought I owned u?
George: nop! I is independent after teh soviets broke up. hey You-S ac I join n@t0?
YouKay l1ttle br1ta1n maybe yeh can and maybe yeh can't *plays piccolo*
George I was askin Strz&Strpz but can I join?
l1ttle br1ta1n: Yeeeesssss!
Medvedev FOCK NO YOU CANT JOIN!!!! YOUR A MEMBER OF TEH CIS BITCH!!!!
George: fuck you i can do what i want im free now.
*George sent troops to Abkhazia and South Ossetia*
Medvedev: Oh no you did NOT just do that!!!!
George: recognize, im free now.
Abkhazia: Help us Medvedev!!
South Ossetia YES! help us stop those georgian bitches!
Abkhazia: Don't you want to make George your bitch again?
Medvedev: Georgia its time for sum ass whoopin!!!
George: OW what the fuck you cant do that!
Strz&Strpz: yeah you cant do that!!! thats just...mean!
Medvedev: IMMA NOT DOING IT! IMMA NOT DOING IT! Shut the fuck UP!
George: Ow! stop it this is horrible! this is maddness!
Medvedev: THIS IS RUSSIA!!!!
Medvedev: You like that bitch!?!
Strz&Strpz: STOP! you must sign this treaty and start a cease fire!
Medvedev: Sure ok.
George: LEAVE ME ALONE LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Strz&Strpz: You asshole! we had a fuckin treaty!
Medvedev: i changed my mind.
George: PLEASE! make him stop!!
Strz&Strpz: You leave me no choice but to...ask you to sign... another...treaty.