Cloud City

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Cloud City
Located on: Bespin
Affiliation: Whoever wins at Sabacc

One of the most well known of the floating cities on Bespin is Cloud City. Cloud City is a large city and the center of land and commerce for the planet. Leadership of the city is not determined by popular vote, or violent coups, as some governmental bodies use. Instead, the citizens have come to agree that gambling is one of the best tests to determine eligibility for leadership. Every four years, the previous leader and challengers play a game called Sabacc to decide who is most qualified to run the largest city on the entire planet.

The citizens of the planet find it perfectly acceptable to be lead by any man who is able to get a good hand in a game of chance, likely due to the fact that they are too busy being paid minimum wage to watch robots extract clouds out of the sky.The city is also famous for playing a pivotal role in the galaxy as the location of the only black man to survive the Imperial stalags.

edit Military

The winner of the Sabacc tournament is crowned as unquestionable leader of the entire planet, able to do as he pleases when it comes to the well being of his people. The Bespin Wing Guard protect him from constant drone strikes.

edit History

edit Galactic Civil War

Lando sabacc

Lando being elected Head of State.

At the Year 0 Cloud City held elections for pirate captain, around the time of the Death Star's destruction. Lando Calrissian acquired it from, Watto, a retired slave auctioneer. In a stunning move of luck, prowess, and cheating, Lando drew four aces, and pulled a fifth out his sleeve. Lando thus won ownership of the city and celebrated by sipping on fine Twilek wine from his promenade.

A few years later, Darth Vader visited Calrissian to inform him he was his father. Darth Vader proposed that his people would not bother Lando anymore, as long as Lando would agree to handing over his best friend to a bounty hunter. Lando pulled out a Sabacc deck to deal with the negotiations, whereupon Vader ignited his lightsaber, and cut the deck in half yelling "the ace of spades". A confused Lando agreed to all terms, resulting in some of the city's more troubling times.

edit Enlightenment of Luke Skywalker

According to the holocron mandalas, lord Skywalker had not yet achieved enlightenment studying sutras and yoga with Yoda in his reliquary on Daggobah, and he had to learn how to cease suffering and release attachment atop cloud city. Luke meditated in the carbonite room on the impermanence of his frozen friend Han, before the path of self mortification and non attachment, lead him to cut off his hand. Wondering how he could breath, while hanging from an antenna cable hundreds of thousands of feet above the non existent treeline of a gas giant, in what is now known as the hanging for life mudra, Luke saw through the illusive nature of attachment and let go, achieving Jedi enlightenment and a robot hand.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Cloud City.
Personal tools