HowTo:Drive off a cliff

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[edit] How to drive your car off a cliff

This is quickly becoming a very fashionable sport/persuit, and is spreading quite rapidly over the world. The aim of this fascinating endeavour is to, quite simply, drive your vehicle straight off of a cliff. Many people have been doing this for years, sometimes disguising it as a suicide attempt or acting. People that persist in driving off cliffs and experts at this sport are listed below.

• Arnold Schwarzenegger
• Tom Cruise
• Oscar Wilde
• Indiana Jones
• Mr Bean
• Most other action heros.
• Dick Dastardly.
• O'Doyle.

[edit] Scoring

Some people have developed a system for keeping track of who is ahead in this game. A few points of scoring is as follows:

• Look of the vehicle - Scoring based on Judge's preference.
• Height of cliff - +1 point per 30 metres
• Speed - above 10mph = +1 point per mph. Below 10 = +2 points per mph, +1 point modifier for other scores. (for comedic value)
• Length of run-up - +2 points per metre.
• Amount of revs - +1 point per rev. This does not refer to Reverends, although strapping some to the front of your vehicle will undoubtedly grant you bonus points.
• Narrowly avoiding being mugged by the vehicle's owner - +8 points.
• Amount of Hobos knocked down - +3 points per bum.
• Amount of other shit that goes off the cliff with you - +2 points for every other object heavier than 10 pounds.
• Witty comment shouted at point of 'jump' - Rated by Judge.
• Number of bird/elephant nests hit on the way down - +1 per bird nest, +5 per elephant nest.
• Severity of impact - +10 points per explosion, +5 points for airbags going off 5 mins after crash.
• Survival - +10 points.

Most people who pursue this entralling sport wind up dead. Thus losing 10 points. Even if you do die however, your score is still submitted and added to your gravestone engraving.

[edit] Rules

1. The vehicle does not have to be owned by you, it can be stolen. See: scoring.
2. You can have any type of vehicle, ranging from unicycles and mopeds to cars and tankers. As unicycles and other non-petrol driven vehicles cannot rev, they gain points from comic value.
3. The vehicle must start facing the cliff.
4. The event is started by a hobo with a cap gun, hopefully drunk so he can stagger into your way.

These are all the rules needed to participate. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and Drive Off A Cliff!!