Clannad

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Clannadangels

Otaku dreams.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Clannad (visual novel).
“ Let's have some hot lesbian sex while Tomoya is watching. ”
~ Every Clannad Character

Clannad (クラナド for Japanese and Kuranado for weeabos) is a famous Japanese all-girl band. It is one of the most popular bands in Japan and America today thanks to the TV show based on them. The group is made up of 5 girls with ages ranging from 5 to 25, and all the members have been on drugs one time or another. The group is well known for their super-sad pop songs and really bad violin playing which causes audiences to cry.

edit Members

  • Nagisa Furukawa is a brown-haired bitchy girl that does most of the vocals. Nagisa orders people around is dependent on her fans. She is obsessed with childish things because she never really grew up past 5th grade. Her self confidence is zero and is often known to cry at things no one gives a fuck about. She dies after giving birth to another stupid bitchy child just like her.
  • Kagami Hiiragi Kyou Fujibayashi Lead guitarist/vocalist; She was formerly the student council president of a high school (Since most of the school apperently has an IQ of 5.) Kyou is known for making boxed lunches out of rotten bread in order to get her boyfriend to have 3-way sex with her and Kotomi. Since she never achieves that, however, she owns a sex toy boar named Botan so she could get laid somehow.
  • Kotomi Ichinose The bassist/guitar player. Her violin playing is known to cause meteors to crash onto the Earth because the music is just so goddamn horrible. She often throws the word "bully" around for no real reason. Also in a lesbian relationship with Kyou.
Nagisacry

WAAAA NO

  • Tomoyo Sakagami The second guitarist. Used to be a part of a metal band that eventually kicked her out. Used to be A gang girl that somehow became the president of the student council, she is known for beating the asses of everyone in the school. She transferred to that school so she could save some sakura trees. Also rumored to be pedobear. It is revealed later that she became a prostitute and got shot soon after.
  • Fuko Ibuki The ghost member. She plays the triangle and starfish. For some strange reason, she is obsessed with starfish to no end, and everything of hers look like starfish for no real reason. She is rarely seen except as a replacement for Kotomi or Kyou in case one of them gets too high on sex or crack.

edit Characters in the TV show that no one cared about

  • Tomoya Okazaki is a blue haired retarded moron that becomes the main protagonist in the series. He has no goals in life because he's just too fucking dumb. Tomoya's friends all wish to be raped by him because he's just SO HAAAAWWWTTTT. He is experienced in being an ass, making girls cry and getting punched in the face. After he meets Nagisa he learns how to fuck girls the value of friends and family HURP DERP.
  • Tsukasa Hiiragi Ryou FujibayashiThe dumb sister of Kyou. All she does is stare at Tomoya and act dumb.
  • Yukine Miyazawa A cute 5-year old that runs the gangs in the city.
  • Youhei Sunohara A perverted dumbass that wants to become a toliet.
  • Mei Sunohara Dumb blue-haired sister of Youhei.
  • Ushio Okazaki Tomoya and Nagisa's bitchy daughter who wouldn't take no for an answer. Is also a crybaby like her mother.
  • That weird girl from that weird world A lonely dependent girl living in a world made of nothing. Okay...
  • Robot made from trash...WTF?!!!

edit The TV series

The band's popularity came mostly due to a TV drama show made by the company known as Kyoto Studio, the same company that made the shitty but somehow popular documentary show on Haruhiism. The show stretched for 48 shitty episodes before it ended. US distribution was handled by award winning director Uwe Boll. Paris Hilton provided the voice for Nagisa in the US version while Vin Diesel provided Tomoya's voice.

An antisocial retard known as Tomoya Okazaki meeting random brown-haired girl Nagisa Furukawa, a weakass 4-year old bitchy girl who is repeating her last year of high school because she is too fucking dumb was sick for most of the previous school year. She tried to join the drama club because she only knew how to cry, but found out that the club was disbanded years ago because of the lack of crybabies in the school. Tomoya helps Nagisa in reforming the drama club while fucking meeting a bunch of sad, dying (or dead), nerdy, stupid, smart, bitchy, innocent, strong, weak, dependent and random anime-clitched girls with serious mental problems on the way.

edit See Also

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