From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“The bible is true because the bible said so”
“Circular logic made me commit buggery because of the circular nature upon which buggery is performed”
“I'm hot cos I'm fly, You ain't coz you're not”
“Circular logic is the most important logic of the day because it's easy to make. Is real easy to make, because it's important”
“Circular logic involves proving something with circular logic”
“I never said that!”
“Circular reasoning is not logicaly valid because it isn't”
Circular Logic is the most common form of logic on the planet Earth, as well as on all the other planets including Venus, Mars, and Jupiter, but not Pluto because it's a dwarf planet. Circular logic is perfect and flawless. Because of this perfection, all mathematics and sciences are based on circular logic. The flawless nature of circular logic is clearly demonstrated by the fact that all math and science are based on it. Circular logic is also the second most efficient means of producing energy, falling just short of the Cat-Toast Device. The great thing about circular logic is that it's always great and it always works.
In Circular Logic, Given A and B:
If Fact A proves Fact B Therefore Fact B proves Fact A
The concept of Circular Logic is similar to Boolean Logic in that it is conditional and nearly always results in something vanishing in a poof of logic. However, while Boolean Logic tends to operate as a strange line with awkward left turns, Circular Logic always runs in a circle continuously until either it gets tired or a restraining order is enforced.
Use in Religion
Many religions were founded on the principles of circular logic claiming that if followers didn't believe what they told them, they would be damned to an eternity of suffering. This was backed up by documents which stated their beliefs, which were obviously true because so many people believed in them. When questioned about the hard evidence of their belief system they were directed to the documentation and told that just because they didn't believe, didn't make it untrue.
[Ray Comfort] an outspoken evangelist recently used circular reasoning in a debate to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that hell was real. He stated that regardless of what we believed it wouldn't change the fact that we would have to face God on judgement day. "You say I don't believe in hell. You can't say that. That's like standing in front of an on-coming truck and saying I don't believe in trucks" The truth is that regardless of our beliefs hell exists because we can't change the fact that it exists.
The Inherent Beauty of Circular Logic makes it Inherently Beautiful
Circular logic can be proven by means of itself, and as it is the most valid form of logic its integrity to this day has not been questioned. Despite all its wonders, there has been a lot of speculation over the benefits of the logic and some criticism after many dangers were exposed in a government funded research project that occurred as a result of its occurance.
Circular logic can theoretically be used to generate perpetual motion. If such a mechanism can be created that moves because it is moving and doesn't stop moving because it won't stop moving such a device can be created. Scientists have been working on developing a working prototype, but the maths is so revolutionary that most of the common laws get thrown out the window and things become very unpredictable. In one such experiment a scientist got caught in an infinite loop of logic and is still stuck there to this very day pondering whether if he stopped thinking he would be able to stop thinking. The scientist remains in a stable, but catatonic state. The funding for research into this area was cut after the discovery of the Cat-Toast Device; but circular logic (alongside murphy's law) played a vital part in the theories making this possible.
George (who was visiting Venus at the time) in the year 1696, used circular logic as a method to prove his own existence, since so many people would deny ever knowing him when questioned. He theorized that because the sky was blue whenever he existed, the fact that the sky was blue proved his existence. This conclusion was later challenged by the Venusian philosopher Oprah, who claimed that the sky was never blue on Venus, which proved that George never existed when the sky was never blue. After a moment of thought on the subject, he then vanished in a poof of logic.
If it is possible to make a sentence refer back to itself somehow and prove itself right, then it would be through using circular logic; since this sentence refers to itself somehow and proves itself right, then it is through circular logic.
And it poof of logics itself out of existence.
Other than being the perfect form of logic, you can use circular logic in many practical ways:
- If your car has a flat tire, and your spare was eaten by grues, then you can use circular logic as a tire; however, it is suggested that you drive your car away from the grue if you don't want to be eaten.
- If multiple circular logics are stacked on top of each other, then you could defend a city by confusing your enemies by making their heads implode.
- Circular logic can be used as a weapon in war, mostly in the stage of getting it approved by congress.
- It is an impressive magic trick to separate two intertwined circular logics and then put them inside each other again.
Some people have tried using circular logic as a life boat, but it does not float for most smart people.