User:CandidToaster/Church Of The Holy Rodent
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
You are in a room with a hamster. Perhaps you are visiting a friend, or you're in a waiting room in a clinic, awaiting news of your Faecal Encephalopathy; the details are pointless and trivial, what matters is that you're with the hamster. The curious rodent looks into your eyes, its black pupils staring into your soul. Suddenly, you have a strange feeling, an awareness of something greater than you, something sacred. You look back into the eyes of the frail hamster, and an otherworldly light overwhelms you. The light reaches inside you, until it touches your heart with its glow. Suddenly, you knew: you knew that the hamster was holy. Someone glances at you, uneasy at your obsession with the small rodent, but you ignore him. "So naïve ", you think to yourself, "He is not basking in the glow of the hamster's righteousness". But, as quickly as the euphoric feeling of hamster holiness consumes you, it disappears, leaving you bewildered and confused. The situation and the setting may be different. Maybe you were arrested for attempting to release a Capybara from a zoo, or you were caught having carnal relations with a Chinchilla, but, know this: you are not alone.