Cholo

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A cholo is the most common species of Peruvian with remote origin from the early Incas. Cholos are characterised by trying to imitate foreign cutures without giving up their own, such as the gringo culture, also meaning fucking albino. The largest part of Peru's population is made up of cholos, to the disappointment of some and amusement of others. Most murders and stealing comes from cholos, who when caught put faces of 'chola justa resentida' at no avail because they seem to be the only ones to whom justice is served for their misdeeds. Conversely Blancos can get away with murder and go unpunished or with a slap in the wrist such as the case of the fatal fire in a known Disco Club. Cholo's can be seen in Peru in combis, an evil plot to rule the world using 3 sq. cm cars to fit 65 people, and hearing Your mom's name called every second. However, cholos are also commonly seen in petting zoos.

[edit] Origins of the species

The so-called experts of wikipedia say that cholos were originated when Manco Capac, some random Mexican pimp had sex with another random chola justa, Mama Occio. Manco Capac had such an orgasm that the random cholitos in the punas of Puno thought that they were coming out of a wave. From then, Manco Capac smoke some hot Peruvian crystal meth and conjured a stick that touched the sun and the Inca civilization began. The King of Spain however argues that cholos did not exist but until his beloved Francisco Pizarro decapitated Atahualpa and used his wife and daughter for breeding giving raise to a new dinasty of cholos.

However, how right can those so-called experts be? The truth is that cholos began during the Big Bang, were a communist banged a socialist who previously banged a capitalist and from all that... came a cholo.

[edit] Names

Of People In their effort to become something that they are not, cholos name their 'offspring' cholo-english names. 'Cholas justas' hear some random names in the cholo channels and when they go to the civil registry, they just tell the albino person to call their children 'Yhonni', 'Yessika', 'Burger King', 'MakDonal', 'Huilli', or 'Tekzas.' In recent times some say that cholos have become italian by naming themselves giancarlo, silvana, gianmarco, giovanni, etc however others argue that they prefer the gringo chesumare names like FreeWilly, Washington, Jefferson, Ferguson, William, or John Quispe.

Of Restaurants Okay, cholos are SO cholos that they not only put cholo names to their children, but also to their restaurants, if one suddenly has money. For example, we can see 'Buryer Kin', a cebiche restaurant in the middle of a highway 200km up randomly named after the King of Burgers.

Of... CARS! In their effort to make their combis less crappy, cholos name them. One the streets of Peru a in memory of my father Eustakionero is never missing. A mis keridas hijas Yessika y Yesenia is some sort of affectionate cholo dedicatory to her daughters. Also, the gringo conchatumadre, naming a fucking albino's mom never lacks.

[edit] Jobs

The jobs that cholos have are very poorly paid, such as blowjobs. However, there are some notable cholo jobs that can only be done by cholos... and will always be done by cholos such as president or general.

Presidente also known as "senor presidente" a recent example is "el cholo Toledo" with his gringa Eliane.

General is better than Comandante also descried as Mi General some notorious cholos such as Sanchez Cerro, Andres Avelino caceres, or Velasco Alvarado saw this as a quick way to become Presidente. tongo el cholo mas huachafo and la pituca en ingles

Cobrador de Combi or Communal Crap-Bus Ticket Charger is a job that can only be done by cholos. Who else could scream todo Grau todo Grau, sube sube, al fondo hay sitio, paga pues conchatumadre? Who else could whip another cholo combi driver who belongs to the competition just because they threw a water bottle at them? The real spirit of Peru and the kindness of its people are represented by those who give up their time for this job... NOT!

Wachiman or guardian (o serenazgo)is a job that can only be done by a cholo. Who else could stand rotting in a filthy chair for a 12 hour shift and would end up being fired for accepting the bribe and letting cholo robbers steal Mercedes-Benz's?

Limpiador de baños del estadio Matute or janitor of the most birshitted soccer stadium in the world is just for cholos. Gringos or fucking albinos, as mentioned before, will have their grandmothers killed or broken, as did Borat's retarded brother Bilok with Oxana, his wife... NOT!

Picaronera or Anticuchera or Chichera is a job restricted only to those cholas who have the face of chola justa resentida. It consists in selling fried breast-milk, shaped like irregular ovals, at really cheap prices, in the case of a picaronera, or selling impaled baby cholo boob meat to EXTREMELY low prices. Chicha is a mixture of mammal fluids and birdshit, imported directly from the People's Republic of Arequipa.