Chocolate cake
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Chocolate cake is a kind of rock formation made by bees. It has been sighted in Africa, Germany, Canada and, occasionally, Goldeneye (as a special weapon on the third secret level, Temple Of Bees). 'Chocolate Cake', as it is known, is thought to be the only existing cure for being fat. It is for this reason that fat people can often be seen eating it. Due to its density and chemical complexity, it can take over 10,001 years to be broken down by the digestive system into its key components, chocolate and cake. The potassium from the chocolate is used by the body's Worker Elvis to make soap for the body's dinner, while the dead babies from the cake are declared void and used to make antimatter for the brain.
It has been rumoured that Chocolate Cake is in fact a kind of alien terraforming agent.
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[edit] Construction
Bees rap to each other about their daily lives. While this happens, the cake begins to exist. A less complicated description was developed by renowned bee expert Nikola Tesla, but he then declared it to be "too complicated". The cakes grow in vast fields known as Chocolate Cake fields. Infantry crossing these will suffer damage, and if killed may become a Chocolate Visceroid.
[edit] History
Chocolate cake was discovered in 2252, when Michael Hat travelled back in time to 1301, where he discovered the first known chocolate cake in the Northern Reaches of Baked Alaska. His companion, Little Sergei, reported that the bees were uninterested in their discovery, as they claimed, when asked, to already know about the existence of chocolate cake. Hat himself said that the bees said the same thing to him as they said to Little Sergei, but in a deeper voice.
After this, chocolate cake was indirectly responsible for the birth of the first xbox, after
From 1950-1851, chocolate cake was banned in the Chocolate Cake Ban of 1955-2116.
More recently, chocolate cake was awarded a Nobel Prize for successfully not being fruit cake for over a year.
[edit] Uses in Science
Chocolate cake is interesting to scientists because it emits kappa radiation, which has been found not to exist. Consequently it is used to power many important things like the nuclear hammer, and satan's whistle.
It has also been used to prevent injury from falling horses, to bomb The Moon, and to put the first man on Egypt.
Ancient druids used chocolate cake to cure crooked hair. Traces of fossilised chocolate cake dating from the Druidic Era have been found on the central, high altar mesolith at Stonehenge. This proves that Druids were messy eaters and also probably gay.
[edit] Variants
The second most common cake in the Chocolate Cake family is White Chocolate Cake. When refined, each harvester-load is worth a significant 1400 credits. However, it is also highly explosive. The other kind is the Chocolate Vein Hole, which the Brotherhood of Nod use to make a Chocolate Missile.
Gray chocolate cake is non-flammable, non-explosive, and considered only as a weapon by humanists.
