From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|Parts of this article were originally sporked from the Wikipedia article on Chiromancy.|
Palmistry dates back to the Ancient Egyptians and is therefore one of the oldest branches of psychoanalysis. It is the art of passing judgement on the magnetism (or not) of a person's personality, and inventing past and future lives for the person, by reading the palm and other parts of the person's hand. Various "lines" (e.g., the heart line, the head line, etc.) and "mounts" (bumps) suggest interpretations by their relative sizes, features, and intersections. If you can tell a good story, you can read a palm.
edit The Lines
Although there are a whole bunch of lines, mounts and other features on the hand, there are three main lines that any aspiring palmist or charlatan should be especially aware of:
- the heart line
- the head line
- the life line.
Usually, the more lines a person has, the more susceptible he is and the more the reading costs.
edit Heart Line
The heart line is the top line among the three main lines. It is usually deep and extends from one side of the hand and stops near the middle finger or the index finger.
- This line tells volumes about the success of the person's love-life and their flirtatiousness and promiscuity. As well, it will show how many and what kind of bad marriages and relationships the person is destined to have.
- Some perfumes and scents (such as fish oil if you live in a Nordic country) will dramatically improve the good aspects of this line, as will a more stylish wardrobe.
- Prospective suitors and stalkers pay special attention to this line when analyzing palm-prints discretely obtained from (and unbeknownst to) the suitee.
edit Head Line
The next line down is the head line. This line starts at one end of the palm and ends about at the ring finger on most people.
- This line represents the person's mind, and indicates how intelligent and knowledgeable (or otherwise) the person is.
- Employers pay special attention to this line when analyzing palm-prints discretely obtained from (and unbeknownst to) the prospective employee.
- To avoid getting your palm-print taken, it is best to avoid luncheon interviews and to avoid handshakes.
edit Life Line
Finally, there is the life line, which extends from one end of the palm to the wrist.
- This line represents the person's vitality and vigour.
- You can make this line more favourable by taking fish-oil capsules daily.
- This line will predict the person's date and time of death with almost deadly accuracy.
- At the moment of death, this line disappears. In the final two or three hours before a fatal accident or a rapid onset of a freak medical problem, this line becomes extremely short; thus, it is useful to look at your palm frequently, to make sure that you know when to take special precautions - but make sure that you don't step in front of a moving vehicle while looking at your palm.
edit See Also
- OnlinePalmReadings.com for free online palm readings
|Divinatory Arts and Artists|
|Antropomorphing | Astrology | Augury | Ball gazing | Clairvoyance | Dice | Fortune cookies | Ghostly Seers | Magic 8-Ball | Monopoly | Necromancy | Negromancy | Nostradamus | Numerology | Palmistry | Phrenology | Precognition | Prophecy | Psychic | Scatomancy | Tarot | Telepathy | Wiccans|