Cher

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Cher1

Cher circa 1350 BC

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Cher.

Al-Ra-Icherankhamun XXVII or simply known as "Cher" is an ancient Deity-singer/mummy and occasional actress most popular for her hit television series "Tut and Cher's variety hour" that was popular around 520 BC.

edit Early Life

Cher's exact date of birth remains a mystery, however many anthropologists believe that she was born sometime during the late Mesozoic period.

edit Rise to Fame

Cher mummy

Cher being discovered by anthropologist Dr. Edward Edison

Cher was discovered in 1922 in one of the great Pyramids of Egypt, specifically Tutankhamun who was her nephew. She was discovered by anthropologist Dr. Edward Edison, whom believed her exact age to be well over ten-thousand.

Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics found within the tombs reveal that Cher was indeed revered as a 'Goddess of Pop' of some sort back in the ancient dynasties of Egypt. Relics discovered that attribute to her status as goddess are a winged orb or "sundisk", an Ankh staff and a solid record player as well as a treasury containing thousands of her platinum records, which were believed to have been listened to by her worshipers during her holiest days of the month.

edit Fanbase

Cher Fan

A typical Cher fan

Cher has an enormous, cult-like following even more prominent than sliced bread or Xbox. While historians debate on how far-reaching her popularity is/was, the Egyptian Goddess of Pop is still worshiped and revered.

edit Singles and Best hits

Cher's first single was released in 544 BC and was called "Rock me Egyptian baby!" It featured back up vocals by the Vestal Virgins and a contribution by then famous Egyptian singer & supermodel Khepri.

Sometime in 900 AD she wrote "Don't stone my heart", which rocked the uptight religious community of the time. In 1765 Cher released a new single in well over 500 years called "All I want to do" that demonstrated her ability to lure and destroy distracted sailors and sea-faring vessels with her siren voice.

Finally, she released "Believe" in 1998, quickly climbing the pop charts to number one and beating out rival singers for best single of the century.

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