Chemtrail

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 17:38, May 3, 2011 by 69.128.61.101 (talk)

Jump to: navigation, search

“Santa and I love to have a cup of tea over the subject of world domination.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Santa Claus

Santa Flag

The flag of The Duchy of the Arctic Circle features the fearsome, all-seeing visage of Santa, and adds to fears of Santa's quest to world domination

Chemtrails are mysterious trails left in the sky, and conspiracy theorists often use it as evidence that Santa is attempting to again take over the world with biological weapons. These floating phenomena are similar to air craft contrails, but normally linger for longer and are arranged in elaborate high-altitude constellations in the sky.

These trails are thought to be left by 3 of Santa's Reindeers, specifically Cupid, Vixen and Comet(disputed).

Chemtrail Theory

Held by many in the Bush administration as one of the most credible threats to humanity, it is thought these trails contain mind control ingredients causing many to purchase vast amounts of gifts and other commercial goods to bestow upon family and friends around December 25th.

It is also considered by scientists that young children are more susceptible to chemtrails than adults, who often rebuff claims that Santa actually exsists.

On ground and at lower altitudes, the products of these Chemtrail's are known as Snow. Extensive studying shows that many who are exposed to snow adopt strange behaviour (known in the medical world as "Festive Spirit"). This condition also propagates the aquistion of gifts at retail stores.

Threat Mitigation

Snowvictim

Attempts to clear snow by governments authorities in Luzerne Avenue, Baltimore, but clearly victims are already affected.

The Bush administration is one of the only governments in the world who are acting to stomp out this warring act. Thankfully, by refusing the sign up to the Kyoto treaty, they have ensured the demise of Polar ice caps, which will evidently reduce greatly the territory of Santa.

Similarly, authorities affected by Snow worldwide employ mechanical snow-ploughs to remove Snow from roads, but, as illustrated by the image on the right, this method is failing.

See also

Personal tools
In other languages
projects