Cheeselen

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This unfit article should be immediately devoured by the much stronger Wisconsin, because Charles Darwin would have wanted it that way.

Cheeselen is a state in The United States of America. It was formed during the Nike Revolution of 2006 when Wisconsin decided to change its name. It was originally just Wisconsin, but on June 15, the northern peninsula of Michigan joined.

[edit] Politics and Geography

Its Capital was originally Madison, but 5 days later, Fans of the Green Bay Packers realized that their city should be the capital and stormed Madison, burning down every building, and building a 255-foot tall statue of Brett Favre. The next day, they started building a new capital building in Green Bay. When northern Michigan wanted to join, Mike McCarthy, the newly elected governor of Cheeselen, deciding to be nice to their new partner, while at the same time, remembering that Cheeselen didn't have a judicial branch yet, decided to let the judicial capital of Cheeselen be in Marquette. The topography and climate are the exact same as they are in Wisconsin. The lowest tempurature recorded in Cheeselen was -45° and the highest tempurature was 69°.

[edit] Government and Economy

The executive and legislative capital of Cheeselen is Green Bay and the judicial capital is located in Marquette. Its Governor-for-life(-at-least-until-the-Packers-get-a-new-head-coach) is currently Mike McCarthy. Everyone representing Cheeselen in congress are on the Green Bay Packers. Its economy is mostly capitalism, with the exception of the Brett Farve Statue and surrounding area, which are a communistdictatorship. Primary exports include: cheese, beer, cheese, cows, cheese, flour, cheese, milk, cheese, reasons for normal (non-cheese headed) people to hate the Packers, cheese, cheesium, cheese, cheese, and cheese. What do you expect from a place that's so obsessed with cheese? Primary imports include: hatred, the stuff used to make cheese-hats, and supplies to mine the cheesium.

[edit] Major Cities

• Green Bay pop. 400,000
• Milwaukee pop. 350,000
• Eau Claire pop. 61,000
• Area Surrounding Brett Farve Memorial (New Madison) pop. 51,000
• Marquette pop. 32,000
• Brett Farve Memorial pop. 0

[edit] Religion

The most common religion in Cheeselen is Packerism, worshiping the Packers as a god. At least 84% of Cheeselenites are Packerist.

[edit] Evolution of Packerism

In 1919, when the Packers were created, people were crazy about them. By 1924, Packerism had become very common, with 17% of wiscononites being Packerist. The first packerist church opened in 1930. It was so popular, that another one had to be built next door in 1931. When the Packers won the first Super Bowl, the Packerists went wild, resulting in 35 deaths in Wisconsin alone.

[edit] Packerism beliefs

The motto of Packerism is "Jesus was a Packerist, you should be too". Packerism, unlike Christianity, has three Satans: Ronday Motzzs, Dawntay Cowlpippor, and Aydree-unn Pederzohnn.

[edit] Sins and Corresponding Punshments

The greatest sin in Packerism is cheering for the Minnesota Vikings. The punishment for this sin is being slowly tortured to death. The second greatest sin is wearing the colors purple and gold at the same time. If you are found guilty of that, you will be tied up and a crowd of people will gather and throw green and gold footballs filled with lead at you until you die. Other sins include: not watching a Packers game, wearing the color purple, saying something bad about the Packers, and failure to bow towards Green Bay 5 times per day. Committing those sins result in instant death from an unknown source. Another sin is not wearing green or gold during a Packers game. The punishment for this is less severe. You just get a lifetime of prison.

[edit] Brett Farve Memorial

When Madison was burned down, construction on a monument to Brett Farve, who (according to Packerism) is the son of god, immediately began. The statue is exactly 255 feet, 4.4873928 inches tall, ( the Packerists are very precise about it). All Packerists must know everything about the statue, including the construction time down to the last second, which is 1 year, 268 days, 4 hours, 48 minutes, and 14 seconds. It is surrounded by an invisible force-field that disintegrates any thing that touches it and teleports the ashes to a random location over Cheeselen. Brett Farve plans to be buried in a tomb between the force-field and the statue. When he passes away, the force-field will be de-activated just long enough to position him and his tomb. The area around the statue (new Madison) is a dictatorship. Despite that, many people choose to live there anyway because being near the statue makes them feel closer to God.

[edit] Miscellaneous

• Cheeselen is the world’s largest supplier of Cheesium.
• Cheeselen is tied with France for most cheese consumed per capita.
• Cheeselen was voted “most likely to be invaded by Minnesota" and “most likely to be invaded by New Michigan".