From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Little Red Riding Hood was French? They even can't pronounce it!”
Charles Perrault (12 January 1628 – 16 May 1703) was a French author and biographer of the Flemish Pirate Jean Bart.
XVII Disciples and Noodly Inspiration
After having published some mildly received poems and short stories, Perrault was invited to join the XVII Disciples, who were going to hold their First Convention in january 1670. It was the Flemish Pirate Jean Bart who invited him, after having noticed that the writer actually believed the sailor's stories he had been telling him while watching one of Molière's plays. At the Conventions, Perrault received regularly some Noodly Inspiration, which eventually brought him his long awaited fame, culminating in the famous "Tales of Mother Goose". But the inspiration didn't reach far enough: he actually didn't like fairy tales. Obviously, he believed every strange story Jean Bart had told him, but he couldn't stand Little Red Riding Hood nor Sleeping Beauty. That explains why the
Marx Grimm Brothers and Walt Disney had to add a happy ending to Perrault's original stories...
Perrault the Pirate's Biographer
As said, at each Convention, Jean Bart told him wonderful stories. The Flemish Pirate had lots of them, because he used to do his Pirate's job only part time, using the money he earned with it for exploring the globe. His storytelling was so convincing, that Perrault filled at least five books with it, being actually the only person who thought them genuine... Strangely, he didn't believe the sea snake charming stories, which '""threw a cold", as the French saying goes, between the author and the Wench. Anyway, he presented himself as the Pirate's official biographer, hoping to gain some attention from the academic world, and to earn a seat at the prestigious "Académie des Inscriptions et Belles-Lettres".
Works known and unknown
- "The Adventures of Jean Bart"
- "More Adventures of Jean Bart"'
- "Jean Bart Returns"
- "The Revenge of Jean Bart"
- "Jean Bart for Ever"
- "Tales of Mother Goose"
- "Jean Bart for President"
Unhappy and undemocratic ending
In spite of the success of the Mother Goose tales, Perrault didn't like this kind of stories. To preserve his name in the academic world, he had published the tales under the name of one of his sons, and eventually told His Noodliness to back off with his Noodly Inspiration. He decided to write a book all by himself. Perraults last book, "Jean Bart for President" eventually cost him his seat at the "Académie des Inscriptions et Belles-Lettres", and his life. Apparently, King Louis didn't like the idea of democracy at all, and made that clear. No happy ending for France's most popular fairy tales author.
- ↑ The original French edition is titled: "Parallèle des anciens et des modernes en ce qui regarde les arts et les sciences" (1672).
- ↑ Translation of "L'Énéïde burlesque" (1673).
- ↑ English version of "Les murs de Troyes, ou L'origine du burlesque" (1679).
- ↑ "Dialogue de l'amour et de l'amitié" (1685).
- ↑ "Le Miroir, ou la Métamorphose d'Orante" (1691).
- ↑ "Les Contes de ma Mère l'Oye" (1697).
- ↑ "Le Labyrinthe de Versailles" (1703).