Change (as in money)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Barack Obama, or Amero?

Options: a) Stay the hell away from these b) Always carry them with you

“Not me!”
~ 50 Cent on Change

Change is widely regarded as one of the most addictive drugs ever produced by man. These slim circular plates of metal came into use when people finally realized that bank notes could hardly be inserted into classic vending machines (those with the good, actually edible stuff inside), and they had to invent something cheap and easily transportable to exchange for the precious goods inside the plastic container.

edit Change addiction


The old ones are the best.

An addiction to change acts kind of like regular money addiction, but is far more severe, and at least as contagious. It is in fact a post-stadium (occurring ever more commonly) of money addiction which infects most everybody at the "pocket money"-stadium. Only people who've never used or come in contact with any sort money are truly safe from this disease, e.g. Naturalist

Whereas money addiction happens while coming into contact with money, the state of change-addiction occurs not until the implicated medium of exchange leaves out of reach of the subject The infection spread quickly among all people who permanently, or even for a short while find themselves in situations where they lack transferable funds.

Once the subject have lost its money - it's beyond rescue. - money given to the person after the transition will have no effect - the person will keep on asking and begging.

edit Symptoms of the addictive state

  • Cloth decay, dull glances appearing in the face of the infected.
  • Vocabulary reduced to "Change; "please;" "sir/ma'am", and some times "bless you"
  • subjects are always in search of "replenishments", coins already in possession mystically disappears

edit Precautions

  • Under no circumstance give a homeless your spare change - this will attract ever more beggars/homeless/unemployed attorneys from the surroundings.
  • Don't *ever* spend/waste/lose all your cash or other kinds of available funds at once - or you'll become infected by the addiction.
  • Always pick up every coin that you drop on their floor - that rusty nickel might save your life!

Each and everyone around your might at any moment develop a serious state of , even your closest friends. So trust no one. If they even start mentioning the words "need", "borrow", "change" or "temporarily financial decline", take no chances - cap them fools!

edit See also

Personal tools