Cerebral Islamsy

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“Cerebral Islamsy sufferers do not suffer from their mental disability, they enjoy every minute of it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Cerebral Islamsy

Cerebral Islamsy, also known as Allah Cerebral Akbar, and ParkIslam Disease, and Islam-induced brain disorder, and Islamic carcinoma (Latin name: Islamicus Brainwashing syndromus), or simply Islam is an umbrella term encompassing a group of progressive, non-contagious mental conditions that cause different degrees of mental disability. The disease, in especially serious cases, also affects the whole central nervous system. This is when the sick person puts himself into uncontrollable state, dealing with Qu'ran and other objects of his obsession. Cerebral Islamsy usually results from taking some kind of brainwashing entity for a long time.


The brain of a man affected by Allah Cerebral Akbar.

edit Subtypes

Islamic rage boy

A fit of outrage, caused by irreversible changes in cerebral cortex.

  • Shia Cerebral Islamsy
  • Sunni Cerebral Islamsy

edit Signs and symptoms

  • Antisemitism
  • Intolerance of caricatures of their obsession (see who Kurt Westergaard is)
  • Inability to think logically
  • Extreme aggressiveness towards those who expressed even the least doubt about truth of Islamic belief
  • Jihad
  • Affected persons never say "I jerked off" or "I milked the lizard" about the fact that they masturbated, for it is impious to say so, in their view; instead, they stress their state - "I comforted the sufferer"

edit Epidemiology

The disease is transmitted from parent to children by means of teaching the unscientific method, as well as through mullahs' activity. Cerebral Islamsy affects people throughout the Middle East, where the chief object of obsession of sick people is found, Kaaba. Though, there are numerous cases of sick people migration to healthy areas such as Europe.

400px-World Muslim Population Pew Forum

Percentage of affected people by countries, 2009

edit Treatment

Left untreated for several years, the disease causes irreversible changes in cerebral cortex. Sufferers grow angry and impatient towards healthy people. Prognosis is inauspicious. There is no solid opinion among psychiatrist regarding the treatment. Treatment options include indefinite hospitalization in Guantanamo Bay, shock therapy and brain debilitating stimulating drugs. Due to great prevalence of the disease and the lack of specialized extra-legal medical centers outside of Cuba, cure is difficult. Modern science found that morbid religiosity is an epilepsy symptom, so it can be cured through removing the religious center of the brain.

edit List of famous sufferers

Osama Bin Laden

edit See also

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