Celebrity Advice/Answer 6

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Very ancient
I may kind of old these days but at least I haven't lost my smouldering, movie-star looks.

Dear R.W.,


Hmm, it’s never easy, is it? If you were Catholic you could just be creative with the penances you gave to your younger, prettier sinners. Since you seem to be an Anglican there’s unlikely to be much on offer from your congregation unless choirboys or old ladies in hats get you going. Not that being a clergyman is all bad. My character in Hawaii 5 0 went undercover as a priest once and I still fondly remember how easy it was to pull up the vestments and slip one to the make-up girl. Good times! If only I'd been sober....

Not being Catholic, maybe your best bet is following my example and marrying a woman 40 years younger than you. I find I’m getting all the sex my withered husk can handle without having to leave home. Plus, Catherine still finds time to go out and earn enough to keep me in Jack Daniels and Viagra.

Perhaps a trip to South Wales would help? You can barely throw-up round the back of a Swansea nightclub without splashing vomit on the legs of some willing slapper with even lower standards than a California girl!

Happy hunting,


Michael Douglas.

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