No, he did not. Don't worry.

This category obliges those who are worried that when they are out, or asleep, or just meandering or daydreaming, somebody is fucking their mom in the kitchen. All we can testify to here is that there are many people, collectives, and/or animals who did not fuck your mom in the kitchen last night, either singularly or in groups. I know this because she spent the night with me, so I know who fucked her in the kitchen last night - and although there were many who did, believe you in me, word, dog - that list, although lengthly, is not infinite.

I understand that one of your biggest concerns is that either current United States Vice President Joe Biden or aging rocker Rod Stewart may have fucked your mom in the kitchen last night. Let me set your mind at ease. No, they did not.

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