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Fighting games have been used throught the ages not merely as a mastabatory aid but as a training tool for the masses in the noble art of Pub Fighting. Many potential pub fighters have found that they are simply too poorly prepared for the nightly rigors unleashed after 11pm. Extensive research conducted in hopitals on saturday mornings around the world discovered that the majority of those admitted either a) Had never played fighting games, or b) Had played fighting games but were too afraid to replicate what they had learnt on the street.
The Public minister for Safety has this advice.
"When confronted on the street by violent thugs, and posessing of fighting game knowledge, the best thing the normal member of the public can do is attempt to replicate what they see on the screen and put it into real life practice"
So the official message is that fighting games are not only fun but an essential tool ensuring public safety.
The Aged Grandmothers Association added their support. Gladdis, President of AGA said "We have discussed the situation and have decided that we all feel much safer with more young men carrying martial arts weapons and exercising techniques on the street. It is nice to know there are people out there who can take care of us if we get mugged." She added that her group would now all be playing fighting games every Wednesday before choir and have all gone out and bought consoles for their grandchildren. "Its for all our safety." another member proclaimed.
With pressure mounting from the Penis Wound Awareness Council to ban fighting games because of the danger presented by the encouragement to exessive masturbation, it is clear that fighting games have an uncertain future. What is certain is that while not all mastabatory wounds occur through abuse of Video games, all abusers of video games are wankers.
Oscar Wilde and JFK once has a fighting game tournament consisting of Pong, Street Fighter 2: Super Wilde Edition, and Albert Einstein's Happy Daze. Iron Man called winner, then Hulk ripped him in half. After this, he called winner, but because of his lisp, he ended up saying "Barishnakof".