| Catgirls, Hentai and furries, Oh my!|
This page contains catgirls, hentai and/or furries and is not safe for human consumption.
If caught reading this page, roll over and play dead.
All cat girls can speak Japanese; however, while speaking English, their mouths often don't move along right with their voices. In addition, most cat girls (minus they gay ones) have voices that are so. . . unnaturally high pitched. It's probably the helium, but then again, what Japanese broad doesn't have an annoyingly high pitched voice?
Cat girls eat male adventurers. They lure their prey into secluded areas by swishing their tails, purring, giving themselves a completely adorable tongue bath, rubbing against their victim's legs (always whilst purring), and singing the Meow Mix theme song. Once the victim is led away from the party and seduced by the extreme unrivaled cuteness of the cat girl, she doesn't eat them yet; she first uses the victim as a scratching post (possibly does some interesting stuff before that), tears them to kibbles and bits, coughs up a hairball or two, sucks out the victim's liver through a "straw", and orders a pizza. Then she devours her victim and takes a nap.
Here are some types of adventurers that cat girls find particularly tasty. We have also obtained information from a professional cat girlologist what the adventurer classes taste like through careful examination and interviewing of cat girls while dining.
- Ninjas: They're soft, chewy, and seem to stealthily move down your throat of their own volition. They are the natural prey of cat girls in Asian countries. The favorite meal of cat girls. They usually taste of something that has just been drenched in blood and dragon's sweat. This is one of the more dangerous meals for a cat girl to eat, as if cat girl has forgotten to remove the weapons from the ninja before devouring it, the ninja might cut them in half while inside.
- Nazis: the favourite meal of any catgirl, they taste like superiority, with an aftertaste of irony and steel. Nazis hate catgirls for this, because, well. They are nazis, and a nazi's job is to hate any human race or animal that is not related to its own race for the proper price. Adolf Hitler is known to have held a special hate towards cat-girls and for that very reason he wanted to ensure that he didn't taste good. Which is the reason he was the only nazi that never ate nice things, like meat. in the mid 20th century cat-girls were hunted down in german controlled territories by the nazi party, as they were regarded "ünterkatze" and inferior to nazis. but since catgirls have the tendency to hide and disguise themselves, the nazis made a checklist of all possible race-based disguises and tried to eliminate them as an ensurance. Nazis are the main reason that there are very few catgirls left.
- Telemarketers: They taste like almonds. Cat girls often make good use of a telemarketer's horns as toothpicks after their meals. Telemarketers make themselves easy prey for cat girls since they call everyone in the universe while surfing the Internet for pr0n.
- Pizza delivery boys: They're all cheesy, melty, crusty, and good. They're possibly a cat girl's favorite type of adventurer to eat. No one knows for sure if this is their favorite adventurer to eat, but the fact that cat girls always order a pizza before eating adventurers lends much credence to this theory. Cat girls often don't bother to order another pizza before eating a pizza delivery boy unless the first pizza didn't come with anchovies.
- Pirates: Crispy and salty. Pirates often try to take the cat girls to a secluded place on their pirate ship rather than the cat girl leading them to a secluded area. Pirates who escape with just a eye, leg, or hand bitten off don't make the same mistake twice. One pirate in particular was lucky to survive, as a catgirl threw him out, stating "he tasted and stretched like rubber". Sometimes cat girls brought on board a pirate's ship have been known to devour the entire crew and become cat girl pirates. Cat girl pirates are similar to cat pirates.
- Wizards: Ewww...wizards taste like the pizza cat girls order that the pizza restaurants forgot to put anchovies on after they've been sitting in the back of a cat girl's refrigerator for about a year. Especially with all those smelly spell components.
- Fighters: Fighters make a hearty, juicy meal for a cat girl. They often taste like steak and chicken combined into one super chicken steak. Fighters also make good barbecue.
- Thieves and Rogues: Smooth and tasty. They taste similar to coffee junkies who play the bongos at local cafes. They, like ninjas, pirates, and telemarketers, make themselves vulnerable prey to cat girls, thinking they've hooked themselves up with an extremely hawt, but mostly cute, chick. Cat girls have no problem luring these guys into secluded areas.
- Yodellers: Yuck...these guys taste like accordions. These guys will keep yodelling long after being devoured by the cat girl causing explosive diarrhea and projectile vomit for months as the nonstop yodelling drives her lower intestines to constant insanity. Most cat girls learn to leave these guys alone. However, most cat girls forget to leave these guys alone anyways since the feathers worn in a yodeller's hat look like dangly cat toys.
- Noobs: Noobs are like telemarketers, they are everywhere, and they annoy you. The only good thing is they taste like chocolate, so catgirls will fill their heads with caramel and leave them on your doorstep.
- Soldiers: With soldiers we don't mean the antique ones. but the big ones, armed with guns, a jar-shaped helmet and several types of grenades. Soldiers are said to taste like blood, guts and have an aftertaste of sweat and lead. Soldiers are widely regarded as a delicacy for catgirls. But since assault rifles, sub machine guns and sniper rifles in combination with their respective required ammunution have a negative effect on the health of any living and non-living being just like any other object produced by mankind, they are oftenly left alone. An important factor in the process of leaving a soldier be, is that they usually come in groups. Groups with guns have psychical effect on catgirls, scaring them off.
- Cum: It's true, sometimes it is possible for a catgirl to seduce you and, once you have finished, she will happily consume your seed and bounder off. Unfortunately there is only a 1/10000 chance for this, so many have died trying to experience this brilliance, usually ending up with their own semen used as a condiment.
- Sweets: These are rare cats with a STRONG sweet tooth. Not only do they love sweet sugary desserts and bananas and peanut butter, but it's the ONLY thing they can taste. They came off a DIFFERENT evolutionary branch.
- Salesmen: Their taste varies, depending on product sold, from tuna to caviar. These are one of the favorite foods of catgirls. Used car and insurance salesmen are less tasty, and usually have a bad aftertaste, but are much easier to come by.
Cat girl huffingEdit
This question has not yet been fully resolved. Most say that cat girl huffing doesn't work because kitten huffing works only on kittens, not fully mature cats. However, others argue that cat girls are only half fully mature cats, so it might work. However, anyone who attempts cat girl huffing is likely to have their bones found by their adventuring buddies in a big fur ball. Anyone who even comes close to trying cat girl huffing usually ends up getting knocked out by allergies anyways from all the cat dander.
Cat girls in animeEdit
Most cat girls are very misrepresented in anime and manga. Most anime/manga cat girls are the cute little buddies that tag along with the other characters and don't devour the male adventurers in their party. Real cat girls in anime and manga never hesitate to look disgustingly cute in front of every male anime character and devour them in a secluded area shortly afterward. However they are very much in love with the otaku class geek as they are masochist.
Cat girl persecutionEdit
Today cat girls are often persecuted for their dietary habits and they face endangerment due to decreasing numbers of forests, adventurers, dungeons to hide in, kamikaze snowmen, and pirates. Most cat girls today hide in anime DVDs, in manga books, in outer space, in the livers of the mooses who rule under the dictatorship of Antarctica, at sci-fi or anime conventions, at Star Trek conventions, at Star Wars conventions, at star-shaped fork conventions, at stamp collecting conventions, at any other kind of convention, on the Internet, in the bodies of lawyers, in the bodies of highschool girls, in the bodies of Chick-Fil-A cow costume wearers, in the bodies of college football quarterbacks, in the bodies of nerds who pretend to be adventurers by rolling dice and casting magic missile at the darkness, at furry conventions, and behind the sofa.
Note: Neko-chan habitatologists and quantum researchers have begun to speculate that cat girls may be found "behind the milk," a realm that exists in a state of quantum unrest. However, since nobody ever looks there, no hard evidence has been found to prove or disprove this. This hypothesis is sometimes referred to as "Schrödinger's Cat Girl".
Cat girls and furriesEdit
Most people don't consider cat girls to be furry despite their definite feline traits and personality. This is probably because cat girls, unlike furries, are more monstrous than animal-like. To make this clear, cat girls, just like every other sexy critter to step foot in a dungeon, just want to eat you now and cough up fur balls later. There's probably a deeper meaning here somewhere; we'll get back to you when we figure it out.
Can cat girls use magic?Edit
Yes, but most don't have the attention span to, since spell component pouches closely resemble the dangly mouse toys with little jingly bells that cat girls play with, most cat girls think their staffs are scratching posts, and they spend too much time in magic academies napping all day. They also tend to get kicked out of magic academies and guilds for seducing all the guys and devouring them.
Most cat girls that use magic get blown up after some time once curiosity takes over and forces them to wonder what happens when you mix the spooky death-looking potion and the glowy green potion together, or when they push the big red button on the random magical item they found lying around.
Are there any male cat girls?Edit
Yes, but most they are for the most part just nerds dressed up as cat girls and are therefore not of the same species. However, they're not exactly considered human either, as being a male cat girl grants these nerds stat boosts similar to those that a cat girl has. They are the half-breeds. One should note that although fake cat guys aren't disgustingly cute like cat girls, they are almost as dangerous. Thankfully, they are fewer in number than InuYashas. Those things will REALLY fuck you up. Many male cat girls are epic level wizards and randomly cast magic missile at the darkness. As well, they know how to go Super Saiyan, are proficient with photon torpedoes, and they can recite quotes from Monty Python and Star Trek endlessly. Cat girls are still probably more dangerous though, since they're just so cute! However the rare and elusive Cat Boy does exist but it takes years and years of training (or boobs) to lure him out of the dark corner he resides in.
If there aren't any real males, how is the population maintained?Edit
Since it's impossible for there to be any real male cat girls, and fake male cat girls not being able to effectively impregnate females, they cannot reproduce. However, the cat girl population, just like the unlimited amount of monsters encountered through random battles, is able to maintain itself. Why? Because there ARE cat boys, although they are very few in number. Through scientific research, divine communication, and random speculation, scientists have discovered that the ratio of males to females in the cat girl population is inversely proportional to the ratio of male to female players in Runescape; that is, 1 male cat girl per 100. Even rarer of a treasure is footage of a consenting cat boy and cat girl copulating. Good luck finding this hentai delicacy though, as the legend says there is only one picture in existence. Because of the scarcity of true cat boys in the cat girl population, they are usually very protective of their males, often setting up side by side with the cat guys, adamantium fortresses complete with photon cannons, at least 5 squads of Protoss carrier ships, every single epic-level trap, a laser forcefield, 12 colossal red dragons, and a ninja midget ("Minja" for short) dressed up as Santa Claus. On top of this, the cat boys themselves compensate for their low numbers with incalculable combat and sexual strength, each males power equaling that of 100 cat girls, and each being able to impregnate just as many without taking a break. All authentic cat boys are level 420 Krav Maga brawlers and many already are, among other things, epic level mages, sith lords, serial killers, drug lords, and probably has a crew of about 20 females with him. Good fuckin luck if you want to try your hand at infiltrating the base!
Cat boys are, for the most part, nearly physically indistinguishable (not counting the penis, of course) from their more common female counterparts and are thus often mistaken for females. This is mainly due to real male cat girls adapting an androgynous appearance over history to protect their less common population of the species from the ever-growing threat of persecution by angry adventurers, lawyers, and møøses. However, anyone with a basic knowledge of the Japanese language can distinguish between the two in that to say the word "I", cat boys and male cat girls alike use the word "boku" and females use the word "watashi". The males can also be distinguished from the females in that male cat girls can pee standing up and use men's restrooms. Because of their feminine appearances, however, many males are persecuted for using the wrong restroom.
Male catgirls are a rare endangered species, and are often hunted by poachers for their fluffy colorful... tails...... It is because of this that some male catgirls have gone into hiding.
Experts know that you'll never hear a female cat girl say "boku" to refer to herself because the Japanese language strictly forbids female cat girls to say the word, and any that do say "boku" will explode immediately in a big puff of explodiness. However, male cat girls are allowed to say "watashi" since it is considered more polite than "boku" to refer to oneself in formal conversation. Why? Because it's just sexist like that.
Hunting behavior differs in males as opposed to the females in that the male cat girls won't try to seduce male prey; cat boys prefer to skip the fluffy wuffy cutesiness part and will go straight for your eyeballs. Of course, if their prey is seduced in mistaking them for a female anyways, they won't let down a free meal.
It is considered racist to say that there are only female cat people. That's right, it's racist.
Can I become a cat girl?Edit
Yes, don't be retarded. But if you can't afford over 9000 potions, you can always pretend! It is possible to become a partial cat humanoid with the same stat bonuses, though. Just do the following:
- Learn at least the basics of Japanese.
- Go to your local costume store and buy cat ears and a cat tail. You may also choose to get furry gloves and shoes and add claws to them later. Wear this costume regularly and preferably in public.
- Stuff a bunch of socks in your shirt. (Any and all poachers and møøses will attack on sight, despite the fact that a single catboy could rip through their ranks. You, however, cannot. Because you suck. They will do anything to eliminate male cat girls to make the cat girl species extinct, for the sole purpose that they couldn't be born a badass catdude that has sex 50 times a day.)
- Develop a taste for sushi and liver.
- Become a wizard and cast magic missile at random intervals for no good reason at all.
- say mew,nya,or nyu excessively after every sentence.
Ladies can't become cat guys, but they can still dress up like cat girls and gain the same stat bonuses.
Other Breeds of Cat girlEdit
100ft Giant Cat Girl RobotEditIf you use nuclear weaponry on a cat girl, they'll turn into a giant robot and suffer no ill effects. Their immunity to radiation's aftereffects is mainly due to the fact that radioactivity is easily seduced by cat girls and is likely to get its head bitten off by one, removing the radiation permanently and making the area safe again. Giant cat girl robots are pretty much just like cat girls, except they have eye lasers, they're made of metal, they're 102ft tall (despite their name saying 100ft), and their claws are armed with rapid-firing photon guns. Other than those minor details, however, 100ft tall giant cat girl robots are exactly the same as ordinary cat girls.
“Yep. it's strong alright.”
100ft giant cat girl robots are common in Tokyo where giant monsters and mechs are abundant and make up 5% of the city's population. However, 100ft giant cat girl robots don't usually get along well with the friendly giant monster civilians, and they have a penchant for getting into fights with them. The Power Rangers theme song plays in the background any time that there is a battle between a 100ft giant cat girl robot and a giant monster. In such a battle, the city in which the battle takes place inevitably gets reduced to rubble, there are tons of explosions, and somehow there are no civilian casualties other than adventurers the cat girl decides to snack on mid-battle. Exactly one day after a fight between a 100ft giant cat girl robot and a giant monster, the city will be spontaneously rebuilt as if there was no battle at all.
100ft giant cat girl robots are one of the leading causes of deaths among giants who have taken up adventuring as a hobby. To normal sized adventurers, 100ft giant cat girl robots aren't as dangerous as normal cat girls since their size and mech appearance makes them more badass than cute, but for giants, a 100ft giant cat girl robot is just as cute as a normal cat girl. Thus, giants are easy and filling prey for 100ft giant cat girl robots.
Cat Girl PirateEdit
Sometimes cat girls manage to devour entire crews of pirates and then take over their ship. These cat girls then may decide to become cat girl pirates and go out plundering the seven seas for booty, fighting other pirate ships overseas, and devouring the crews of any other ships they may encounter with their newly acquired ship. Cat girl pirates usually have no idea what they're doing and often become lost due to their inability to use a map and compass. However, when encountered, a cat girl pirate is oftentimes far more dangerous than an ordinary pirate. As far as piracy goes, cat girls go overboard with it and try way too hard to be pirates; it is very common for a cat girl pirate to blast cannons and lasers (all pirates have lasers) at everything in sight regardless of whether it is another pirate ship or just a large floating piece of debris left over from a rival ship she already plundered. No sea-worthy pirate would dare try to attack an cat girl pirate's ship, especially since cat girl pirates are so cute, soft, and fluffy. Even the pirates who know not to try to attack a cat girl pirate usually don't last long if they encounter one. While the unfortunate pirates are gawking over and running away from the cuteness of the cat girl, their ship is already getting blasted to splinters. Cat girls don't usually get a lot of treasure from raiding other vessels because of this.
Although cat girl pirates are usually horrible at acquiring treasure from other vessels at sea, they have no trouble at all in plundering seaside villages and towns. The citizens of these ports are so awed by the cuteness of the cat girl in full pirate regalia that they hand out treasure to the cat girl like candy on Halloween. Most villagers aren't adventurers and have no need to fear about the cat girl eating them. Cat girl pirates are mainly there for the treasure anyways. However, if the cat girl picks up a boyfriend or two whilst plundering, a little snack is always nice.
Siamese Cat Girl(s)Edit
Siamese cat girls are always twins. Sometimes they can be Siamese twins, but this is rare. Siamese cat girls tend to be more mischievous than normal cat girls and are known for cleverly placing large bowls of spicy tapioca pudding so that somebody WILL fall face first into it. Siamese cat girls know how to meditate and can float more than two feet above the ground and shoot kamehamehas out of their hands without having to charge up to go Super Saiyan over a period of 5 episodes. Despite their ability to float and shoot kamehamehas, Siamese cat girls can't go Super Saiyan. Thankfully, cat girls are only Siamese if you please. But then again, they can be Siamese if you don't please.
Space Pirate Amazon Ninja CatgirlsEdit
Space Pirate Amazon Ninja Catgirls or SPANCs are the most dangerous sexy fighting force known to man. Capible of making an entire planet shout "But... wha... huh... but!" in utter confusion, these deadly fighting ladies will then steal everything nailed down and throw everything not nailed down back.
If you ever encounter a cat girl, do the following:Edit
- Throw a bucket of water at her. Cat girls aren't as adorable when they're wet with all their hair sticking out all funny. However, be warned that wet cat girls, like wet cats, smell terrible.
- Cod, any kind of Cod will do, like a Cod4 or a Codwaw. All you need to do is throw a Cod somewhere then they will eat it. Trust me I fall for that trick all the time =^.^= (However if they eat a copy of CoD it will cause her to vomit and the inevitable ruining of your Nice, Clean, Carpet
- Use a hairdryer on her. It'll make her hair stick out all poofy causing her to float 2 feet off the ground.
- Step on her tail. She'll make a funny yelping noise and run away.
- Take allergy medication.
- Feed your buddy who's dressed in a mouse suit to her while you run away.
- Use your pants. Pants have a variety of uses, including: clothing, flotation device, hair dryer, pocket-sized sandwich dispenser, long range explosive projectile, +5 battle axe, portable helicopter, bunny factory, and much more!
- In a pinch, towels can also serve the same purposes as pants.
- If you're a guy, cosplay as a hot female anime character. This will probably humiliate you immensely and you'll still fall victim to the cuteness of the cat girl, but at least she won't eat you, having mistaken you for a female adventurer rather than a yummy male adventurer.
- If you're a girl, hit on her. Cat girls hate lesbians and will become very confused and disturbed by your antics. Unless the cat girl is Canadian, then you're fucked (literally).
- If you can, summon some kind of tentacle monster and then GTFO. As a cat girl is essentially an even cuter version of the magical girl, the tentacle monster should keep her busy for quite a while. Strangely, some varieties of cat girl and even some catboys are known to enjoy this. Even if they do, they'll more than lose interest in you. After all, tentacles are a delicacy in Japan and smell of tasty fish. What? You thought this wasn't about food?
- Use hunting/fighting tactics discussed in the Zombie Survival Guide.
- When in doubt, chainsaws out.
- Use the big gun! And, by big gun I mean the big gun. A big, big gun.
- Whatever you do, DO NOT pet the cat girl. Your hand will likely be eaten, especially if you have sweet blood.
- CATNIP: This causes the cat girl to commence immediate orgasm, and giving you time to get the hell out.
- Meow Mix that food fules ther hornyness enough time for you to excape.
- summon a foxgirl they usully hate nekos and will eat them before they eat you so gtfo before she does.
- Finally, just always remember that these tactics are effective only against catgirls. If you ever see a catboy, then you're just straight fucked. both figuratively and literally speaking.
Natural Enemies of Cat GirlsEdit
- Taliban,because catgirls are fucking HERESY and were not mentioned in the Koran.
- Nazis, Nazis still hold hate towards catgirls, furthermore they are usually equipped with guns, but since the year 2000 they felt sympathetic and let a cat dude join their party, you can find him on ultimate hellsing.
- Jackie Chan, more affective then the leading brand shown above.
- Michael Phelps, nuff said, he's a water demon powered by weed.
- R. Lee Ermey, nuff said, not looking foward to 2 million push-ups today.
- God, everyone knows that cat girls are satan-spawn, and god can banish them to place they belong.
- There are a rare few people immune to the cuteness of the cat girl. Generally, these people are found in stuffy institutions such as law (not the kind like Phoenix Wright or Judge Judy, the boring one) and education (only once the students and poor salary drain their souls and crush their hopes into a singularity). Another, less mind-numbingly boring category (marginally) involves those who bring discussions of realistic physics into unrealistic settings, such as a zombie survival simulation. As an added defense, this has been known to provoke God, in a fit of pure boredom-alleviating sanity, to strike up to five cat girls dead per argument.
- Vikings are ALWAYS immune to cat girls (with a few exceptions), due to the fact that their terrifying aura overpowers the cuteness. Sometimes, though, some dickweed will come by, "identifying" as a Viking.
- Ninjas, Their pure awesomeness gives them invisablilty to the cuteness. For this same reason the cat girls hunt ninjas to no end. That and it is true about the soft and chewiness of ninjas. The deciding factor of cat girl vs. ninja battles are whether which ones detects the other first. If the ninja detects the cat girl, he will siftly kill her with a suriken to the head, skin her and wear her head as a disguise for futher killing. If the cat girl were to sense the ninja, she would decend upon him, quickly devour him, use his sword to pick her teeth, and curl into a ball to await the next victim.
- Scorpion should be used as a weapon of last resort, and only if you TRULY want to kill the catgirl instead of just driving it away. Upon being summoned, Scorpion will challenge the catgirl to Mortal Kombat. Whether the catgirl accepts or tries to run away doesn't matter; Scorpion will immediatly shoot out his rope-spear, drag the catgirl in, and uppercut off their head. Beware, there's a chance he may turn against you as well for summoning him. Either that, or he'll just give you an autograph 'cause he's such a cool guy. Maybe not.
- Deadpool, though part kitten, is also half-grue, the Catgirl's natural enemy. Deadpool is always happy to kill Catgirls, and might even decide not to kill you afterwards as a way of showing his appreciation. However, he may want to show you some of his celebrity impressions, so it might not be worth summoning him.
- Curiosity endangers the population by making cat girls blow themselves up. If a cat girl encounters a big red button, she must make a successful will save or be forced by curiosity to push the button. This is perhaps the most common cause of cat girl deaths.
- This Guy. since catgirls is a improved verison of the kitten due to their abnormal cuteness, he´ll huff the living cuteness out of them.
- Moose and cat girls don't get along very well and often fight over territory. Such disputes often involve both parties charging up over the period of several 30-minute episodes until they finally reach Super Saiyan 50 million or something. Eventually they both just get tired from going all Super Saiyan and settle the fight over a drinking contest.
- Like most other monsters, a Grue can kill cat girls. If you encounter a cat girl, you may choose to unleash a Grue on them. However, a Grue will most likely kill you as well, making this a bad idea.
- Hole-Spikers, a subspecies of Mosque, are considered to be natural predators of cat girls, both in the sexual and actual sense, and will violently attack any cat girl on sight. Sadly, most cat girls die because of this and feel no pleasure whatsoever when this occurs.
- Transformers can kill catgirls, as they are robotic and are immune to cuteness. However, they can be killed by cat girls and used as scratching posts. Ironhide, Ratchet, and that truck guy had an encounter with a cat girl, and barely escaped. But Powerglide didn't. But that's OK, 'cos nobody liked him anyways.
- Power Rangers are extremely dangerous to cat girls, due to the fact that they change their powers every two months, thus making them nigh invulnerable. Power Rangers, if eaten by cat girls, will cause the cat girls to flip out and get involved in various questionable acts, such as the consumption of Azumanga Daioh.
- Pie can kill a cat girl in seconds. For some strange reason, when a cat girl ever sees anything that looks like pie, it will pass out or die. Probably because they have seen red buttons that they wanted to push but were prevented from doing so.
- That guy with a machete who wears a hockey mask He just tries to be friends with people, and they always die. Same goes for cat girls too.
- That guy with a scarred face who has a clawed glove Sweet dreams, little pussycat!
- Billy Dee Williams No one can resist Billy Dee Williams. Works every time.
Cat Girl Disease (Nekoethonia)Edit
A little known secret is that if one is to survive a Cat girl attack, they become cat girls themselves, whether they are male or female. Once transformed in to a catgirl/boy she/he will have a sudden impulse to play with yarn and eat her cods; these may include World of War Modern Warfare 3. As a cat girl/boy she may experience sharper reflexes and perfect balance. It is also known that the victim of a catgirl attack will not only be a higher percentage of furry than the catgirl who infected the new catgirl, but entail (bad pun) greater bloodlust, greater craving for human flesh. The original catgirl therefore looks almost human, while the first generation catgirls were the first to have tails (much to the envious chagrin of the original catgirl - I mean, what's the good of being a catgirl if you're not even going to get a tail out of the deal). By the time you get down to the fifth and sixth generation catgirls, they are even more furry than Michael Jackson's love child with Bubbles the chimp, and the tenth to twelfth generation catgirls are almost as furry as Robin Williams and need to eat the equivalent of 1 kDD per year (kilo-Danny-Devitos). What's more, as catgirls never get older, they only get more and more disgustingly cute as the years go by, the number of Danny Devitos you would need to feed 1000 such catgirls for 1000 years could form a human chain that would go from the Earth to the moon and back again. That's one BILLION Danny Devitos! Oh, the horror, my soul, it screams in terror at the prospect, it screams for vengeance! And Robin Williams, he is a hairy, hairy man. If you can't tell if your girl friend is a cat girl, text her and see if she replys with "I am kitteh =^.^=" then it's up to you what you want to do next.
Cat girls' make-upEdit
Cat girls have ears, whiskers, tails, and paws of a cat, sweet taste buds of a cow (Over 9000 buds), and everything else of a human.
Cat girls in historyEdit
- In AD 1337, Caturday became an official holiday celebrated by cats, cat girls, computer nerds, spammers and kittens alike!
- In AD 1162, German Prof. Blah Blahson, along with a team of cat girls invented the anime convention. Thankfully Prof. Blah Blahson was a stickman(which is a type of monster rather than an adventurer) so they didn't eat them. However, the convention itself was pretty much a huge failure since the cat girls ate all the adventurers that came there(except the ones cosplaying as cat girls or hot female anime characters).
- In 500 B.C. an ancient tribe of cat girls defeated the mooses at the Battle of Sashimi Salad, and learned thus pillaged from them the secret recipe of making sticky rice and how to make a pirate ship entirely out of sushi. Using their new ship, they sailed off the coast of Bobland ( a small country off the coast of Mongolia) and discovered what is today Japan.
- During The Great Fur War a Vicious Male Cat girl hired by NSAMA to assassinate the Yiffs’ leader, Robin Williams.
- On the Isle of Man, the native cat girl species have short, stubby tails. This is becaue the locals are a bunch of barbarian scientologists who shoot off the ends of their tails on sight. To explain further, Tom Cruise is in fact the reincarnation of Tom the cat (of Tom and Jerry fame) who wishes to seek revenge on his fellow cat kind for abandoning him in his numerous times of need, when being outsmarted by a pesky mouse.
See also Edit
- ↑ Munchkin d20 Monster Manual