Carry On Films

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 09:24, September 21, 2007 by Mhaille (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search
Good Small Nominated Article
This article has been nominated for highlighting on the front page—you can vote for it or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH. Please see this article's entry.
KennethWilliams

Oooooooooohhhmmmmaatron!!

“I was offered Kenneth William's part, but I had to decline as I felt it beneath me.”
~ Noel Coward on Carry On Carrying On

The Carry On Films were a long-running series of British high brow period drama films, running from the mid 1950s to the early 1990s. With a number of leading lights of the English theatre including Kenneth Williams, Sid James and Richard Burton, the Carry On series is still viewed as the creme de la creme of the British film industry winning in total 17 Oscars.

The expression "Carry On Film" has made its way into common parlance, to denote a particular genre of film rather than the actual production company or series. The heyday of this genre was the 1960s and 1970s. A typical "Carry On Film" would be a period piece set in the early 20th century, usually in Edwardian England, featuring lavish sets and top British actors portraying genteel characters who suffer from disillusion and tragic entanglements.

Carry On Series

Ohmatron1

Yeeesh?

  • Carry On Brokeback Mountain: (1965) Kenneth Williams and Charles Hawtrey play a pair of cowboys who grow closer as they try and fail to rob the bank in a town ruled by lecherous, loveable sheriff Sid James. A potential intimate moment in their tent is foiled when Williams throws Hawtrey out just as they start to get it on and gives him a vicious write-up in his diary instead.
  • Carry On Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?: (1966) The gang deal with the sensitive subject of race as educated African Percy Botswana (Bernard Bresslaw in blackface) arrives for dinner at the Bloomsbury home of his new girlfriend's (Barbara Windsor) uptight parents (Kenneth Williams and Joan Simms). Meanwhile, loveable ex-blackshirt Sid Saxon (Sid James) intends to get his hands on one of "our women" before him!
  • Carry On Up The Bunghole: (1968) Its the 19th Century tale of adventurers probing the dark interior of the South American Forests.
  • Carry On Cromwell: (1968) King Charles has been executed and it's a sexual free-for-all in the saucy English Commonwealth as the Lord Erector Oliver Cromwell (Sid James) tries to get it on with a comely wench (Babs Windsor) whilst avoiding the unwanted pious attentions of Puritan vicar Kenneth Williams and his son Richard Cromwell (Charles Hawtrey) who keeps coming into the bedroom at awkward moments. Guest-starring Benny Hill as General George Monck.
  • Carrion: (1971) Perhaps the team's least-successful film, this one was full of jokes so long-dead they were actually in an advanced state of decay.
  • Carry On Cruising: {1972} 1970s English Country life set in the pictureseque parklands of Hampstead Heath. Guest appearance by Peter Wyngarde.
  • Carry On Pretending Barbara Windsor Has Enormous Breasts Even Though She Actually Hasn't: (1972) One of the most popular of the films, but only because proper porn was impossible to get hold of in the UK at the time.
Ohmissus1

I SAY!

  • Carry On Penis: (1974) One of the sauciest in the series as Kenneth Williams plays an 18th century London hardman sent to the countryside to deal with the elusive highwayman (played by Sid James) known as the "Huge Penis" due to his enormous penis. Barbara Windsor gets her tits out.
  • Carry On Laughing At Kenneth Williams Even Though He Was A Twat And Not In The Slightest Bit Funny: (1979) The final film with most of the traditional cast featuring the original writing team of Armitage and Muffler was marred by a script filled with bitter personal attacks on members of the cast. Again.
  • Carry On Up the Rectum: (1980) A spoof of Hospital dramas and yet another botched attempt to make a Carry On Again Nurse. This time, it stars Frankie Howerd the Duck as a stuck-up patient, with Sid James spending half the film fondling the nurses.
  • Carry On Alf Garnett: (1983) Hilarious film rendition taking an in-depth look at cultural attitudes towards "darkies" and "poofters" in the mid seventies with interspersed Thatcherite jibes at the prevailing political attitudes of the time. Warren Mitchell reprises his TV role, with Kenneth Williams as interfering councillor Larry Limpwrist and Derek Griffiths as "'im next door".
  • Carry On Ethnic Cleansing: (1994) Ratko Mladic (Bernard Bresslaw) is a young Captain in the Serbian army who feels like his career has stalled; until an unexpected posting to the village of Srebrenica gives him the opportunity to impress his superiors - and maybe win the love of Serb beauty Anna Buttfuckic (Barbara Windsor) at the same time. But hilarity ensues as he attempts to bury all the bodies before the UN arrive... Also starring Sid James as Slobodan Milosevic, Hattie Jacques as Maja Mingeic and Kenneth Williams as Bill Clinton.

Recuring Cast Members

Sid James

BlackJames

Sid James, playing the wise-cracking character Sydney Koon in the hysterical 1983 Carry On Alf Garnett.

Bouncywikilogo5
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Carry On Films.

Born in South Africa, back before the natives took over, Sid James is famous for the wise-cracking, sly, lecherous cockney characters that he has portrayed throughout his film career. A trained and accomplished pianist, Sid also developed skills as a dancer (jazz, flamenco, ballet) and had excellent language skills. His fellow cast members would often be amazed at the speed in which he could get into character, always with an eye on the finer details.

Amongst his most memorable roles are Sidnius Maximus, the wise-cracking, sly, lecherous cockney Roman Emperor; Sydney Longpike, sly, lecherous, wise-cracking cockney Norman Warlord; and Sidney Wedbetter, a lecherous, wise-cracking, sly, cockney mental patient in Carry On Malpracticing.

Kenneth Williams

Despite many years suffering from trouble with the bum, and an unfortunate flared nostril condition, the young Kenneth Williams managed to overcome his disabilities to establish himself as one of the leading thespians of his generation. In a 1958 London Times review of A Midsummer Nights Dream, Sir John Gielgud described the young Williams' Bottom as "the most memorable I have ever seen".

His Hamlet was considered by his peers to be so well defined that by the early 1960s he had become one of the leading lights of the Royal National Theatre and could regularly be found cavorting with Ralph Richardson and Laurence Olivier at the Old Vic.

Hattie Jacques

Has huge tits.

Personal tools
projects