Care Bear Heroin
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“Been there, done that, bought that T-shirt.”
“Yo man, I got some really good shit right here!”
“In Soviet Russia, heroin injects YOU!”
“I would do a quote for this article, but I'm too high.”
“It was Courtney!”
Care Bear Heroin is a drug closely related to heroin, PCP, LSD, and ecstasy. It is a hallucinogenic psychoactive drug labeled as addictive. But your dealer knows that's not true. That's why he wants you to buy it.
Contents |
[edit] Effects
Upon injecting Care Bear Heroin, one experiences a similar feeling as from an orgasm (but sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better and long-lasting). After the initial high, hallucinations begin and everything tastes like Orange sherbert for 20 days. If you do Heroin, you will experience its personality liberating joys. When someone tells you to be yourself, they are really saying do Heroin because it liberates you from the confines and social conditions ingrained into us by the government; you should do Heroin if you want to be yourself and not just another sheep to the government.
[edit] Bad Effects
None. Unless you die. Or end up in a Tea Party with the Mad Hatter.
[edit] Really Bad Effects
Hallucinations may cause you to think you are on fire or dying in some other painful way. Also, you are almost guaranteed to get a brightly colored furry infection at the injection site, painfully characterized by a rainbow swirled swelling which will sprout fur in the corresponding colors the skin has changed to, soft, cuddly, infection filled, multicolored hairs of narcotic ambivalence. Some additional side effects include sudden death, spontaneous combustion, and an inability to breathe.
[edit] N.O.L.Ca.Be.H.
National Organization for the Legalization of Care Bear Heroin (pronounced Nole' Cabbie) is a grass roots organization founded by Barney (no not the idiot dinosaur) Fife. He found that Care Bear Heroin was the only drug that steadied his trembling hands and began attempts to legalize it for Medical use. Snuggles the fabric softener advertising bear currently donates 10% of his commercial profits and is the spokes critter for NOLCaBeH.
[edit] See Also
 | Mommy's Medicine Cabinet |
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Adderall | Aspirin | Beavers | Caffeine | Care Bear Heroin | Cheerios | Cocaine | Codeine | Coffee | Cracked Corn | Dexedrine | HeadOn | High fructose corn syrup | Kittens | LSD | Medicine | Meth | Mountain Dew | Opium | Poison | Prednisone |Prozac | Ritalin | Roofies | Side effects | The World's Most Powerful Drug | Tylenol | Valium | Viagra |
