Boxes
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“I read the article on boxes. what now except to go crazy and commit suicide”
Boxes. Yes, they are boxes. What, you're actually reading this article: it's about boxes, for goodness sake! What on earth could be more boring than boxes! Grrr! You're STILL reading this article, on the most boring thing ever, ever? What's the point? Have you got no life? No? What is it then? OK, maybe I'll count to 10 and you will be gone, from this boring, boring page about boring old boxes.
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10! What? You're still reading this!?!? Congratulations! You have absoluutely no life, I mean you've just searched for boxes on uncyclopedia. Even you have to admit, it is pretty lame.
Contents |
edit What is a box?
A box has an upside, a bottomside and some sides. "What else?" you ask. Well it's NOTHING BUT THAT!!! Honestly, that's all a box is: A stupid, boxy thing. Nothing else. Go away before you you lose what precious life you have. Why do you even care, they're not animals, they're not even alive! What's wrong with you! Are you mad?
edit Types of box
Who cares? Seen one box , you've seen them, what I say. Oh, you want information, for your no life, nerdy, brain. Ok, there is lots of kinds of boxes then. Plastic boxes. Cardboard Boxes. Metal Boxes. All equally useless and boring.An effort in the 1960's was created to make a "super box". This failed as they tried the squid box, Jesus box, and candy box. The squid box would only stay in box form with another box inside it. The Jesus box was as BORING and UNINTERESTING as the rest. The picture of Jesus on the box was a black guy, so no one saw the point. The candy box brought a lot of interest, until it was empty.
edit Boxes in unpopular culture
A movement started in the 1960's to stop exploiting boxes as boring, boxy things. Trouble is, they soon realised the truth. Boxes are boring, boxy things. What a waste of effort.
During the riots in New York City, 56 hippies gave their lives to defend supposedly interesting aspects of boxes. Anti-boxite protesters overpowered riot police at the rally, slaying the lead hippie and placing his entrails in a biscuit tin for dinner later that night.
A film about boxes seemed like a bad idea at the time. All the critics said it would never work. 'Stupid waste of time', 'bah' and 'boooooooooring'. But, then when the results were in they soon realised...that they were right. The director didn't even get enough money to buy the cardboard box, (the star of the film), from the supermarket. Box the movie was eventually released in the future and became the lowest grossing film ever, beating the paint drying movie.
edit Uses for boxes
Not much but...
- Hours of entertainment for particularly stupid animals, hyper four year-olds and daytime television presenters.
- Put smaller boxes in them.
- Hiding from genetically-enhanced, somehow incompetent soldiers trying to find you.
- For homeless people that run away from home at the age of three (that's 3 for all those people who did not pass their maths GCSE)
edit References
Honestly, do you really want references for such a stupid, boring thing? All you need to do is pick up a box and look at how boring it is. It's nothing special!
If you really want to referencify boxes, try Box.com, Box.co.uk, or type Box into Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle OK, you've just read the whole boring article. Why should I give External Resources? I don't care if you want them, I'm saving you from a boring, boxy future. Now, go away.
This isn't entirely true, as many boxes will be our boring overlords in about 4 years.
Errm, yes it is. Go away.
