Car manufacturers
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[edit] Crapmobile vehicles
- Miserable Old Dead Engines Lack Power
- Mediocre Old Dead Engines Leak Pitifully
[edit] Loyola vehicles
- Lada Owes You (the) Only Left (side of your) Arse
- Lobos y olla (Means "The Wolves and the Bong" in Spanish) Or Lodozal.
- Look Out, Your Ought (to) Look Ahead!
- Looking Our Yen Out Like America (does)
[edit] Chrysler vehicles
Chrysler
- Charged High Retail, You'll Subsidise Lee's Early Retirement
- Company Has Recommended You Should Learn Engine Repair
- Department of Defense Garage Equipment
- Daily Overhauls Do Get Exhausting
- Dead Once Dealer's Guarantee Expires
- Dead On Day Guarantee Expired
- Dead Or Dying Gutless Engines
- Drips Oil Drops Grease Everywhere
- Dykes Or Dads Grasp Enemas
Aries
- Automobiles Rusted In Every Section
Duster
- Darned Underside Seems Totally Eaten, Rusted
- New Engines Often Needed
- Nothing Especially Original Now
'Shadow
- Some Hopeless And Decrepit Old Wreck
- Move over people are racing
Spirit
- Some Pieces Inevitably Ruined In Transmission
- Simply Pitiful, Idiotic Rickshaws In Traffic
Plymouth
- Please Let Your Mom Out (from) Under The Hood
- Follows U Relentlessly, Yikes!
Jeep
- Just Enough Engine Power
- Junk, Each, Every Part
[edit] GM vehicles
Buick
- Big Ugly Import Car Killer
LeSabre
- Lets Everyone See Another Bastard's Rich Expenditure
- Cheap Heap Eats Valves Yearly
- Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
- Crack Hor Eats Vonbitch Ratefuck Out Errection Tittyshittings
GM
- Government Motors
GMC
- Generally Mediocre Crankcase
- Get My Coveralls
- Generic Made Chevy
- Garage Mechanic's Companion
- Gas Mileage's Crappy
- Gandalf's Mother's Car
- Gay Man's Cruiser
- Gay Man's Chevy
- God's Most Chosen
Olds
- Out Looking Dumbass Saabs
Opel
- Old People Ending Lives
- Poor Ol' Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac
- Penis On Naughty Tits In A Car
- Seems Always Totally Unbelievable Repairs Necessary
- Hope Our Luck Doesn't End Now
- Holes, Oil Leaks, Dents and Engine Noise
- Heaps Of Loser Drivers Encouraging Nerdism
Torana
- Tow Old Rubbish Away, Never Argue!
[edit] Ford vehicles
Ford
- Fix Or Repair Daily
- Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
- Found on Road Dead
- Fucked on Race Day
- Flatulent Odors Routinely Discharged
- F'ed Over Rebuilt Dodge (the original Fords had Dodge Brothers' engines)
- in reverse: Driver Returns On Foot
- Fuck Off Richard Daley
- Found On Rubbish Dump
- Fast Only Rolling Downhill
- First Owners Recommended Dodge
- Evidently Someone Can't Obtain Reliable Transportation
- Evil Satan's Cunt Offends Randy Tyrants
Pinto
- Powerful Incendiary Neatly Toasts Occupants
- Politically Incites Nader Take-Over
- Put In Nickel To Operate
- Put In Neutral, Tow Offroad
- Penis In Naughty Troubled Orgy
- Takes Another Urgent Repair, Usually Serious
- Transmissions Are Usually Replaced Unacceptably Soon
Tempo
- Tired Engine May Peter Out
- My Engine's Rubbish, Car's Underbody Rusted, Yuck!
[edit] European vehicles
Audi
- Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
- Addresses Underage Decency Indefinitely
- Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
- Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
- Bring More Worries
- Barely Moving Wreck
- Bavarian Manure Wagon
- Bavarian Muck Works
- Built from Mercedes Wastebin
- Bring Me to Workshop
- Break My Wallet
- Be My Wife
- Bang My Wife
- Big Money Waste
- Big Money Wanker
- Bite My Weenie
- Black Man's Wheels
- Baader-Meinhof Wagon
- Brings Me Women
- Butt Munching Wanker
- Bastard Moving Wrecklessly
- Bite My Winky
- Be My Wang
- Dreadfully Annoying Cars In Action
- ro:«Daca Ai Cap, Ia-tzi Alta», meaning don't even think to buy this so-called car.
- ro:"Faci caca si tragi apa", meaning For those who believe in driving!
Citroen
- Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters
- Found Everywhere Really Rich Annoying Retards Inhabit
Fiat
- Found In A Trashbin
- Flat In All Tyres
- Fehler in Allen Teilen
- For Italians, Adequate Technology
- Fix It Again, Tony
- Failed Italian Attempt (at) Transportation
- Fuck in the Toilet
- Failed Italian Automotive Technology
- Leave At Dump, Abandoned.
Lotus
- Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
- Lame Orgy Tits Under Shit
- "Hey, Nice Ferrari!" - Some American Guy
Mercedes
- Most Expensive Ridiculous Car Ever Driven by European Snobs
Porsche
- Proof Of Rich Spoiled Chavs Having Everything
- Proof Of Rich Spoiled Cunts Having Everything
Renault
- Rebuilt Engine, New Axles, Usually Lousy Transmission
- Retarded Engine No Acceleration Ugly Lump of Trash
Saab
- Sad Attempt At Beauty
- Send Another Automobile Back
- Sorry Auto, Always Broken
- Such An Arrogant Boy
- Still Ain't A Bimmer
- Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
- Swedish Automobiles Always Broken
- Virtually Worthless
- Very Weird
- Venice Whorehouse
- My Isolation Not Incogneto
- My, I'm Nearly Invisible!
- Motherfucking Indecent Nigger INC.
Austin
- A Usable Sucky Tin In Noddyland
- An Utterly Sad Tatty Imperial Nutter
Volvo
- Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Rover
- R-over
[edit] Japanese vehicles
Datsun
- Decrepit And Temperamental, Seems Useless Now
- Drive At Top Speed Until (k)nackered
- Had One, Never Did Again
- Hold On, Not Done Accelerating
- Hey! Oh Nevermind, Done Accelerating
- Hang On, Not Done Again
- Holy Oprah, Nigger Dick Ass
- Hanged Over, Now Driving Away
Accord
- Another Crumpled Car On Road, Dead
- Completely Insipid Village Idiot's Car
- Corrosion In Valves Is Common
- Many Innovations To Suck Unsuspecting Buyers Into Some Hellish Invention
- Might In Theory Seem Usable But Is (a) Simply Hideous Import
- Multiple Impact Tests Show Unprecedented Breakage, Is (a) Simply Horrible Investment
- Bitzamissin
Subaru
- Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium
- Shot Up Bad A-- Racing Unit
- U R A BUS (Backwards)
Suzuki
- Service Usually Zilch Unless Kamikaze Inside
Toyota
- Too Often Yanks Overprice This Automobile
- Taking Our Yen Out, Thanks America!
- Titties On Your Old Thickshit Aunt
- The One You Ought To Avoid
- Tired Overrated Yawnmobiles or Tedious Appliances
[edit] Korean vehicles
Hyundai
- Here's Y U Never Drive An Import
- Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
- Killed In Action
- Kick In Anus
- Kissing in Action
- Killed In Automobile
- Killed In Accident
- Korean Imitation Automobile
- Keep Idiots Away
- Krappy Insane Anus
- Kick It Again
- Koreans Invading America
