EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE!
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Do you have a car? Do you like to drive it? Are you legally obligated to insure said car before being allowed to drive it on roads? Are you paying too much for your car insurance? If you answered "yes" to any, all or none of these questions then you're obviously in need of EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE!
EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE! can offer you car insurance at EVEN CHEAPER rates. Why pay more for car insurance when you can get it CHEAP? The best place to find EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE! is, of course, none other than EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE! That's why we were voted the best EVEN CHEAPER car insurance company of 1989 in the annual EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE! customer satisfaction poll, a poll sponsored by EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE!
At EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE!, we can offer you multicar cover! Single car cover! No car cover! A no claims bonus! A "lots of claims" bonus! And even a free courtesy car probably! Is that not enough? Join up now and get this free pen! Still not enough? Well, it writes underwater, and falsifies claims effortlessly!
Why EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE! is the insurer for you!
Reason one: it's EVEN CHEAPER!
EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE! promises to beat any price you're paying on your car insurance now. Think of any price and we guarantee to beat it. Even if you're paying nothing on your car insurance, we can still go EVEN CHEAPER! Yes, we will actually pay you to insure your car through us. What's in it for us, you ask? Why, the joy of facilitating another vehicle onto the Earth's nightmarishly congested roads of course! That and the ownership of your soul.
Reason two: it's CAR INSURANCE!
EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE! will fully insure your car, providing steadfast protection against any automobile related losses, be it for repair costs or for funding the lawyer who will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were not over the speed limit when you were receiving oral sex while driving under the influence. It is an offense to drive without insurance in the United Kingdom and most US states, and even if you're in Texas it probably isn't worth the risk. Be lawful with EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE!
It couldn't be more simple!
Simply go to EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE's website; EVENCHEAPERCARINSURANCE!.con, then click "search". When the next page loads, click "home", then click "search" one more time. This should bring you to the enormous EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE! logo (you can't miss it!), which you should click five times. Then you just have to follow the simple instructions onscreen to reach our homepage. "Simples!" as our meerkat nemesis would say.
To calculate your quote, all you'll need is your car number. Your car number can be found on the front and back of your car. If you don't see it, make sure you check the inside panel. If you don't know your car number then don't worry, you get 3 guesses before the site locks you out. There can only be so many numbers, right? After this, simply provide your name, address, date of birth, country of origin, sexual preferences, bank details and a recent photo of yourself, and you'll be well on your way to EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE! in no time (having completed the voluntary mandatory customer service quiz, of course).
The best in price comparison services too!
These days there are millions of price comparison websites helping you find the cheapest car insurance. There are so many that it can be hard to find the price comparison website for you, and that's why EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE! offers you a site by site rundown of all the price comparison services out there. Browse our inexhaustive list of all twelve UK comparison companies and read customer reviews written by an impartial board of car insurance experts to make sure you get the best price... Comparison. This way you can see categorical proof that we are both the best company for EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE! and for price comparison.
Our list is compiled by a crack team of nerds, who, with a sprinkle of fuzzy logic and a dash of good old monotonous human labour, have put together one of the most comprehensive databases of price comparison websites in recorded history. They've crawled through pages and pages of mind-numbing information so you don't have to! And all they ask in return is the standard fixed fee, which you can pay to us online via credit or debit card. We conduct NO credit checks! This fixed fee will go towards motivational posters in the office (note: fixed fee may and will be subject to change at any time without notice).
EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE! is now EVEN CHEAPER!
Wait, wait a second, hold the phone; EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE! is now EVEN CHEAPER!. That's EVEN CHEAPER than it already was! Wow! How is it possible that we could get any CHEAPER!? I don't know, but somehow we've managed it. We must be totally insane to give you car insurance this CHEAP! Take advantage of our insanity now! Get EVEN CHEAPER CAR INSURANCE!
So what are you waiting for, Christmas?