Captain Fishcake
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Captain Howard X. Fishcake (born 21st March 1944) is an English nautical captain from Henton Road, in Middle England, who had a short involvement in commercial fishing before going on to write several books on the subject.
He smokes, or has often shown himself with, pipes, and it is widely believed that he is of a dirty, scruffy appearance. This image, which Captain Fishcake obviously designed himself, has gained him worldwide notoriety as the Fisherman. He has appeared in many television shows as himself, and is somewhat of a 'gag character'.
[edit] Birth
Howard Frankie Fishcake was born to parents Ednor and Brucie Fishcake, on the 21st March, 1944. "T'was a stormy winter's night," Howards' father Brucie Fishcake recounts, "and I remember it well. We, me an' Ednor, were out sailin', you see, and suddenly the wind picked up and the sea became awful choppy. So I says that we should take refuge in yonder lighthouse, and that we did. It was there that Howard was conceived, and born."
The lighthouse in question was Cod Hill Lighthouse, just south of Braunstone Village, England. The lighthouse has now had a commemorative plaque installed.
[edit] Early Life
Captain Fishcake grew up in and around Henton Road, England. As he grew older, his parents noticed he had a strong interest in boats, fishing, and general nautical stuff. They knew their son was going to grow up inot a loser. In 1957, the proud parents bought Howard his first boat, Polish Wyfe. Their countless efforts to stop his obsession were unsucessful
He immediately bought a fishing rod and went out into the soar to fish. He returned fishless, but that did not deter him. After three years and countless fishing expeditions, Captain Fishcake finally came to the conclusion that there were no fish in the soar. He did however find a pair of new shoes
Later expeditions to Aylestone Canal proved bountiful, and saw Captain Fishcake returning home with boatloads of fish each time. He soon gained a reputation in Braunstone Village as an expert fisherman. This led to a sponsorship by the Birds Eye Corporation and won the captain 1st Prize in the Annual English Fishing Awards. It was there where he met his wife, Barbski.
[edit] Marriage
Howard met his wife, Barbski, a professional biscuit eater from the Cotswolds, in the 1960's. After discussing fishing for 4 hours in a telephone conversation, they immediately fell in love. They later married in 1969. In 1976, tragedy struck - they ran out of biscuits for Barbski to eat. When the couple were out fishing on Braunstone Pond on a foggy night in November, the wind suddenly began to howl. The waves crashed up and down, flinging the couple and their stash of biscuits into the murky waters beneath. It is assumed the biscuits sank to the bottom never to be munched again.
| People named "Captain" | |
|
America - Archer - Arrogant - Awesome - Beefheart - Bligh - Britain - Canada - Caveman - Charisma - Captain Common Sense - Cook - Courageous - Crunch - D - Denial - Exaggeration - Feathersword - Falcon - Fishcake - Hook - Jack - Jack Sparrow - Janeway - Jesus - Kirk - Lamberton - Marvel - Marvel (other) - Morgan - N - Oblivious - Obvious - Omnipotent - Picard - Planet - Raccoon - Sarcasm - Scarlet - Selfish - Sisko - Slow - Ultra - Understatement - Vague - Video |


