Capitalism: in grammar

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Capitalise

An example of Fundamentalist Capitalism.

Capitalism (Latin: Capitalismus) is a grammatical system in the English language which involves replacing the lower case letter at the start of a word or multiple lower case letters in the word with an upper case letter. Thus capitalism helps lower class letters become upper class letters. Its first use in the English language was from the frantic Saxon-based trasition of capitalising all the nouns in a sentence. This form of capitalism was seen as too liberal and now in our modern-day society many wealthy businessmen and big businesses prefer to spread the notion of fundamentalist capitalism and extremist capitalism. This has advantages and disadvantages as the article explains.

Grammatical Capitalism In Review

  • People who benefit the most from ideology: People who never write their name in lower-case, authors and elite-grafiti-artists.
  • Political Spectrum Position: Far right - Between Mitt Romney and Darth Vader.
  • Opposing Ideologies: Commanism, Extremalationism, Post-Apostraclypsism.
  • Main Supporters: The French, George Bush, Emperor Palpetine.

Advantages of Capitalism

If You Work Hard And Put A Capital Letter On The Front Of Every Word In A Sentence Then It Stands Out More And Will Attract More Customers To Read Your Sentence So You Are Most Probably Going To End Up Richer And Gain More Power. however in doing this to fund the huge resources required to give a capital letter to every word in a sentence (known as repayment rule), two sentences worth of writing must suffer without a single capital letter. this means that these two sentences become poorer and their writers will have less power and even less punctuation

While this may sound bad, in actual fact it gives the poor writer an incentive to try to put capital letters on the start of every word of their sentence so that they can be richer though more often than not they may find it difficult to get capital letters if they don't know what they're doing. Going to a nice school definately helps.

Disadvantages of Capitalism

Hyperinflation - This Is Where Every Single Writer Has A Desire To Be Rich In Word And Have Control Over Upper Case Letters and Power Over Lower Case Letters. They Ignore The Repayment Rule With Capital Letters And Instead Just Stick A Capital Letter On The Front Of Every Word In Every Sentence They Write. This Means That None Of The Sentences Written By Writers Stand Out.

Boom Period - TO MAKE THESE SENTENCES STAND OUT THE WRITER HAS TO USE EVEN MORE RESOURCES, THAT FRANKLY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE CAN'T AFFORD. THEY GO TO RIDICULOUS LENGTHS TO MAKE THEIR SENTENCES STAND OUT. THIS THEN LEADS TO BOLDINISM, A FORM OF CAPITALISM WHERE THE COMPANY OR PERSON WRITING THE SENTENCES USES NEW INNOVATIVE IDEAS LIKE PUTTING EVERYTHING IN BOLD AND THEN UNDERLINE TO MAKE THEIR SENTENCES STAND OUT. THEN THE WRITERS GET GREEDY AND PUT WORDS IN 72 pt TIMES NEW ROMAN THEY ESTABLISH A SHORT AUTOCRATIC RULE ON EVERYONE THANKS TO THEIR POWER AND INFLUENCE:

bust period - unfortunately after a few years of this so called, "boom" period a recession hits as the world finally catches up with the word-bankers and realises that they've wasted huge amounts of vocabulary and resources creating those capital letters and now everyone has to suffer (not just the greedy word-bankers) and return their over-due debt. this involves years of stagnation and depression that make way for extremist punctuation idealogies. the'se punctua:tion ideologists, turn agaist; capitalism... and attempt to creat@e an extrem'ist military di.ctat.orship in which they, steal all the words for them-selves. more liberal thinkers in the recession realise that all the sentences produced by the big companies in the "boom" times were all as bad as each other and the only reason that people read them was because companies and writers advertised them using psychology to make you want to read them. Some of this psychology is almost as dangerous as Stalinist or Hitler psychology.

Empty

This is what you've done to my book you extremist capitalists!

After a while things begin to improve again with capital letters appearing here and there, sometimes in the wroNg places but government regulations sort them out. Soon the greedy word-bankers and writers go back to inventing ways to make their writing stand out. THe WHole CYcle REpeats ITself AGain.

Another problem with this ideology in English grammar is that, while writers are very competitive and are creating an incentive to write more, which is boosting the English language, they are actually creating short cuts and cheating. Instead of using new, original, complicated, juicy sentences with complex grammar structure, they borrow their ideas off other people and muck about with the presentation of the sentence so no research and development of words is ever undertaken. This is bad for the English speaking portion of the human race as a whole as without researching new words they are liable to be hit by a vocabulary apocalypse where they are so fed up of using the same words over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and that capitalist writers have used up SO MUCH OF THE WORLD'S RESOURCES FROM CAPITALISING LETTERS that we run out of vocabulary and words so the English language just ceases to exi...

See Also

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