Canadian Space Navy

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“"Obey Canadia!"”
~ Warlord General Mr. Dressup on Canadia
SpaceCaptain
Captain Lamberton, Commander in Chief of the Canadian Space Navy

The Canadian Space Navy is the primary army of the nation of Canadia. Many people mispronounce Canadia as Canada or Canatoria. This misconception was started by an error in the spell check for Microsoft word. The Canadian Space Navy was built to steal the Minnesotan top soil for the Canadian shield. For defense, Minnesota built their own space navy. They also attached a Death ray to the side of the worlds tallest building, which is located in Minnesota. It is so tall it was tied to the moon for structural support.

edit Origins of the conflict

The war between Canadia and Minnesota started on a Tuesday, over 3 billion years ago, and may never end. It was started when the prehistoric Minnesotans trained a glacier to steal the top soil from the Canadian shield and give it to Minnesota. This angered the Canadians and spurred the first Battle of the Canadia vs. Minnesota war. The first battle of the war was uneventful. A Canadian riding on a Canadiasaurus picked up a bag of top soil and tried to walk off with it. He was fortunately stopped my a Minneanderthal.

But with the invention of ham, the war became much more deadly, and since every invention from water, to birds, to red links have been used in the war. That is what leads us to the space navy of today.

edit Spacecraft types

A large portion of the space battleships are converted star destoryers .Many of the weapons systems on these ships are in defiance of intergalactic weapons codes.

The flagship of the 214100 vessel fleet is the Duddly Dreadnaght. Named for the famous captain of the Canadian Mounted Police, it is approximately one kilometer long (too good for miles, are they?) and is armed with 300 turbolazers, 56 Luger pistol turrets. and a battering ram. it has a maple leaf across each side (Canadia's national fruit).Canada also built the first Death Star in 1961 in an effrot to end the Canadian Civil War. After recent events in the Canadia/Minnesota war, the Canadians have recently begun construction of a new flag-ship, the "Duddly Dreadnaght 2" (Canadians are well known for their "Original" craft names) which is in actual fact, a giant robotic space craft based entirely upon Chuck Norris, which is theoretically therefore, unbeatable - however, due to legal arguments with God (who, doesn't like to hand out patent pending forms for Chuck Norris on a whim) this ship may never be completed, however, the canadians are fairly sure that with their recent sacrifice of Cyborg Hitler to the blood fountains of C'thulhu, (hopefully by helping one god out, they'll get another to lend a hand) the mighty Space-robot-Chuck-Norris will be completed by the year 2072, and be armed with all of its previous weapons, with the addition of a new Crotch mounted lazer cum cannon.

The navy also has several troop transporters for carrying Canadian space marines to the battlefield. They sell tickets aboard them for people who want to save time and bypass border security, as well.

edit Blood topsoil

In an actually proper use of the term Irony, Minnesota has started to sell it's top soil to support and defeat their cause. Because of the violent purpose that these top soil sales aid it has come to be known as "blood topsoil". This top soil should never be used. It can be recognised by the blood and chipped teeth mixed in with it. All I have to say is that this branch of the top soil market is dispi-(Buy Blood topsoil now only $12.75 with purchase of a month young hot dog at your local Super America)-cable and should be shut down before any more damage is done.

edit Canadian space marines

Highly trained warriors who live for one purpose and one purpose only, to wear the brightly coloured yellow bandage which they receive when they are selected from a list no shorter than 20 million.

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