Camping

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Wildeanddouglas

Is that a tent you're making under your hat there Albert?

“Surely they will allow us some quotes on this page?”
~ Oscar Wilde

“Surely they will?”
~ Lord Alfred Douglas
“Most definitely dear boys....”
“I'm a happy camper!”
~ Father Jack on camping

Camping is a step in a family/Person/Child's life when they run out of money and must move to the wilderness with all the wolves and shit. Camping is generally done outside, in what is known to campers as "the outdoors". Being in "the outdoors" mostly sucks and is called "the great outdoors" by people who don't want the outdoors to feel bad about itself, or when campers want to make the best out of a bad situation. I bet the last time you used the term was while imagining the prospects of smearing off the inside of your butt cheeks with a leaf after walking around for four hours in hard-ass boots. You don't usually hear people inside their house refer to it as "the great indoors", as they stretch in their recliner and pop open a cold one, now do you? Think about it.

Camping (via Tent)

Tent Camping is one of the most poor excuses for fun, it includes a tent (Duh!) and bags that you're supposed to "sleep" in. Tent Camping is often the only thing a family can do when Dad spends all his money on Women and booze and the Mortgage man comes to take the house. The tent camp is also accompanied by a camp-fire, for Cannibalism, Human Sacrifice and cooking. Some say that Tent Camping is actually a form of Hoboism, whereas the campers are the Hobos. They also say these are the best homeless people because we don't have to see their ugly faces.

Camping (while lost)

Camping1

Good old fashion Gay Butt-Banging Fun.

Lost Camping is the strangest of all the Camping categories, where someone gets lost in a giant abundance of forest, and survives off the earth until they are rescued. Now, why anyone would do this is just retarded. The only food in the forest are berries, and berries suck unless they're loaded with sugar and smothered in chocolate. Also, there are some big-ass wilderness animals out there who are also living off the land, and ready to rip your head off. I would much rather get lost at a Super-Mega Wal-Mart. Because then, there's a Mickey-Dee's.

Camping (via Cabin)

Cabin Camping has two forms: Lodge Cabin Camping, Personal Cabin Camping.

Lodge

Lodge Camping is where a group of males (Or females, in which case it's obviously much more sexy) stay in a large Cabin for a few weeks. Usually there are 10-20 young boys looked after by 2 older men. In this case, the children are not allowed to leave the site or else they will be attacked by dogs, and all phone-lines are cut. If there are males and females, then the two sexes are separated.

The Average Schedule is as followed:

7AM: Wake-up
7:30AM: Hit the showers (Supervised.)
8AM: Breakfast (Sausages Served.)
9AM: [[Knitting]]
10AM: [[Swimming]] with the Instructor! (In your [[Birthday suit]]s kids!)
11AM: Hit the showers (Supervised.)
12PM: Sponge bath for the Instructor!
12:30PM: [[Lunch]]
1PM: [[Nature]] Hike. Billy will be staying back with instructor Dave.
3PM: Take off your [[clothes]] for bath-time. Slowly...
3:15PM: All Campers take private Bath with instructor Tom.
6PM: [[Dinner]].
7PM: Pajama Tag in the Dark!
8PM: Bedtime. The Instructor's Beds have "broken" so they will bunk with the Campers.

During the night some campers will be taken to the wilderness with Instructor Tom for "Hunting"
Lessons and a fun sausage eating contest!

Private Cabin

Image13

Burn Retarded Kids Burn! BWAHAHA!

Private Cabin is just awful, it's just like Tent Camping except more money. You live in a Cabin (a lot like a house except no power, water or fun), you must live off the land's fish, deer, berries and shit, but you do have a warm fire to snuggle up to. (Snuggling? What are you? . . . gay?)

Campfire Cooking

Campfire Cooking is also associated with camping, because you need to cook to eat and eat to survive and survive to win. Sausages are best.

Cannibalism Cooking Techniques

These are some Cannibalism Cooking Techniques For when you and your friends get really, really desperate for food, so you eat the retarded kid nobody likes anyway.

Gas

If you have enough gas and your Retarded Kid meat, you smother the meat in gas and throw a match on it. Once you think it is cooked enough (the Retarded Kid stops moving and screaming), throw that burnt Retard meat into the lake and retrieve him for a wet and tasty dinner.

Camping In Video Games

Camping in video games is hiding in one spot, on a comfortable cot, waiting to noob kill someone walking past. These "campers" usually do the best in these games, until the other players get fed up and burn their house down.

See Also

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