Call centre

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β€œIn Soviet Russia Centre calls YOU!”

~ Russian Reversal on Call Centre
A typical call being centered in Bangalore, India


Call centres are places where people who like to take abuse at the hands of complete random strangers prefer to spend their time. They are staffed by masochists, electricians, dwarves and halflings from West Virginia, Spain, India and Philippines whose only qualification has to be that they speak and understand very little English. This is a necessary skill to help them annoy, frustrate and anger the hell out of rich dedicated consumers.

Most people who work in Call Centres are massively medicated or become alcoholics. This usually happens after the intense experience encountered when using the wonderful contact and documentation program called CS3. However, the West Virginian sect are usually drunks even before they get to work and, of course, have the fewest teeth.

The GOB.net organization was started by some former Call Centre employees.

Call center agents are the phoniest of all people you've ever known. They are the worst fakers. They talk and act like happy gay people who are so confident and who are so damn obsessed with themselves and money. It sucks they've been earning large amounts of money for such crappy job. They already have coins growing in their foreheads.

And besides, it's stupid to nag people to something they do not want. They are pushers. Call center agents are the worst people on Earth. Their faces deserve to be printed in a hundred peso bill for their heroism. Indeed, the world doesn't need junks.

Many call centres have attempted to use VoIP technology for their telephony solution, always without success and always resulting personal injury.

Those who work in call centres have absolutly no hope in life and want to die every second that they are at work. They also say 'please' at the end of every sentence for no apparent reason. People that work at callcenters usually have to ask for permission to go to the bathroom, said permissioncan be denied, but permitted after taking another call.

The Agents who work at call centers are easily fooled as well. They are required by law to believe anything you say, since you, the customer, is always right. This can make for good times if you remember to implement a plan involving lying about your gender/sexual orientation and use it to hit on them/bug them/swear at them. If not, you may feel free to just hang up when you hear the click that designates that someone from India has your phone number.

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