Cabal@home

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Cabal@Home was a distributed computing program developed by the fine people at the Uncycloversity's Department of Research for Secret Organizations That Don't Exist. The project was started sometime around 1987 in an attempt to find the elusive Cabal. The project lasted until 2009 when Super Grand Pubah of the the World Mr. T declared the search a waste of world government money. Many conspiracy theorists believe that Pubah T's actions were directly resultant of pressure put on him by the Cabal.

edit Premise

The idea was that users from around the world would download the program to their computers and all the unused computer cycles that were not used for the downloading of porn were used for the finding of the elusive Cabal. Three weeks after the program was made available nearly everybody in the world had it downloaded. The only people rumored not to have downloaded the program were the Cabal members themselves.Cabal is real.

Cabalathome

The program that started it all.

edit The Program

The programmers at Uncyclopedia University wrote the program so that anytime the computer wasn't downloading porn, all computer resources were used. If users attempted to do anything other than download porn, the program would attempt to cut off the users genitals. This proved to be an effective deterrent as nobody wanted their naughty bits to be chopped off.

edit Different Cores and Work Units

When activated the program would download a Work Unit (WU) from a specific core. The computer would then process the needed information from the work unit. Notable cores include:

  • The Whitehouse Core (2004) - Core that investigated if then President George W. Bush was actually part of the Cabal.
  • The Langely Core (1992) - Core designed to determine if Cabal existed in the CIA.
  • The Goa Tse Core (2000) - Core meant to peer deep into Goa Tse's asshole and determine if Cabal existed deep in his bowels.
  • Pee Wee Herman Core (1988) - Core that scoured the mind of Pee Wee Herman. The only things that were found were related to sexual fantasies about children.
  • 1/0 Core (Date Unknown) - Core that held the most promise of determining if there was a Cabal. Unfortunately like the Cabal, 1/0 cannot be found.
CabalDoesn'tExist
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