From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“"CNet? More like C nothing, because there's nothing on the website. Nothing of value at least."”
CNet is a Internet corporation, founded by Joseph Ratzinger, secretly Darth Benedict the sixteenth.
It is unknown how CNet managed to buy GameFAQS from Lord CJayC, most people agree that CNet used the Imperius Curse to control the soul of CJayC, CNet then send Lady BethanyM to watch the souless CJayC, that way CNet secretly rules GameFAQs when gamefakers think CJayC still does. In fact, this isn't true. The truth is that CJayC is a pathetic ungrateful sellout who betrayed every promise he ever made to the users who are responsible for the success of his website, and still thinks he can make jokes about it and exuse it by simply saying "Cnet told me to, I'm their bitch and have no free will".
CJayC lives inside BethanyM's vagina. There, he heads a colony of centipedes which took over when Duke Nukem Forever was released in the 1800's.
Some months later CNet did what they wanted to do, the people named Joseph Ratzinger Pope Benedict XVI, giving him control of the world.
Cnet then bought The Internet Republic of TVtome and renamed it the Internet Republic of TV.com thus sucking out all of the fun from the internet.
CNet is slowly buying every Internet nation, Internet Scientis expect that on December 23, 2012, the Internet will be renamed The Incestual ASexual Internet Empire of CNet and will being controlled secretly by Darth Benedict the sixteenth, everyone on the Internet and the world will have to use names like cnetslave3775868544 or cnetslave3775868544. Everyone, from tiny children to smelly old men, will be raped one time a day by CNet Sexual Machine and will work with no clothes on but a sign with their numbers. Unfortunately, it's not going to happen because CNet is bought by the CBS
Help.com is a new web site from CNet Networks that allows users to pose questions and ask for advice to be answered by members of the community. They have refused to give away a free pony to everyone who visits the web site. Help.com head honcho Erik Kokkonen described the site as being, "A new paradigm for generating responsive incremental capability for total monitored mobility with a credibly flexible template device."