CJ de Mooi

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“I really don't know so I'm just going to guess that he's very good.”
~ Daphne Fowler commenting on CJ
“Back in 1810 I had never heard of him.”
~ Chris Huge commenting on CJ
“Flash Gordon's alive!?”
~ Flash Gordon commenting on CJ
For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about CJ de Mooi.

CJ de Mooi has the answer but if you are reading this article...pity.

Connagh-Joseph de Mooi, known as CJ de Mooi or simply Captain Chaos (b. 6 November 1969), is a professional quizzer and a panellist on the BBC television show Eggheads. He is known mostly for being the most baddass and invincible quiz player of all time, having never answered a single question incorrectly on any show he has appeared on. His IQ is over 9000.

edit Weakest Link

CJ was a contestant on The Weakest Link and was voted out very early after the other contestants caught on that they didn't have the slightest hope of beating him in the final.

In his speech after being voted off, he explained this situation and gave the impression of him being a sore loser, as he had not been around long enough for people to know just how badass he was, which was like totally unfair.

He was then invited back to the sore losers edition which he won, but disappointingly only won a small amount as the other players were nowhere near as skilled as he was.

edit Eggheads

CJ is most known for being an egghead on the show with a similar name. He has never been defeated and it is sometimes debated whether the other eggheads would even be a good team were it not for CJ's brilliance.

He is known to pull stupid faces whenever other eggheads or contestants do not know answers to questions which are so obvious and have no excuse for not knowing, such as "How many grains of sand are on Earth?", "What's the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?" and "What's the story in Balamory?". These questions should be so easy, according to CJ that he feels disgusted at the stupidity of all who are around him.

edit Public Hatred

So awesome are CJ's skills, the general public of the UK and Yorkshire has gained a large disliking towards him comprised entirely of utter jealousy. This has sparked a response of people walking up to him in the street and attacking him. He has even been mentioned as being the most irritating man on television entirely because he is so skilled.

He has also sparked numerous products to help relieve the public of this unfair hatred including t-shirts for dogs which say "I bit CJ" and a video game, Porrasturvat CJ Dismount, where you must push him down a staircase.

edit Chess

CJ is a chess Mensa champion after cleverly inventing the new CJ piece, which can use the up/down dimension unavailable to the other pieces.

This piece may capture other pieces from above and can even place a King in check simply by hovering above it. Armed with this piece, CJ is almost as unstoppable as he is as a quizplayer.

edit Modeling Career

Before becoming the most awesome, most unbeatable, most relentlessly stupendous quizzer of all time, CJ was a fashion model. He was known as "the face" where as his partner in crime was known as "not the face". It is unclear as to whether "the face" was simply short for "the face I would love to smash". CJ gave up his modelling career as he is now normally bruised from public attacks.

edit Trivia

  • He likes jelly.
  • His favourite film of all-time is Speed 2: Cruise Control.
  • His celebrity dream date is professional quizzer CJ de Mooi.

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