Bullet For Mai Valentine

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“It's selling even more than my Duel Disks!”
~ Seto Kaiba on Bullet For Mai Valentine albums
“Loveless is like WAY overrated!”
~ Hilary Duff on How Isn't Anything is like, ten times more Metal
Bullet For Mai Valentine
Origins Japan
Year(s) active 3005BC—this year.
Genre(s) Metalcore
(Fake) Metal
Labels Kaiba Corp Records.
Members Current Members:
Dark Yugi
Yugi Mutou
Katsuya Jonouchi
Seto "Blue-Eyes White Dragon" Kaiba

Former Member(s):
Ryo Bakura
Former members {{{former members}}}

Bullet For Mai Valentine is an overrated four-piece metalcore band sideproject started by the original cast of Yu-Gi-Oh after they were taken off the air to be replaced by their successors Yu-Gi-Oh! Jee Ex. The band consists of Dark Yugi (Yami Yugi), a guitarist with ample fanservice, Yugi Mutou (Yugi Moto), who does the vocals and card game marketing, Katsuya Jonouchi (Joey Wheeler), who does drums, comedic foiling, drugs, and gangster sex, and Seto "Blue-Eyes White Dragon" Kaiba; Kaiba is the manager and performs bass and back-up vocals. Originally Ryo Bakura was to be in the band but he was dropped for reasons unknown although there have been many speculations concerning his removal from the band, some go as far as saying he tried to kill his band mates while they played Monster World. They are named after the duelist/stripper Mai Kujaku (Mai Valentine), whom it was revealed that Jonouchi had been involved in an affair with. Although in 4Kidsland Mai *is* known as Mai Valentine, the album was actually named because Jonouchi knew the pun "Mai Valentine" and though it would be funny to use the pun on Mai's name.




Yami and Yugi are rockin'

After the producers decided to call off the original anime series of Yu-Gi-Oh, the cast found themselves unemployed and scrounging off tax payers. Angered by this decision, Yugi Mutou wrote his first hateful song about the cast of their replacement series, Yu-Gi-Oh! Jee Exx. Then Dark Yugi, who had been watching Yugi the whole time, decided that the two of them should start a band. It was then that they recruited their drummer and bassist/manager, Jonouchi and Kaiba, into their group. Soon they had written up an album, and thanks to Jonouchi, had named their band.


Bassist Seto "Blue-Eyes White Dragon" Kaiba

Joey's Affair With Mai Valentine


Mai deserves a bullet for breaking Joey's heart.

Prior to "Bullet For Mai Valentine," the band's drummer Katsuya Jonouchi was involved in a relationship with a stripper named Mai Kujaku. His breaking up with her after he discovered her cheating is where the band earned their name along with the inspiration of some of the songs on their EP You/Duel With Me.

Ancient Egyptian Connection

At the Egyptian Exhibit Expo 2007, Ishizu Ishtar revealed to Seto Kaiba through hieroglyphics carved into giant rocks that the modern band Bullet for Mai Valentine is, in fact, a reincarnation of an Ancient Egyptian band formed in the year 3005 BC. In Ancient times, the band played heavy metal music in honor of the god Ra at the Pharaoh's temple. The members of the band consisted of the lead temple cantor Pharaoh Atem; on goat harp was High Priest Seto; and on boulder percussion was the pyramid slave, Jono. The band was named after the Pharaoh's famous Hebrew concubine, Mai. The giant rocks contains some unknown hieroglyphics which Ishizu believes are the lost lyrics to their most famous hymn to Ra: "Screw the Gods, I Have Camels!"

The Puzzle

"Bullet For Mai Valentine" made their first breakthrough with their debut album The Puzzle which was released under Kaiba Corp Records and entered the charts at #69. It was described as the band as an angry tirade against the Yu-Gi-Oh GX crew and is jam-packed full of more hateful lyrics than an Eminem and Marilyn Manson album combined.

The album was received with mixed reviews by critics with some saying it was absolutely wonderful and others likening their style too much to other music acts from which the band had obviously stolen their riffs.

Scream Aim Duel

Scream Aim Duel is the title of Bullet For Mai Valentine's second studio album. The album was released in 2005AD. Yami, the guitarist, commented on the album; "The biggest difference is probably the tempo and agression. It's a lot more uptempo and a whole damn lot more aggressive, so much so that it sounds worse to me than nails on a chalkboard". Later he was reported to say "It makes me want to give all of you little fuckers Syphilis so your dicks can fall off so I can go and eat all of them".

Heart of the Cards: Music to be Friends By

Following the critical and commercial failure of Scream Aim Duel, lead singer Yugi Mutou fell into a heavy depression and lapsed back into his old compulsive eating habits. While on a Fanta and Pecan Sandie binge, he hit rock bottom and turned to long time friend Anzu Mazaki (Téa Gardner) for emotional support. Anzu convinced Yugi to never again create heavy metal music and instead write music that focused on friendship and friendship related themes, like platonic hand holding, acting as the enabler for your manipulative but emotionally weak friends and unhealthy, destructive co-dependence. The result was the 2006 album, Heart of the Cards: Music to be Friends By.

Mai Milk Shake Brings All the Boys to the Yard

After the massive failure of Heart of the Cards, "A Bullet for Mai Valentine" considered breaking up. It was not until Yami used his Mind Crush technique to put Kaiba into a coma that Yugi realized how dire the situation really was. Kaiba Corp Records was strongly considering dropping the band from their label, even though Seto Kaiba, the owner of Kaiba Corp Records, was one of the band members. And even "A Bullet for Mai Valentine"'s diehard fans had turned on them. Only Sugoroku Mutou, Yugi's perverted grandfather, remained a loyal follower.

Deciding to return to their roots, the band produced a finely crafted heavy metal album from the loudest noises they could make. Says band member Katsuya Jonouchi, "We put our hearts and souls into this album. Not only that, but we also put Mokuba's soul into the album. You can thank Yug's Millennium Puzzle for that little trick. Listen to track 6 carefully and you can hear him screaming for help in the background." Each cacophonous song comes from the personal experiences of the band members and puts the listener face to face with the hell of living the life of both a hardcore rock star and children's card game expert. Edgy and racy songs like "Black Luster Soldiers on Blondes" explore the taboo of inter-racial love between a human and a playing card. Other songs like the murky "Mind Crush > Friendship" seem to explore Yugi's dark days under Anzu's influence.

Rock Bland III: Plastic Instrument World Tour

Because of the success of Mai Milk Shake, songs from "Bullet for Mai Valentine" are available for download for the latest edition the popular video game franchise, Rock Bland. Among the most difficult songs is the power ballad, "Get Outta My Basement; Get Outta My Head" because the vocal range switches octaves at a time depending on whether Yugi or Yami is singing.

Also available for download are two songs from the original Ancient Egyptian incarnation of "Bullet for Mai Valentine," "Egyptian Rage" and "Screw the Gods, I Have Camels!" Unfortunately, these songs are rarely played because they require the purchase of a special expansion pack that includes a plastic goat harp and an authentic boulder percussion instrument. It has been widely reported that prolonged use of the boulder percussion instrument leads to serious spinal and hernia injuries as they were originally designed to be played by pyramid slaves.


Album art for The Puzzle


Drug Use

Like with the Beatles, members of the band have been known to perform whilst on LSDs, causing outrage amongst some people and religious groups.

In 2005, Yugi was caught with several bottles of industrial strength Kaiba Corp Viagra at a Tokyo airport. In his defense, Yugi argued that Kaiba had given him the pills as a heads up for future homosexual companions. An official statement was released finalizing that the pills were in fact planted in Yugi's bag during the Japan tour by Kaiba who relied on the Viagra as a backup for when he needed to have sexual intercourse with men and forgot to bring his rare "Blue Eyes White Dragon" to first arouse him.

Alleged Homosexuality


Jonouchi and Kaiba as caught on camera.

“Oh Kaiba, your dragon is so big!”
~ Katsuya Jonouchi on Kaiba's "dragon"
“He knows how to do it doggy-style”
~ Seto Kaiba on Katsuya Jonouchi

Whilst on tour, footage of Katsuya Jonouchi and Seto Kaiba caught on camera performing homosexual acts was leaked on the internet causing outrage amongst many. Wheeler and Kaiba denied any involvement but their denials were overlooked when they were caught having a passionate pash backstage. Apparently it has also been hinted that Yugi and Dark Yugi are also involved in some sort of homosexual behavior, especially since they are rarely seen apart; Yugi wanted to feel up Anzu, but since Anzu is essentially forced to have sex with Yugi's grandfather, Yugi has no choice but to accept Dark Yugi's annoying advances.

Practice of BDSM

The band have often come under fire for practicing BDSM on stage in front of live audiences. These displays are often between the Yugis and tend to involve chains, bondage and the wearing tight leather. An onlooker was just plain disturbed after Yugi, who was acting the role of the dominator, had Dark Yugi half-naked on a leash and began to whip him. Another half a dozen or so squealing fangirls fainted at the sight. Medical assistance was required and the band was sternly warned against repeats of such displays of public affection by haggard prosecutors.

See Also

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