Budapest

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“When a man is tired of Budapest....he goes to the Airport”

~ Oscar Wild on Budapest

“I really need to find a Buda ”

~ polish guy in Budapest wanting to find a dog house for his dog in Budapest

“I really need to find a Buda ”

~ romanian guy in Budapest wanting to find a toilet in Budapest

“BLASPHEMY! ”

~ other romanian,from Buda,Buzău,visiting Budapest

“This pisses me off so much......”

~ bhudda on bhudda-pest

“Budapest? I've never even heard of it. I thought Europe was a country.”

~ Kellie Pickler on Budapest

Budapest also known as Bucharest is the capital city of Hungary (former Germany & Little Italy & Turkey & Mongolia & Australia) and the country's principal political, industrial, commercial, transportation and prostitute center. It has more than 1.7 million inhabitants.

The City itself is known for its artificial architecture and the good food. (Also known as the City of Dog Shit and Kebab Shops). Some right-wing irredent Budapestians claim that the real "Great Budapest" consists of much more territory (even Gödöllö and Rákosborzasztó is included).

[edit] History

Founded by Bela Lugosi Budapest grew to become the biggest city in Hungary. That means nothing to the people of as great nations as e. g. the Norwegians (who roam its streets frequently) but the physicists and prostitutes living in the city are proud of that. In the 19th century the city competed with the capital of Australia so the two cities are very similar. The city was not always called Budapest,below you can see the dramatic changes that made BudaPest the thing we all known and admire,life wouldn't be the same without it.

~an ancient buda,before any pest was neat it ~when a more modern Buda became one with the house Pest!

[edit] Demographic history

756: 54,012 inhabitants
757: 102,233.5
758: 178,444
759: 370,817
760: 733,412
761: 957,832
762: 2,016,100
2004: 1,800,000 (estimated)

The years between 762 and 2004 are unrecorded because Europe was a part of Hungary during this time.

[edit] Districts of Budapest

Budapest's districts are numbered basically clockwise, in widening circles, and are unorganized. 37 out of 53 districts are not controlled by the government but by Elvis Presley who is living in Budapest after he escaped from America. Also Bill Gates controls the world from here. Native Hungarians know him as Gyurcsány Ferenc.

[edit] Transport

[edit] Airport

Ferihegy International Airport (in English literally Frankie-Mountain International Airport) is a major traffic hub of Central Budapest (not Europe).

[edit] Subway

The Budapest Subway system is not yet finished, but it's left often for suicides. The Subway is closed to the public during the day unless they are able to purchase a piece of tiny paper that is stamped in triplicate. This is discouraged by the great ticket machine purge of 1953 where every machine was replaced with an empty steel box. Only 5 real ticket machines were left on the whole network, every Hungarian swears an oath never to tell their true whereabouts.

There are 3 Metro lines that have trains made from Red, Yellow & Blue Transformers captured during the Austrian-Hungarian robot war of 1910. The maps identify where you can see the devious robot race in action. The 3rd oldest in Europe, the metro 1 line is made entirely of matchsticks & cheese (hence the yellow colour & is fueled by the magic liquid know as Red Tej.

The Budapest metro is the only metro to have ticket inspectors trained by Ninjas in stealth & they are conscripted from general population when they reach the age of 13. Every citizen must do a tour of metro ticket duty, this is why everyone looks so happy on the Metro as they have been fined at least once.

Tourists are asked not to ride the metro as they just get in the way, any tourist found on the metro is fined straight away for 5,000 HUFs. The whole system had signs that used to be in English unitl it was changed to a language not even Hungarians could pronounce in 1982. The 'knowledge' or how to travel on the metro has been handed down from generation to generation by word of mouth.