Budapest
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“When a man is tired of Budapest....he goes to the Airport”
~ Oscar Wild on Budapest
“I really need to find a Buda ”
~ polish guy in Budapest wanting to find a dog house for his dog in Budapest
“I really need to find a Buda ”
~ romanian guy in Budapest wanting to find a toilet in Budapest
“BLASPHEMY! ”
~ other romanian,from Buda,Buzău,visiting Budapest
“This pisses me off so much......”
~ bhudda on bhudda-pest
“Budapest? I've never even heard of it. I thought Europe was a country.”
~ Kellie Pickler on Budapest
Budapest also known as Bucharest is the capital city of Hungary (former Germany & Little Italy & Turkey & Mongolia & Australia) and the country's principal political, industrial, commercial, transportation and prostitute center. It has more than 1.7 million inhabitants.
The City itself is known for its artificial architecture and the good food. (Also known as the City of Dog Shit and Kebab Shops). Some right-wing irredent Budapestians claim that the real "Great Budapest" consists of much more territory (even Gödöllö and Rákosborzasztó is included).
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[edit] History
Founded by Bela Lugosi Budapest grew to become the biggest city in Hungary. That means nothing to the people of as great nations as e. g. the Norwegians (who roam its streets frequently) but the physicists and prostitutes living in the city are proud of that. In the 19th century the city competed with the capital of Australia so the two cities are very similar. The city was not always called Budapest,below you can see the dramatic changes that made BudaPest the thing we all known and admire,life wouldn't be the same without it.
[edit] Demographic history
- 756: 54,012 inhabitants
- 757: 102,233.5
- 758: 178,444
- 759: 370,817
- 760: 733,412
- 761: 957,832
- 762: 2,016,100
- 2004: 1,800,000 (estimated)
The years between 762 and 2004 are unrecorded because Europe was a part of Hungary during this time.
[edit] Districts of Budapest
Budapest's districts are numbered basically clockwise, in widening circles, and are unorganized. 37 out of 53 districts are not controlled by the government but by Elvis Presley who is living in Budapest after he escaped from America. Also Bill Gates controls the world from here. Native Hungarians know him as Gyurcsány Ferenc.
[edit] Transport
[edit] Airport
Ferihegy International Airport (in English literally Frankie-Mountain International Airport) is a major traffic hub of Central Budapest (not Europe).
[edit] Subway
The Budapest Subway system is not yet finished, but it's left often for suicides. The Subway is closed to the public during the day unless they are able to purchase a piece of tiny paper that is stamped in triplicate. This is discouraged by the great ticket machine purge of 1953 where every machine was replaced with an empty steel box. Only 5 real ticket machines were left on the whole network, every Hungarian swears an oath never to tell their true whereabouts.
There are 3 Metro lines that have trains made from Red, Yellow & Blue Transformers captured during the Austrian-Hungarian robot war of 1910. The maps identify where you can see the devious robot race in action. The 3rd oldest in Europe, the metro 1 line is made entirely of matchsticks & cheese (hence the yellow colour & is fueled by the magic liquid know as Red Tej.
The Budapest metro is the only metro to have ticket inspectors trained by Ninjas in stealth & they are conscripted from general population when they reach the age of 13. Every citizen must do a tour of metro ticket duty, this is why everyone looks so happy on the Metro as they have been fined at least once.
Tourists are asked not to ride the metro as they just get in the way, any tourist found on the metro is fined straight away for 5,000 HUFs. The whole system had signs that used to be in English unitl it was changed to a language not even Hungarians could pronounce in 1982. The 'knowledge' or how to travel on the metro has been handed down from generation to generation by word of mouth.
[edit] Helpful hints for tourists in Budapest
[edit] Language and culture
The Hungarian people are proud of their language, culture, and history. You can show your appreciation and respect for them by learning a few simple things in their language. An enthusiastic greeting of “Bazd meg!”, (pronounced “BaazMeg!”) is a way to show that you are friendly and are honoring them by greeting them in their native language. You will hear this in many or most social settings; with coworkers, in the subway system (Metro), in restaurants and bars, and so on.
The people of Hungary, as mentioned, have a strong sense of history and culture. If the topic comes up, you can show your sophistication and understanding by expressing that the centuries of Turkish influence were by far the best period in Hungarian history. They will know that you have studied the history, and will enthusiastically discuss this topic with you at length.
[edit] Food and Drink
The food is interesting and varied, traditional meals are to be found at nearly any sidewalk café. A few things to be aware of regarding the liquid refreshments, however. There is a traditional Hungarian drink made from fruit juice, known as Palinka. This is flavorful refreshment, quite enjoyable. They serve it in small glasses, so it is common to have each of the perhaps 6 or 8 varieties of Palinka that are available to sample, without getting filled up. Of course, if you find one that you like, you can order the entire bottle, but it is traditional and expected that you order an assortment.
[edit] Tourists guide to transportation
Public transport in Budapest is puzzling at first, but here are a few hints to help you understand it better. The best way to get around the inner-ring of the city is, of course, Metro 4 (green line). The locals may try to discourage you from using it, but do not be fooled, it is the easiest way to get from place to place in inner Budapest.
In some of the subway stations, the transit authority has stationed Money Changers. They can help you with tickets, or if you need coins from bills, and so on. To add interest and culture, some of them have been issued musical instruments, or assigned to sing or dance to entertain the travelers; if you just need change it is usual to help yourself from the container in front of them. Also note that this is similar to the spare-change cups at some American cashiers; if you are a few coins short for a purchase, help yourself, but of course please don’t abuse this.
The Hungarian government also provides a visitor-only taxi service, as a way of stimulating tourism and encouraging visitors. These cars are marked “Rendörség” and the drivers will take you anywhere within the Budapest metropolitan area, on request. Remember to use the friendly greeting (BazdMeg!) as above, hand them your passport, get in (back seat only please, it’s traditional), and tell them where you want to go. Some of the drivers enjoy having a bit of fun with tourists, pretending not to understand and so on; play along, it is part of the game.
[edit] Don't miss these sights
The US Embassy is not far from the Parliament building (the large building on the top of Castle Hill, with the green dome). It is picturesque, and the tour guides outside will be happy to take your picture in front of this beautiful building. The guided tour takes about an hour, but is well worth the time.
Parliament is another enjoyable tour. The guides are friendly, and there are signs in English clearly showing you where to get tickets, and so on. There is no need to pre-arrange a tour; they welcome visitors warmly. Be sure while you are there, to ask your tour guides to use the Parliamentary bathrooms; they are stunningly beautiful, and the guide will be impressed with your knowledge of the things to see.
If you fancy a quick walk, Gellért Hill (on the Buda side of the river, between Chain bridge and Freedom bridge) is a relaxing stroll. You’ll often see retired people on the paths, as it is an easy walk through a picturesque park.
Shopping bargains can be had at the Vaci Utca, which is a pedestrian-only street on the Pest side of the river, near Chain Bridge. It is a bit out of the way, but worth the trouble. The prices are good, the locals are friendly, and happy to see the occasional tourist who ventures into this area which is usually only seen by locals. Music and entertainment can easily be enjoyed here; don’t be surprised if you are asked to come in to have a drink by a friendly proprietor.
The underground shopping mall beneath the West End (Nyugati) train station is a marvel to see, especially at night. Bring your camera. And your valueables. We're waiting.
[edit] Summary
These are only a few of the things that you can find to enjoy in Budapest, but remember your friendly greetings, and have fun. Bazd Meg!
[edit] Other notable cities
| Magyarság |
 People
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| Atilla's Barca Lounger * Buda's Place * The Hungarian Province of Romania * Zolton's Paprika Palace * Bull's Slaughter of Eger |
