Britus Underachievium

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Britus Underachievium, which translates literally into English as British Underachievers is, on the whole, an endangered species. Characterised by overwhelming and consistent underachievement, members of the species can most often be found in Britain, though they can be seen all over the world, from Madrid, Spain, to remote parts of the United States, hiding amongst and breeding with the large numbers of similar species found there.

Historical relevance of the species

Main article: Britus Underachievium in history

For many years, Britus Underachevium was a relatively inconspicuous species, typified by understatedness and lack of a killer instinct which could have seen it flourish. Every location where the species previously dominated was overtaken by stronger, more quickly breeding species, causing Britus Underachievium to recede into obscurity and retreat into the woodlands of Northern Britain.

The 1960's, however, saw a rise in numbers of sub-species in southern parts of Britain, thought to be effected by other sympathetic species feeling sorry for Britus Underachievium. Farther north, 1978 also saw a similar trend amongst Highland species. Even this could not save the species, though, as it continued along a steady decline towards the state of extinction at which it rests today.

Survival

The Britus Underachievium species now seems perilously close to extinction, though some sub-species remain in captivity. The Rooneyus Metatarsalum can be seen in zoos around the UK and in Baden Baden, Germany during 2006. Normally a sedate creature, this primate becomes incensed when provoked in even the slightest fashion, most particularly when someone inadvertedly steps on its foot. This is due to the creature's weak matatarsal bones susceptible to much damage.

The largest class of Britus Underachievium can usually be found in major sporting arenas around the globe. All sports are considered fair game for Britus Underachievium ranging from individual events such as Tennis (Henmanus Crapus) to world sports such as Football, Rugby Union, Rugby League, Cricket, Athletics. the list is endless.

Rival species

The species continues to survive in Britain, though it is under serious threat of extinction by stronger, more affluent species. The main rival to Britus Underachievium is Australius Killthepomsium, though other home-grown species have begun to populate in recent times. The dominance of the Freddi Flintoffsium has seen the downfall of the Grey Umhick (Stumpedus Onceagainium), which is happily sadly close to extinction.

The threat to existence is generally present amongst many other sub-species. The once-popular Scotlandus Tartanarmun is now dominated by even moderately strong species such as the migrating Faroe Islandus and even the Svenska Ikeashopper.

The Common Tim

Main article: Common Tim

One such example of the toils of the Britus Underachevium species is the plight of the Common Tim. Its natural habitat is Merton, London, where each year, 'Tim Spotters' gather to witness its exit and migration. Due to the rise of newer, stronger, more skilled hunters and also the deterioration of the British climate, the Tim is threatened with extinction.

Recent success of the species

There are, of course, notable exceptions to the rule that all species of Britus Underachevium are close to extinction. One ray of hope in Britus Underachievium 's survival is the Davidus Beckhami, which is flourishing on the Mediterranean coast of Europe. Although this sub-species is, like many others of the genus, on the decline, it is arguably the most successful of Britus Underachevium''s sub species. However, it is believed that once it returns to its homeland as many scientists predict, the sub-species may be highly subject to mass decline.

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