Brittany

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|image_coat =[[Image:Brittany_coat_of_arms.jpg|180px]]
 
|image_coat =[[Image:Brittany_coat_of_arms.jpg|180px]]
 
|image_map =[[Image:Brittany_map.gif|180px]]
 
|image_map =[[Image:Brittany_map.gif|180px]]
|map_caption =This is what French call "Britain".
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|map_caption =What the French call "Britain".
 
|capital =Breton people claim it to be '''Rennes''', a town best-known for the number of cars torched annually.
 
|capital =Breton people claim it to be '''Rennes''', a town best-known for the number of cars torched annually.
|official_languages =Breton (one of the most widely spoken British language) and French (although everyone denies it)
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|official_languages =Breton (one of the most widely spoken British languages) and French (although everyone denies it)
|national_heros =Asterix and Obelix
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|national_heros =Asterix and Obélix
 
|major_imports =Cheese
 
|major_imports =Cheese
 
|major_exports =Galettes, fish and wine}}
 
|major_exports =Galettes, fish and wine}}
 
 
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''This article is on the region of France. For other uses see [[Brittany (disambiguation)]].
 
''This article is on the region of France. For other uses see [[Brittany (disambiguation)]].
 
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'''Brittany''' is a small piece of [[France]] that is adjacent to [[Britain]], if one ignores the daunting body of water between them. The name, whose literal meaning is "Little Britain," was an ingenious plot of the [[Sarkozy]] administration to make people think that Brittany ''is'' actually Great Britain. If Brittany's economic statistics were assigned to Great Britain, the national picture would look much rosier. Currently, however, neither Sarkozy nor rosy economic statistics are in the picture.
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  +
'''Brittany''' is a small piece of [[France]] that is adjacent to [[Britain]], if one ignores the daunting body of water between them. The name, whose literal meaning is "Little Britain," was an ingenious plot of the French administration to make people think that Brittany ''is'' actually Great Britain. If Brittany's economic statistics were assigned to Great Britain, the national picture would look much rosier. Currently, however, neither Sarkozy nor rosy economic statistics are in the picture.
   
 
Though some residents of Brittany consider it a [[nation]], the true role of Brittany is to make France seem like a nation, by having a [[Wales]]-ish part as real nations like Great Britain do.
 
Though some residents of Brittany consider it a [[nation]], the true role of Brittany is to make France seem like a nation, by having a [[Wales]]-ish part as real nations like Great Britain do.
   
There are several theories about the purpose of its creation and the most common one amongst the foreigners (everyone who has does not know a word of French and has never visited the country, others are French by definition) says that the region was originally meant to be the film studio for the TV show "[[UnScripts:Little Britain (Rejections)|Little Britain]]" which was supposed to mock the [[British people]]. But when the government realized that the same show with the same concept and title (a coincidence) was produced in [[Great Britain]], they had to forget about their dream. The only evidence that proves the theory to be right is the fact that Brittany is sometimes being referred to as "Little Britain".
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The most common theory amongst the (British) foreigners about the creation of Brittany is that the region was originally meant to be the film studio for the TV show "[[UnScripts:Little Britain (Rejections)|Little Britain]]" supposed to mock the [[British people]]. But when the government realized that the same show with the same concept and title was produced in [[Great Britain]], it abandoned this notion. The only evidence supporting the theory is the fact that Brittany is sometimes referred to as "Little Britain".
   
Surprisingly, the French have another theory but which does not have an access outdoors and only the véritables français know about it (see ''History'').
+
As a typical French region, throughout the history, Brittany has acquired its own specific cuisine, wine, cheese, language and a share of incomprehensible accents.
   
 
==Etymology==
 
==Etymology==
 
{{Wikipedia}}
 
{{Wikipedia}}
The word "Brittany" comes from the name of one of the British tribes: the Britons, who emigrated to Brittany from Great Britain (for economical reasons). In Breton (the regional language), Brittany is called Breizh. The French often refer to impossible tasks by saying they will "be a Breizh."
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The word "Brittany" comes from the name of one of the British tribes: the Britons, who emigrated to this place from Great Britain (for economical reasons). In Breton (the regional language), Brittany is called Breizh. The French often refer to impossible tasks by saying they will "be a Breizh."
   
 
Brittany had various names in the past: The Romans called it Armorica (close to the army); the ancient [[Wales|Welsh]] called it '''Llwydaw''' ("spoon comes"). Even now, the Britons swarm around army bases and soup kitchens, and shun the use of eating utensils. If we ignore the double L with which many [[Welsh language|Welsh]] words begin, the region's name might have been '''Wydaw''' ("egg comes"). Only, the egg has not.
 
Brittany had various names in the past: The Romans called it Armorica (close to the army); the ancient [[Wales|Welsh]] called it '''Llwydaw''' ("spoon comes"). Even now, the Britons swarm around army bases and soup kitchens, and shun the use of eating utensils. If we ignore the double L with which many [[Welsh language|Welsh]] words begin, the region's name might have been '''Wydaw''' ("egg comes"). Only, the egg has not.
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==Culture==
 
==Culture==
 
===<s>National</s> symbols===
 
===<s>National</s> symbols===
The main symbol of Brittany is its flag. Its name in Breton is Gwen-ha-du (black and white) and it is proof that the region existed before the world got colorful. The [[windmills]] at the upper left corner of Brittany's flag (and all over its coat-of-arms prove that the region was progressive before the world got [[Global warming|green]]. Historians claim these symbols represent [[furry|ermine]]. These would be the same ones that named [[Michigan]] the "Wolverine State" even though, in both cases, there have never been any such animals in the area. The colours of the flag represent sureendering and depression (something the real Britons have experienced before and after the French domination). The nationalist movements interprete this national symbol a bit differently, claiming that the black stands for the hatred of immigrants in the area. After hearing that, the governemnt decided to educate the population.
+
The main symbol of Brittany is its flag. Its name in Breton is Gwen-ha-du (black and white) and it is proof that the region existed before the world got colorful. The [[windmills]] at the upper left corner of Brittany's flag (and all over its coat-of-arms) prove that the region was progressive before the world got [[Global warming|green]]. Historians claim these symbols represent [[furry|ermine]]. These would be the same ones that named [[Michigan]] the "Wolverine State" even though, in both cases, there have never been any such animals in the area. The colours of the flag represent sureendering and depression (something the real Britons have experienced before and after the French domination). The nationalist movements interprete this national symbol a bit differently, claiming that the black stands for the hatred of immigrants in the area. After hearing that, the governemnt decided to educate the population.
   
 
Before, 1960s Gwen-ha-du was banned as a [[Separation Issues|separatist]] symbol and was banned. Later, the authorities' suspicions disappeared, as they never found evidence of [[terrorism]] in Brittany, apart from restaurant kitchens. The flag is now flown everywhere, even in Brittany's Town Halls, to show that Brittany is proudly French (until the moment the national government should look in another direction).
 
Before, 1960s Gwen-ha-du was banned as a [[Separation Issues|separatist]] symbol and was banned. Later, the authorities' suspicions disappeared, as they never found evidence of [[terrorism]] in Brittany, apart from restaurant kitchens. The flag is now flown everywhere, even in Brittany's Town Halls, to show that Brittany is proudly French (until the moment the national government should look in another direction).
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Bretagne serves as a gateway between England and France. On that note, the people of Bretagne have a slightly different idea of good food. Instead of the previously ridiculed fish and chips, and in place of [[tea]] and crumpets, the people of Bretagne drink cider, mead, “apple eau de vie”, whiskey and beer. They eat gallettes (which the ignorant French sometimes call "crêpes") and dead marine animals (pictured).
 
Bretagne serves as a gateway between England and France. On that note, the people of Bretagne have a slightly different idea of good food. Instead of the previously ridiculed fish and chips, and in place of [[tea]] and crumpets, the people of Bretagne drink cider, mead, “apple eau de vie”, whiskey and beer. They eat gallettes (which the ignorant French sometimes call "crêpes") and dead marine animals (pictured).
   
[[File:Galette-bretonne.jpg|thumb|left|180px|French cuisine is somehow different form the Briton one.]]
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[[File:Galette-bretonne.jpg|thumb|left|180px|The "little" French cuisine.]]
The French decided to make something similar to galettes but, not having much [[imagination]], just decided to make them smaller. They can be now found in all the French shops and they are called "Briton galettes" (pictured).
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The French decided to make something similar to galettes but, not having much [[imagination]], just decided to make them smaller. They can be now found in all the French shops and they are called "Breton galettes" (pictured).
   
 
==History==
 
==History==
[[File:Amoco Cadiz oil spill.jpg|thumb|right|200px|One of the perfect examples of the Breton realist movement. This picture illustrates the most significant event of the Breton history that formed the self-identity of Brittany as a nation.]]
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[[File:Amoco Cadiz 1 edit1.jpg|thumb|right|200px|A famous example of the Briton realist movement. The event depicted in the picture had significant effects on Breton culture and ecology.]]
Prehistory was the only historical period when France did not own Brittany (politically or morally). This was the Golden Age of Britons which they missed, as they did not exist at that moment. [[Neanderthal|Neanderthals]] lived in this region and enjoyed fertile grounds, <s>not very</s> mild climate and the absence of any enemies. This is why they did not notice that a lot of [[Homo Sapien|homo sapiens]] came and so the Neanderthals were exterminated. Homo sapiens settled in the region as they could not find any good places to live and began developing local industries which became even more developed in the Middle Ages.
+
Prehistory was the only historical period when France did not own Brittany (politically or morally). This was the Golden Age of Britons which they missed, as they did not exist at that moment. [[Neanderthal|Neanderthals]] lived in this region and enjoyed fertile grounds, <s>not very</s> mild climate and the absence of any enemies. This is why they did not notice that a lot of homo sapiens came and so the Neanderthals were exterminated. Homo sapiens settled in the region as they could not find any good places to live and began developing local industries which became even more developed in the Middle Ages.
   
 
During the [[Ancient Romans|Ancient Times]], the whole region was [[owned]] by the [[Roman Empire]]. However, one village did not succumbe to the enemies because the villagers have got superhuman powers. [[Caesar|Caesar's]] vengeance was terrible: not being able to conquer the village, he did not report its existence to any authorities and since that moment the village itself has become a legend. However, Britons know for sure that the two main villagers were called Asterix and Obelix.
 
During the [[Ancient Romans|Ancient Times]], the whole region was [[owned]] by the [[Roman Empire]]. However, one village did not succumbe to the enemies because the villagers have got superhuman powers. [[Caesar|Caesar's]] vengeance was terrible: not being able to conquer the village, he did not report its existence to any authorities and since that moment the village itself has become a legend. However, Britons know for sure that the two main villagers were called Asterix and Obelix.
   
After that France has always relied on Brittany as on the region which can be confused with Great Britain (in order to attract more tourists and to ruin Britain's reputation): the proof of that is the name of this region in French - Bretagne - compared to how French people call Great Britain (Grande-Bretagne). However, this plan has never worked because Brittany is separated from France's enemy by the sea and so tourists who fly to Britain can in no way land in France (except for an [[emergency]]; but in that case they will know they are not where they wanted to be).
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After that France has always relied on Brittany as on the region which could be confused with Great Britain: consider the name of this region in French - Bretagne - and the way the French people call Great Britain (Grande-Bretagne). However, the cunning plan to attract more tourists, originally going to the British Isles and to ruin the popularity of France's worst enemy, cunningly failed, as tourists who fly to Britain can in no way land in France (except for an [[emergency]]; but in that case they will know they are not where they wanted to be).
   
After the Mad War, when the French government has found this out, they have organized a union with Brittany. Since that moment it was promoted as a dependent region, but with its own national symbols, language, cheese and culture.
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After the Mad War, when the French government has found this out and went mad at its own people, they have organized a union with Brittany. Since that moment it was promoted as a dependent region, but with its own national symbols, language, cheese and culture.
   
French Emperors thought that after long years of being separate, Brittany would prefer to struggle, so after [[French Revolution|the 1789 revolution]], the region was divided into 5 parts and later into 9, so their alliance would be harder.
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Still, Brittany's rebellious spirit was not yet extinguished, and, thus, after [[French Revolution|the 1789 revolution]], the region was divided into 5 parts and later into 9, to make impossible Brittany's uprise.
   
From 15th to 19th century, Brittany's economy reached its Golden Age because different industries were well developed. However, during the Renaissance (in Brittany it took place later than in the rest of Europe), they were abandoned as many other medieval activities and [[Pride and Prejudice|prejudices]], so Brittany returned to agriculture and fishing. <ref>These are now the most practiced activities in the region.</ref>
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From the 15th up to the 19th century, Brittany was experiencing its economical Golden Age due ton the development of many industries. But Breton [[Renaissance]] coming late, as most of the Breton things, it annihilated the medieval achievements of the region and reverted Brittany to the Stone Age. The most prominent activities in the region are now fishing and agriculture.
   
At that time Brittany was still located on the seaways between [[Spain]], [[England]] and the [[Netherlands]] but was later moved closer to the French Empire. After different protests, Brittany was abolished until the 20th century. Then [[Charles de Gaulle]] decided that Britons were punished enough and resurrected the region. However, this gave birth to different [[nationalist]] movements. [[Sarkozy]] was about to ban Brittany again but [[Francois Hollande]] took his place.
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Towards the end of 19th century, Brittany was still located on the seaways between [[Spain]], [[England]] and the [[Netherlands]] but was later moved closer to the French Empire. Numerous bloody protests earned the place a very negative reputation and encouraged its abolishment by the administration. It was not resurrected till [[Charles de Gaulle|de Gaulle's]] "generous" government. Equally generous Britons responded with more bloody protests and [[nationalist]] movements.
   
As not many things take place in Brittany, <ref>Opposite to [[Normandy]], a region attracting [[Battle of Normandy|all the conflicts]].</ref> the most imortant events of the 20th century, were the Amoco Codiz and the Erika [[oil]] spill. They deeply marked Breton people and became a subject of Breton [[reality|realist]] art movement.
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In the 20th century, however, the region's population fell into apathy and since that moment, Brittany was only responsible for the Amoco Codiz and the Erika [[oil]] spills. They were somewhat deeply marking for the Britons and soon enough became subjects of the region's [[reality|realist]] art movement.
   
 
==Government==
 
==Government==
 
===Political tendencies===
 
===Political tendencies===
The strongest political parties in Brittany are [[communist]] and [[socialist]]. But, as Britons never reveal their secrets, since the end of the [[Second World War]] have been trying to find out whether Britons have cooperated with [[Soviet]] [[spy|spies]] or not.
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The strongest political parties in Brittany are [[communist]] and [[socialist]]. But, as Britons' silence is proverbial, the French secret services have been trying to find out the relationship between Breton nationalists and spies from [[USSR]], since the end of the [[Second World War]].
   
Despite that, Brittany has a very strong [[Catholic]] and [[Conservative]] influence. <ref>[[Communism]] exists for a long time and can be considered to be a part of the [[Conservative Party|Conservative ideology]].</ref>
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Despite that, Brittany has a very strong [[Catholic]] and [[Conservative]] influence. It can be explained by the fact that many Britons mistake communism for a part of the Conservative ideology, it being an old philosophy.
   
 
===Union Démocratique Bretonne===
 
===Union Démocratique Bretonne===
This UDB was founded in 1964 by fifteen young people (as the majority of terrorist groups) influenced by [[socialist]] ideas. Its strict internal discipline does not allow its members to go against the party and so none of the plans of the UDB have been revealed. As not much happens in Brittany, the French authorities have concluded that the Briton [[terrorism|terrorists]] are not very successful.
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This Union Démocratique Bretonne, the most prominent nationalist movement so far, was founded in 1964 by fifteen young people, too influenced by [[socialist]] ideas. Its strict internal discipline makes it very difficult for outsiders to know anything about its structure, evolution or methods. Nevertheless, seeing the lack of events in the region of Brittany, it is safe to presume that the ''Union'' has not yet created its own agenda.
   
However, amongst the achievements of the UDB is the fact that the [[EU|European Union]] was created, although Britons wanted a Federation, not a Union. Also, the movement supports colonialism even though the colonies of Brittany are not very famous.
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The UDB did achieve several things, however, such as the creation of the [[EU]], although Britons wanted a Federation, not a Union. The movement is also in vehement support of Briton colonialism even though the colonies of Brittany are not very [[Wales|large]] or [[Normandy|famous]].
   
Since 1964 the Union Démocratique Bretonne has met three periods of crisis and one of success. Right now it is experiencing growth and so France is becoming more and more afraid of Brittany and is less and less willing to allow its reunification with other regions.
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==Economy==
  +
As mentioned above, one of the two most popular activities in the region is fishing.
   
==Geography==
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However, it differs from what the rest of the world calls "fishing" and is, in reality, a mean to boost the country's economy. The Britons start by catching a [[US Marines|marine animal]]. Once it cannot escape, however, it is not killed but brought to the fisherman's private fish farm and properly raised. This procedure is justified by Breton government's beliefs that, in near future, we will find a way to produce energy using fish.
===Climate and landscape===
 
Even the eldest people in Brittany do not remember the times when the blue sky could be seen there. The region's climate has had a major influence on people's mood (they are always cheerful) and it has caused a great immigration from [[Normandy]] when the Normans found out that Brittany existed. This is the reason of all the conflicts between the two regions.
 
   
Much of the interior of the land occupied by the two million, eight hundred fifteen thousand and nine hundred people living in Bretagne is also occupied by a plateau called Argoat. The word 'Argoat' in reality means “country of the woods”. The plateau has a maximum height of roughly 245 meters (800 feet), with two exceptions, being [[wood|woodland]] ridges.
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It goes without saying that this would be of a great benefit to the economy of the region, as Brittany could provide its energy to energy-less rest of the world for budget. This budget, in turn, would sponsor Brittany's separation from France.
   
===Tourist attractions===
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Unfortunately, for the region, as modern scientist do not even consider fish as a way to make energy, the economy of Brittany is not growing as quickly as expected. The immigration to the region is null, but, then, the unemployment rate is the same. All men and women concentrate on raising fish.
[[File:Brittany menhirs.jpg|thumb|right|280px|This is a typical Briton village... Or town.]]
 
The most important Briton tourist attractions is, of course, the Mont-Saint-Michel. The only problem is that [[Normandy|Normans]] claim it to be theirs. The most visited town is Nantes, however it is also sometimes considered to be Norman.
 
   
[[File:Brittany_house.jpg|thumb|left|180px|One of the best hotels of the region.]]
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Another problem the region is facing is the inability of inexperienced fishermen to differentiate fish from non-fish, or even animals from non-animals. The non-fish has to be exported and sold to first-class restaurants in [[Paris]] or [[Lyon]] under the name of "seafood".
Saint-Malo is not a very interesting town but, as [[nobody]] wants to dispute Brittany's ownership of that place, the UDB has begun considering it the region's primary attraction.
 
   
[[Tourist trap|Tourist agencies]] say that the tourism in Brittany is very well developed (pictured) mostly because of its industries: [[agriculture]] and [[fishing]].
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==Geography==
  +
===Climate and landscape===
  +
Even the long-livers with the best memory, cannot remember the time, when Brittany had a clear sky above it. Such climate has had a major influence on people's mood and is responsible for the (zero) immigration Brittany is facing.
   
==Economy==
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Much of the interior land is occupied by the two million, eight hundred fifteen thousand and nine hundred Britons and by a plateau called Argoat. The word "Argoat", surprisingly, has no relation to goats, and means "country of the words" in Breton - something equally irrelevant to Brittany.
Fishing is very popular in Brittany but Britons have a singular way of fishing. They catch a [[US Marines|marine animal]] but do not kill it. On the contrary, they raise all the fish they catch, feed and keep them all in their pond, expecting that in several years there will be a way to produce [[energy]] using fish. Then Brittany will soon be industrialized and will get a lot of budget. The immigrants there will increase and the economy will be a lot better than in the rest of France. Finally, the French government (which will certainly have a lot of problems) will allow Brittany to separate for money.
 
   
However, as right now we cannot make energy using fish farms, the economy of Brittany is not progressing very quickly. There is not much immigration to this region right now it those who know about the plans of the Briton government, begin moving to [[Normandy]] because it is rather close.
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==Tourist attractions==
  +
[[File:Brittany menhirs.jpg|thumb|right|280px|A typical Breton village - or town.]]
  +
The most important Briton tourist attractions is, no doubt, the abbey of Mont-Saint-Michel, well-known because of its inaccessibility during tides. The problem is that [[Normandy|Normans]] claim it to be theirs.
   
The unemployment in this region is also very small because of the reasons mentioned above. All spare men are used to raise fish. The only problem is activity has right now is that sometimes errors occur and inexperienced people fish out [[something else]] except for fish from the water. Then, not to pollute the ocean, this something is named "seafood" and sold to the rest of France
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Brittany's most visited town is Nantes, but it experiences the same issue as the Mont-Saint-Michel.
   
==References==
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[[File:Brittany_house.jpg|thumb|left|180px|A typical Breton hotel.]]
{{Reflist}}
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Saint-Malo is not much compared to other seaside towns, however it is indisputably Briton.
   
 
==See also==
 
==See also==
*[[Britain]]
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*[[Departments of France]]
*[[Great Britain]]
 
*[[France]]
 
 
*[[Normandy]]
 
*[[Normandy]]
  +
  +
[[Category:France]]
  +
  +
{{FA|date=5 October 2013|revision=5724886}}

Latest revision as of 17:34, August 23, 2014

Breizh
New Britain (Less Britain)
France
Brittany flag Brittany coat of arms
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: Better death than dishonor! (In this context, "dishonor" means "belonging to France")
Brittany map
What the French call "Britain".
Capital Breton people claim it to be Rennes, a town best-known for the number of cars torched annually.
Official language(s) Breton (one of the most widely spoken British languages) and French (although everyone denies it)
National Hero(es) Asterix and Obélix
Major exports Galettes, fish and wine
Major imports Cheese

This article is on the region of France. For other uses see Brittany (disambiguation).


Brittany is a small piece of France that is adjacent to Britain, if one ignores the daunting body of water between them. The name, whose literal meaning is "Little Britain," was an ingenious plot of the French administration to make people think that Brittany is actually Great Britain. If Brittany's economic statistics were assigned to Great Britain, the national picture would look much rosier. Currently, however, neither Sarkozy nor rosy economic statistics are in the picture.

Though some residents of Brittany consider it a nation, the true role of Brittany is to make France seem like a nation, by having a Wales-ish part as real nations like Great Britain do.

The most common theory amongst the (British) foreigners about the creation of Brittany is that the region was originally meant to be the film studio for the TV show "Little Britain" supposed to mock the British people. But when the government realized that the same show with the same concept and title was produced in Great Britain, it abandoned this notion. The only evidence supporting the theory is the fact that Brittany is sometimes referred to as "Little Britain".

As a typical French region, throughout the history, Brittany has acquired its own specific cuisine, wine, cheese, language and a share of incomprehensible accents.

edit Etymology

Bouncywikilogo10
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Brittany.

The word "Brittany" comes from the name of one of the British tribes: the Britons, who emigrated to this place from Great Britain (for economical reasons). In Breton (the regional language), Brittany is called Breizh. The French often refer to impossible tasks by saying they will "be a Breizh."

Brittany had various names in the past: The Romans called it Armorica (close to the army); the ancient Welsh called it Llwydaw ("spoon comes"). Even now, the Britons swarm around army bases and soup kitchens, and shun the use of eating utensils. If we ignore the double L with which many Welsh words begin, the region's name might have been Wydaw ("egg comes"). Only, the egg has not.

edit Culture

edit National symbols

The main symbol of Brittany is its flag. Its name in Breton is Gwen-ha-du (black and white) and it is proof that the region existed before the world got colorful. The windmills at the upper left corner of Brittany's flag (and all over its coat-of-arms) prove that the region was progressive before the world got green. Historians claim these symbols represent ermine. These would be the same ones that named Michigan the "Wolverine State" even though, in both cases, there have never been any such animals in the area. The colours of the flag represent sureendering and depression (something the real Britons have experienced before and after the French domination). The nationalist movements interprete this national symbol a bit differently, claiming that the black stands for the hatred of immigrants in the area. After hearing that, the governemnt decided to educate the population.

Before, 1960s Gwen-ha-du was banned as a separatist symbol and was banned. Later, the authorities' suspicions disappeared, as they never found evidence of terrorism in Brittany, apart from restaurant kitchens. The flag is now flown everywhere, even in Brittany's Town Halls, to show that Brittany is proudly French (until the moment the national government should look in another direction).

Other national symbols are menhirs (certainly because Obelix liked to lift them up) and galettes (Briton national food which they eat more often than bread). France tried to pretend that the latter were a French invention (as French think that good food can only be French) but Britons were about to rebel so the idea had to be abandoned. French decided to take revenge and banned the 'BZH' sign which was present on most of the Briton cars.

edit Cuisine

Bretagneboat

A dead marine animal just fished out and waiting to be transported to one of many Breton restaurants.

Bretagne serves as a gateway between England and France. On that note, the people of Bretagne have a slightly different idea of good food. Instead of the previously ridiculed fish and chips, and in place of tea and crumpets, the people of Bretagne drink cider, mead, “apple eau de vie”, whiskey and beer. They eat gallettes (which the ignorant French sometimes call "crêpes") and dead marine animals (pictured).

Galette-bretonne

The "little" French cuisine.

The French decided to make something similar to galettes but, not having much imagination, just decided to make them smaller. They can be now found in all the French shops and they are called "Breton galettes" (pictured).

edit History

File:Amoco Cadiz 1 edit1.jpg

Prehistory was the only historical period when France did not own Brittany (politically or morally). This was the Golden Age of Britons which they missed, as they did not exist at that moment. Neanderthals lived in this region and enjoyed fertile grounds, not very mild climate and the absence of any enemies. This is why they did not notice that a lot of homo sapiens came and so the Neanderthals were exterminated. Homo sapiens settled in the region as they could not find any good places to live and began developing local industries which became even more developed in the Middle Ages.

During the Ancient Times, the whole region was owned by the Roman Empire. However, one village did not succumbe to the enemies because the villagers have got superhuman powers. Caesar's vengeance was terrible: not being able to conquer the village, he did not report its existence to any authorities and since that moment the village itself has become a legend. However, Britons know for sure that the two main villagers were called Asterix and Obelix.

After that France has always relied on Brittany as on the region which could be confused with Great Britain: consider the name of this region in French - Bretagne - and the way the French people call Great Britain (Grande-Bretagne). However, the cunning plan to attract more tourists, originally going to the British Isles and to ruin the popularity of France's worst enemy, cunningly failed, as tourists who fly to Britain can in no way land in France (except for an emergency; but in that case they will know they are not where they wanted to be).

After the Mad War, when the French government has found this out and went mad at its own people, they have organized a union with Brittany. Since that moment it was promoted as a dependent region, but with its own national symbols, language, cheese and culture.

Still, Brittany's rebellious spirit was not yet extinguished, and, thus, after the 1789 revolution, the region was divided into 5 parts and later into 9, to make impossible Brittany's uprise.

From the 15th up to the 19th century, Brittany was experiencing its economical Golden Age due ton the development of many industries. But Breton Renaissance coming late, as most of the Breton things, it annihilated the medieval achievements of the region and reverted Brittany to the Stone Age. The most prominent activities in the region are now fishing and agriculture.

Towards the end of 19th century, Brittany was still located on the seaways between Spain, England and the Netherlands but was later moved closer to the French Empire. Numerous bloody protests earned the place a very negative reputation and encouraged its abolishment by the administration. It was not resurrected till de Gaulle's "generous" government. Equally generous Britons responded with more bloody protests and nationalist movements.

In the 20th century, however, the region's population fell into apathy and since that moment, Brittany was only responsible for the Amoco Codiz and the Erika oil spills. They were somewhat deeply marking for the Britons and soon enough became subjects of the region's realist art movement.

edit Government

edit Political tendencies

The strongest political parties in Brittany are communist and socialist. But, as Britons' silence is proverbial, the French secret services have been trying to find out the relationship between Breton nationalists and spies from USSR, since the end of the Second World War.

Despite that, Brittany has a very strong Catholic and Conservative influence. It can be explained by the fact that many Britons mistake communism for a part of the Conservative ideology, it being an old philosophy.

edit Union Démocratique Bretonne

This Union Démocratique Bretonne, the most prominent nationalist movement so far, was founded in 1964 by fifteen young people, too influenced by socialist ideas. Its strict internal discipline makes it very difficult for outsiders to know anything about its structure, evolution or methods. Nevertheless, seeing the lack of events in the region of Brittany, it is safe to presume that the Union has not yet created its own agenda.

The UDB did achieve several things, however, such as the creation of the EU, although Britons wanted a Federation, not a Union. The movement is also in vehement support of Briton colonialism even though the colonies of Brittany are not very large or famous.

edit Economy

As mentioned above, one of the two most popular activities in the region is fishing.

However, it differs from what the rest of the world calls "fishing" and is, in reality, a mean to boost the country's economy. The Britons start by catching a marine animal. Once it cannot escape, however, it is not killed but brought to the fisherman's private fish farm and properly raised. This procedure is justified by Breton government's beliefs that, in near future, we will find a way to produce energy using fish.

It goes without saying that this would be of a great benefit to the economy of the region, as Brittany could provide its energy to energy-less rest of the world for budget. This budget, in turn, would sponsor Brittany's separation from France.

Unfortunately, for the region, as modern scientist do not even consider fish as a way to make energy, the economy of Brittany is not growing as quickly as expected. The immigration to the region is null, but, then, the unemployment rate is the same. All men and women concentrate on raising fish.

Another problem the region is facing is the inability of inexperienced fishermen to differentiate fish from non-fish, or even animals from non-animals. The non-fish has to be exported and sold to first-class restaurants in Paris or Lyon under the name of "seafood".

edit Geography

edit Climate and landscape

Even the long-livers with the best memory, cannot remember the time, when Brittany had a clear sky above it. Such climate has had a major influence on people's mood and is responsible for the (zero) immigration Brittany is facing.

Much of the interior land is occupied by the two million, eight hundred fifteen thousand and nine hundred Britons and by a plateau called Argoat. The word "Argoat", surprisingly, has no relation to goats, and means "country of the words" in Breton - something equally irrelevant to Brittany.

edit Tourist attractions

Brittany menhirs

A typical Breton village - or town.

The most important Briton tourist attractions is, no doubt, the abbey of Mont-Saint-Michel, well-known because of its inaccessibility during tides. The problem is that Normans claim it to be theirs.

Brittany's most visited town is Nantes, but it experiences the same issue as the Mont-Saint-Michel.

Brittany house

A typical Breton hotel.

Saint-Malo is not much compared to other seaside towns, however it is indisputably Briton.

edit See also

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