British Multinationalist Party
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The British Multinationalist Party (BMP) is a centralist to left-wing liberalist political party in the United Kingdom, originally formed out of the earlier British International Front (BIF). The party's current chairman is Nick Dragon (described in the Daily Mail as the Thinking Woman's Nigel Farage), himself a former International Front member.
According to its constitution, the BMP is "committed to increasing the tide of non-white immigration and to restoring, by legal changes, negotiation and consent the bastardisation of the British population that has existed in Britain since pre-Roman times." To some UKIP has superseded them as the party that represents the views of the common, hardworking man in the street. Which street remains a mystery.
The primary goal of the British Multinationalist Party is the agenda of forced racial, religious and cultural integration, in an effort to take political correctness to its logical conclusion. Most of the policies within the party's constitution revolve around this goal. With careful planning they believe that despite current demographic trends, the native British people, can be made into an ethnic minority within the next sixty years. To ensure that this happens as smoothly as possible, efforts will be enforced enabling the indigenous British stock to lose their identity, whilst calling for a tenfold increase for further immigration, and lax new laws that will help to integrate criminal and illegal immigrants much faster.
edit Key Policy Areas
Business: Adhering to EU Legislation the UK will only recruit Polish and Latvian plumbers, Italian builders, and Chinese fruit-pickers, whilst selling off our major industries to the highest bidder in Japan.
Law and Order: A number of new policies dealing with crime and punishment will include the reinstatement of capital punishment for a number of key misdemeanours including but not limited to "eating of tea and scones, especially those with jam and fresh cream", the "wearing of Union Jack underwear", "speaking in regional accents, including Cockney, Geordie and Lancastrian".
Immigration: A huge amount of money will be saved for the British Taxpayer by removing all immigration checks at airports and ports, creating an "open door" policy for border controls. Funding will be diverted to establishments run by Butlins and Pontins around the nation to provide short term accommodation ahead of relocation.
Welfare and Housing: In order to help transform inner cities, new underclass ghettos will be created as a place to inspire a peaceful dilution of the indigenous population. A substantial amount of money may be saved by moving in several generations of the same family into a single property.
edit Foundation and Early Years
The party was formed in the mid-1980s when it was felt by the party founders that the Conservative Government under Margaret Thatcher wasn't doing enough to alienate Middle England, focusing instead on attacking working class oiks in coalmining villages in the north. "Maggie was doing a great job at breaking up the flatcap and whippet brigade as well as the trade unions, but nothing was done to break up the establishment of the middle classes. In the early years that became our primary focus," said Cambridge Graduate and one of the founders of the BMP Nick Dragon.
Despite opposition from a small minority of rightwing nutjobs within the UK, the policies of the BMP quickly found support amongst the genteel, well mannered folks of Great Britain, known for their politeness and queueing skills. The accommodating people of Middle England were quickly branded with an amusing new title from the media - "IMBies" from the expression "in my backyard", a reference to the friendly approach many have to visiting travellers.
edit Electoral Success
In light of the disclosure of the many failings of British-born Members of Parliament, and resultant voter apathy fallout, it was postulated by the media and commentators that the BMP could do well in the polls during the 2009 European Elections held in the May of that year, as voters sought an alternative party to register their protest. The election was hotly contested with rightwing nutters such as the Conservative Party and UKIP accusing the BMP of selling England by the pound. Perennial electoral also-rans such as the Liberal Party and the Greens, fearing losing the few votes they had also rounded on the BMP. NuLabour were mostly too busy self-destructing to even notice there was an election however.
Voting numbers were much reduced, in some places as low as 10% of the local population bothered to make the walk to their nearest school to place their X, and so many people expected to see unusual results. As the results came in the press and media were shocked to announce two significant victories for the party, with the BMP taking two European seats, representing the multicultural metropolis of Burnley, whilst the cosmopolitan Manchester, hoping to shrug off the image of a miserable, wet, northern shitehole, embraced the message of international brotherly love as embodied by the BMP, voted in Nick Dragon himself.
The Daily Mail announced the victory as "not what my grandaddy bombed Dresden for", whilst the Israeli backed BBC declared it to be "the most significant victory of our time, and one that demonstrates that the people of Britain want to live side by side with their neighbours, no matter their colour, race or creed."
edit Controversy and Criticism
The major political opponents of the BMP have hit out at a number of their tactics they believe the party utilise in an effort to gain public support and office. In 2007 the party paid for overseas holidays for disaffected white youths in Southend on Sea, Essex, which was met with almost universe acclaim from the country's media. Following their success particularly within the 2010 Local Elections, their majority council in Bradford, Yorkshire became the first in Britain to adopt Sharia Law, resulting in a thunderous clank of applause from the assembled delegates.
In 2010 Party Members voted in by a 3/5th majority a proposal to build a dividing wall stretching east/west across England, located north of the Watford Gap, creating a southern gulag for undesirables.