British
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British \Brɪ'ti:ʃ\, a. Variant of brutish. A lesser spotted type of person(s) found situated on a small island off the coast of Europe. The British people are known round the world as a tea drinking, French hating society, however, there is more to British society than first meet the eye (or the ear, or the foot). The British are believed to have first arrived on their small Island by way of Dover and the P&O ferry service bringing "cheep booze and fags" over from their hated enemy, the French.
Though the term British should technically be used to refer to the real Britons, the Welsh, the term is generally used by Americans to refer to the English or all the inhabitants of the British Isle except the Scots, Welsh and Irish. The Cornish are also real Britons but most Americans are unaware of their existence. Nowadays most of the real Britons of the British Isles are calle taffies or simply Scummies (from the Welsh term Cymraeg, pronounced Cum-Rag but Anglicized as Scum).
[edit] Diet
The British tend to eat more lamb feet and walrus hooves than Americans. However, the obesity of the UK is increasing at an acute percentage faster than the % of those fat bastard Americans, probably because they're already obese and so the rate can't go much higher. If such common fast food restaurants, such as KFC and McDonalds, hadn't been created by those disgusting people, the British people wouldn't even have a percentage increase in obesity. The typical diet of the British is balanced, receiving all vital nutrients and minerals to keep us healthy. The British do occasionally drink beer and lager, sometimes vigorously, but mainly sensibly due to the large tax placed on each cold and delicious Pint. "Pint" being unknown to the rest of the world, converting to the stranger metric litre. British people also tend to have poor teeth, and to this day remain very sore about the loss of the colonies they used to have when they ruled the world. However they hope that one day in the future ,whenever it may be, the British will get them back, at which time the whole world shall will be faced with a dry sense of humour and tea drinking
The British also invented "warm beer", a concoction made from a concentration of various strange plants and the colour brown. There is no tax on this, as no-one is mad enough to drink the stuff. Really, it's horrible.
[edit] Social Structure
The British have a social structure in which a number of all female 'workers' maintain their country under the rule of the Queen. The appearance of two sexes has been created for the purpose of entertaining each other and to maintain the fashion industry, and to draw attention away from their violent disposition.
Female workers are broken into three separate types; "workers", "leaders", and "rulers" (see amazons). Though differing somewhat throughout the species, the hive structure remains relatively the same throughout the world.
Teenage sociology in Britain is complex and ruled by Prince Harry the Druggy.
[edit] Population Distribution
The British no longer inhabit Britain, as they all emigrated to such cultural bastions as Los Angeles, Melbourne and Spanish cities. These cities have vibrant British communities, each with their own "Londontown" district in which traditional cuisine is served, football hooliganism is practised, the weather is complained about and ale is quaffed. Britain was taken over in the 80s by a new people called chavs coming from a former colony, Manchestershire.
The Spanish community of British people flourishes. In Spain the British appear as bright red sun-burnt, fat bellied, tourists with stripy red and blue shirts and shorts and an idiot hat placed upon their head. They can also be easily identified by their familiar cry of "Whatchoo mean there's no fucking chips?". Ironically more British are in Spain than in Britain itself, the Spanish government has thus forced all British to move south into Gibraltar, Ibiza and Maldives. Ironically the British complain about immigrants to their country on a regular basis.
[edit] Bitchiness
Please note the following statement was written by possibly the most retarded of Americans. Only an uneducated moron would write something like this, so please do not judge all Americans from the idiotic rantings of a gang rape victim. <OK>
'The British people are considered one of the most bitchiest types of people ever mainly because they are jealous and intimidated by America so they go on the Internet and talk trash of this and if you have read this page the only thing they have to say are that were fat, but in fact they have bad teeth and everytime we go to war they go with us but we always do a much better job then them and the world points fingers at us because America is much bigger and better and its called humor and color and Pink floyd was on our side so grow some and stop bitching or I'll be back but this time I'll be in your house... This above statement, written by an American, is not only the longest sentence ever, but in fact a prime example of why Britain dislikes America. (Who started this war?) A quote from an American on the subject of jealousy, which also gives a prime example of how uselessly incompetent Americans are with grammar.
"The germans did." An educated briton. Quick question anyway. When did the americans actually "help us out" in WW2?
Answer. When they got attacked! Thus showing that the americans are selfish, when we galantly march right into Iraq to help out the fricking USofA. (United my arse)
Answer #2 : "Help us out" should read: "Helped themselves to the spoils of war coming in at the end after we had bankrupted ourselves helping the ungrateful French for the last time and then ensuring that France, Germany and Japan started rebuilding themselves from nothing in 1946 while we started with a F-off debt to America which we only managed to pay back plus tons of interest in 2007 ensuring the end of Britain as a global power (someone PLEASE tell Gordon Brown), that we have been playing catchup ever since and the ascention of America (Britain's delinquent teenage son) to the role of World Police (yee har) while wagging us like a dog's tail still bleating on about the special relationship whereby they come round to borrow our stuff without giving it back and never phone until they have really had enough of us complaining about 'young countries today' and pack us off to the old countries' home". Now how's that for a long sentence. This is the bitter and cynical section isn't it?
The extremer side of Brit VS Germs are when they flock to spain in the summer, and they get up extra early to put thier Ben Sherman beach towels on the sun chairs by the poolside before the other country does so, the more chairs covered with union jack towels the more we prove that the Brits are better than the Germans. Cause, that's logic. (This is practised by the working class cheapos who go on package holidays to benidorm and voted for the BNP this election... commonly refered to as the sub species of human, Genus Chavus or Chav.)
[edit] Language
Every currently living variation/screwed-up-version of the English language is little more than an incoherent mishmash of nearly every language known to man. The first people to shove together the most confusing and unrelated parts of Latin, German, Russian, French, and any other language they could get their hands on and attempt to use this inane hodgepodge to convey information were the British. (As an aside, most differences between British and American English were invented by Teddy Roosevelt in a futile effort to make the language make more sense. He only succeeded in creating another large well of insults for Britons to throw at Americans.)
The British language is spoken in Britain and British Columbia. It's the truest form of English as God intended the language to be, unlike American "English" which is just a poor bastardisation[1]used by those who are illiterate and those who suffer from chronic bouts of stupidity, which sums up the states that voted for George W. Bush (i.e. Dumbfuckistan) quite well.(Nice clarification) British characters in films are usually played by Americans trying to imitate the superior British accents but who fail miserably, like Germany in two world wars and one world cup - all of which were well on the way to being won by the British before the arrival of Britain's unruly lovechild, the United States. The British people are also widely known for brutally attacking Americans and giving false directions to loud-mouth tosspot American tourists and sending them down the nearest council estate, where a 100% chance of being stabbed awaits them. What the British fail to realise is that as most American men are still in possession of their pre-pubescent testicles also they lack brain power, and they're just angry all their women like british guys, even the ones with bad teeth. (unlike their pussy British counterparts), and thusly are not too bothered about a bunch of little white kids with 2-inch plastic knives as people carry GUNS in America (yes "lucky" you, you get to kill each other faster, its worth mentioning that in Britian, we dont need guns, we can insert bullets manually) and are relatively used to that. It should be noted that The Southmead Council Estate in Bristol has dispatched so many American tourists that the whole area has been internationally condemned for war crimes. This move is widely seen as political correctness gone mad.
Britain is one of the few countrys with ball. (What, only one?) During World War 2 they jumped right in unlike the americans who waited till the end and stole all the glory.
There are many areas of Britain where spoken language has been completely replaced by pointing and grunting. Many people from 'Other Nations' may consider this is a retrograde step. It is however a highly efficient manner of communication and is entirely suitable for the moronic lifestyles adopted by these utter plebs, known around the world as chavs.
We Brits maybe easily pissed off, but we don't have pot bellies and crooked teeth! Plus, for our interbred[2] American cousins, originating from the homosexual loving Mormons, Walrus don't have hooves! (Says who?) Brits used to own one third of the world. and if we wanted to, we could take it back.[3] (No thanks) We are more united than America (pathetic country), richer than cuba (pathetically poor country) and more populated than Canada (pathetic, poor, and depressingly empty country). RULE BRITANIA!
Unlike the lazy semen-basted American version of English, which relies more on context, thoughtfulness, and actual meaning, the far superior British version is filled with archaic variations of normal words such as "whilst" and fucking "wonky". British English words are like the retarded slobbering cousins of American English words. And you can slap that on a fucking trolly and wank down to fucking bollocks (LOL! They say ballocks (erm, "bollocks," and they totally say that in America) boulevard you fucking tit. faggot
The british section of people in northern ireland also have funny accents that make the sound like a demented version of the leprachan in the lucky charm commercials.
There are a few things wrong with the above sentence. Let's discuss. Aside from humor, this sentence is also lacking proper grammar in a couple of areas. First, "British people also have funny accents THAT make the[sic] sound..." should actually be "British people also have funny accents WHICH make the[sic] sound..." and so on. "Demented version" should be pluralized... that would be "demented versions". "Leprechaun" is misspelled. There is no such cereal called "lucky charm"... If you are referring to Lucky Charms, you need to add an "S", that's the squiggly letter, and capitalize the first letter of each word (to capitalize means to make bigger, basically). Also, please do not misuse the term "demented". For something or someone to be a "demented version" of something or someone else, some sort of cognitive decay, or dementia, would need to occur. This cognitive decay is found predominantly in the elderly community, and more accurately in Alzheimer's sufferers. "Demented" is not the same thing as "crazy" or "bizarre". So, in review. Less is generally more, in terms of humor (humour).
OK, discuss you said, discuss we shall. Agreed, it's a shocking sentence (see damning review of English taught in English schools below). It is just possible that anyone who knows what a Lucky Charms commercial is might raise a titter at this statement but we don't. 'THAT' refers to the previous one thing, "WHICH" is plural, spot on mate. Leprechaun is misspelled or misspelt. Demented, perhaps, is meant to refer to a poor soul who has already suffered from a very unpleasant degenerative disease leaving them unable to think or speak properly. This condition is most noticeable in British ex-English teachers who have been retrained in Polish. So the sentence should read : The British section of people in Northern Ireland(Orange people from drinking too much Tango) also have funny accents which make a sound like a demented version of the leprechaun in the Lucky Charms commercials.
Did you like what I did there? Corrected the English AND added some homouor (transatlantic spelling). I think I'm getting the hang of this.
PS If the author of that statement can't tell the difference between the British Northern Irish(orange people) and Leprechauns(green people)then I seriously recommend that he never goes there.
It is a consequence of the British education authorities' efforts to support 57 foreign languages in British schools that the inevitable has happened. English has been dropped as a formal subject which is why no one can speak or write their own language now, making such childish mistakes as confusing there, they're and their. The only people who can write and speak English correctly are: A) People aged over 70, B) Dutch and German people who have studied English As A Foreign Language (but not from American teachers)and C) English people who have studied English As A Foreign Language (but not from American teachers)
Clearly Government support of foreign languages does not extend to Welsh, Gaelic or Irish as that would break the law stating that we should beat ourselves up at every opportunity lest we offend any of the immigrant communities with our Britishness and patriotism. Patriotism was made illegal in 2008 during the Labour Government's great "leave the front door wide open and go whoring ourselves around the world while pretending we are still a world power, ignoring all problems at home and the fact that the other 5 billion people moving here all at once might cause a few issues" policy.
- OR, HOW ABOUT; There's no such thing as the British accent. Unless you live in the UK, you probably have no idea how many variants there are, you twat. "The English accent is so handsome in a man... *blah blah talks more shit.*" Which English accent, you wouldn't want a scouse serenading you. "Chh'mon chich I'll take yus doon the poob."
Scarily, in the same way that some people might think that Europe is a country where all the people are the same, those same people think that all Briddish(sic) people speak the same. This term was popularised in Friends where Rachel asks Ross "OMG are you speaking Briddish". Briddish is a Hollywood language (see Hollywood Germans) and an irritating, stumbling, bumbling noise invented by Hugh Grant in Four Wed... err Notting H... er, well all of his films really where he teaches the whole world that Briddish men are inept bumbling ex-public school idiots who can't make a decision to save their lives and are incapable of saying to women "look, to cut a long story short, do you want a shag or what?"
In reality, there is only one English, which however is not (<--- hilarious addition by a non-English person) that spoken by English people living in England. Anything else is foreign slang e.g. Jamaican English slang, Australian English slang, Papa New Guinea English slang and lastly American English slang. English English (NOT Briddish English because Scots and Welsh are Briddish but are definitely not English, ask them) is a variety of regional accents meaning that people from Newcastle, Wolverhampton and Bristol can only communicate with subtitles.
[edit] Humour??? 0_o (smoke a fag )
The british have been pround of the joke stealing and shall steal jokes from david letterman. The British have also made the bashing of people from the United States a popular pastime. It started after they were beat into oblivion by an-entire-country-turned-colonial-rebel army, even though half of the country was on Britains side (and a massive French army,spanish army and dutch army but shush........).It's amazing just how badly such a strong country (which was 4 months travel away oops shush dont tell any one that....) got beat by a bunch of farmers, and now Britain is just a little island which Hawaii could beat. They began to feel insecure about themselves especially having been the world power at the time and they changed their accents to what is now named British English. They also decided to attack the people who hurt their feelings. See United States of America for a good laugh." AAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.......Please stop this iliterate crap! Please! Please! The French were blockading The Brithish navy from supplying re-inforcements, neither the Dutch nor the Spanish fought with us. Please spend more time reading at one of your adult daycare centres instead of leaving you crackpot scrawl all over the internet.
“We can't smile. We are British!”:
~ Her Majesty on British smileBy the vile traitor, Ricky Gervais, who has been exiled from Britain for inflicting the U.S. version of "The Office" upon the world.
[edit] American-British Communication
"You may have heard a Brit talking once or twice, and mistook it for a vulture with a lung impalement or a walrus during mating season. You may find yourself at a party when a Brit enters the room - someone naively asks 'where's the pile of crumpets?' and you, embarrassingly, are the last to say 'in the pub! Pip pip cheerio and all that'.
A Brit's presence can be detected within a quarter-mile radius, and things will only get worse if one attempts to communicate with you. However, they are classed as Buck Tooth McBuck Tootherson and are thus deemed irrelevant. An American, on the other hand, has the innate ability to hide his ego presence through a mask of dry sarcasm and self-deprecation and as such can remain hidden up to as little as five feet away. Furthermore, if not sufficiently prepared, communication with a Brit (except by the French, who have an equal lack of intelligence) can lead to liquification and seepage of the brain through the ears and anus. This effect is not to be confused with the same sort of seepage that occurs daily to an "American" where a diet of fat and George Bush's shit seeps from the body of the being.
When approached by an inferior being, known as an American, you will lose in what they call "an intellectual checkmate". Given an Americans idea of intellect however, this is actually winning to you or I. The Brit will utterly thrash the American and 9 out of 10 people pass out at this point, causing more awkwardness and a possible international incident as Britain points out that the Americans would not have won the Second World War if it weren't for them with a little bit of help from Russia. See The WWII Debate with America. The American will then respond that England has no natural resources as, millions of year ago, England was dubbed "Lame Central" by the dinosaurs. Oddly enough, the only dinosaurs known to inhabit the island at the time are "Nerdasauruses", characterized largely by their great, tumor-like buck teeth. You should just smile and nod at this point. It's how most of the world deals with the Americans.
A fantastic example of Americans' attempts at humour- see also Joan Rivers or Shit AMERICA IS THE BEST ROFLLZOLZLLOROLOLRZLROZRLZOLO!!!!!!!111
[edit] British-American Communication
Like your vowels mispronounced? Your words spelt like they sound? (how utterly ridiculous!) And your chin(s) to dance whilst speaking? The United States of Arrogance wants you!
Since the Fox Hunting Ban which allowed the honourable gentleman to peacefully fend of Yankee TV through the polite use of guns, horses and angry dogs (Thankfully, Parliament has legalised Chav hunting, a fun method of pest control), American phrases such as "Extra Extra Extra Large" and "being popular means everything" have swept through the island. Worse hit was the Isle of Wight. The island is ripe with large, juicy fatties. Acess to the island has been restricted to aid workers so that the fast spreading disease does not destroy all the tea in Britain. The French can come and go as they please as the slimey food that they eat acts as protection from Americanitis. No worries though; the extra weight of the infected will cause the island to sink from the East. Tally-ho.
Should a non Briton (there are apparently a few around) find him or herself in the vicinity of an American and a Briton there may be the perverse temptation to watch the two interact. This is a mistake. Despite what will always initially appear to be a friendly rapport between the two (Britons are polite, Americans stupid) this will invaribly break down into an argument concerning the many wars Britain and America partake in together from time to time (both sides have for reasons unknown since the war of independence proven physically incapable of actually fighting one another), a discussion of the (often true) stereotypes each hold of the other or that most dreaded of topics: Z or C? There is no middle ground on this issue. All will perish. The interaction will rapidly degenerate into a conversation best described as "Idiotically schizophrenic" an admirable feat considering this event requires two people.
Actually listening will erupt either derision or depression in any neutral listener. How did this buck toothed, corn chewing ale gulper oppress and subjugate a quarter of the worlds surface and successfully hand over the reins to this chubby mildly retarded, fat food eating, flag toting xenophobe? How did my culture get bastardised by McDonalds and democracy? Best avoided.
[edit] Amusing Place-Names in Britain
The British enjoy giving their towns and villages silly names, such as the hilarious Penistone in Yorkshire. Some other examples include:
- Ugley (Essex)
- Nasty (Hertfordshire)
Note: The two villages above are situated very closely to one another. Naturally, British newspapers have a great time printing headlines such as "Ugley woman marries Nasty man." However, they rarely get a chance due to the inbreeding commonly practised in British rural areas (especially Cornwall) - marriages tend to only occur between people who have lived their entire lives in the same village and are closely related.
- Shithole (Nuneaton)
Blubberhouses (North Yorks)
- Gaywood (King's Lynn)
- Ignorantville (England)
- Flash (Derbyshire)
- Cat Brain (Bristol)
- Dog Village (Devon)
- Elephant's Creek (Scotland)
- Twatencuntser (Winehouse Vag)
- Crank (Merseyside)
- Skinner's Bottom (Cornwall)
- Pity Me (Durham)
- Stabville (Croydon)
- Wetwang (Bridlington)
- Brown Willy (Cornwall)
- Lord Berkely's Knob (Sutherland)
- Shitlingthorpe (Yorkshire)
- Thong (Kent)
- Twatt (Orkney)
- Snobb (Surrey)
- Boysack (Tayside)
- Cockermouth (Somewhere down south)
- Acaster Malbis (Yorkshire)
- Willey (Shropshire)
- Aunk (Devon)
- Cockermouth (Cumbria)
- Shoop Da Woop (London)
- Bottom Flash (Merseyside)
- Shitterton (Dorset)
- Chipping Sodbury (Gloucestershire)
- Vomitham (Hampshire)
- Crappingley (London)
- King's Bell End (Staffordshire)
- Cockfosters (Piccadilly)
- Picadelly (London)
- Pusey (Oxfordshire)
- Lolsworth (somewhere down south)
- Shottingham (Nottingham)
- Wilsford-cum-lake (Wiltshire)
- Greenbottom (Cornwall)
[edit] America-Britain conflict
One of the main topics in a Brit/American argument is the revolutionary war, where America declared independance, many Americans seem to be of the belief that a tiny group of heroic freedom fighters won the war, this is not true. Many Brits believe that the British forces were greatly outnumbered and undersupplied, true, to a degree, but exaggerated.
Conclusion:- The American revolution was won quite fairly by the Americans, advantage or no advantage, war is war. (Did any of you fight in the American revolution? No? Then you did not kick Britains ass, your ancestors won a war, NOT YOU!) Americans will never admit it but without the help of the French they would not have won the war of independence. And a German had sneaked on the the throne in England to help them out too. Not only this but, and again Wikipedia has helped us out on this one, the British actually let the Americans win because the Carribean, yes that's right that insignificant bunch of islands, were more valuable to them. So there we have it. America, you won a war with the French on your side, and only then because we couldn't be bothered to fight back. Try and undermine the greatness of the British Empire will you? Fail.
General Insults:- There is a large amount of conflict between the two countries, I've spent a great deal of time researching the most common stereotypes involved in insults.
The common internet using Brit is of the opinion that each and every American (Yank) is Obese, loud, inbred, overly religious, scared of exercise, selfish, lacking good taste, stupid, gullible, disloyal, triggerhappy, cowardly, self obsessed and lacking wit.
The common internet using American holds strong the belief that all British are upperclass, live on a strict diet of tea and crumpets, "bitches", male, have an outrageous accent, eccentric (A lot of us are fucking eccentric though, most people i know are) and "holier then thou". You better believe it.
In all my experiences I have met an American he was anything on that list and more.
Glad to help
Trans-American-(Only too glad to offer my assistance old bean, toodle pip) Trans-Brit-(No problem man, let's go get burgers and call varied people bitches)
Unfortunately, the Britain-USA conflict has lead to division of 'sub-humour' developing, in which nationals of the two countries bombard eachother with various 'jokes' to 'humourous' 'effect'. The jokes can span a galaxy of wit, though more commonly involve dentistry or stupidity. Examples of this sub-humour can be seen above, below, and indeed including this sentence.
[edit] The WWII Debate with America
While not eating themselves to death, the American fat bastards have collected enough brain cells to argue that the reason Britain is not speaking German is because of them (The zero help in fighting the Battle of Britain was substantial). However, they do seem to forget that the real reason was because Russia was fucking owning Germany with their much superior forces(because a 1:5 kill death ratio is positivly astounding, and the Americans having preoccupied about a million Germans had absoultly nothing to do with it, infact the mere notion is positivly absurd). Average Americans find this very offensive - since Russia have more nukes than America. This is the most offensive realisation to an American - and can be compared with losing the "Who's the fattest bastard" competition that occurs in many American households.
Americans also seem to forget that it is the British that have layed the foundations for such a great Economy. It is a shame that all of this wealth has been wasted on food and an average American's favourite meal - Whale with a side order of Iraqi women and children.
It is extremely notable that Nuclear Missiles look like dicks. The fact that both America and Russia seem to have locked it in thier heads that absolute pissloads of these missiles are needed would seem that both countries are compensating for something. Possibly the fact they take it up the arse.
[edit] Things Britain invented, NOT Americans<--excellent grammar by the way (missing a period, the arrow sign is not spaced, and wrong format)
- Imperialism
- Television
- The first heavier than air, self propelled, lifting flight by an aeroplane.
- Trains
- The aircraft carrier and all the innovations therein, e.g the steam catapult
- The clock
- Radar
- Photography
- The cinema. Both the building and the movie.
- The lightbulb - Edisson was years behind on that one.
- Aenesthsia.
- Nuclear power stations
- Blister steel
- Stainless steel
- Metal bridges
- The pneumatic tyre
- Rubber
- Paper money
- Every ball sport (except basketball, but thats boring anyway)
- The tractor
- Modesty
- Modern democrasy
- The WWW.
- Personal hygiene
- Proper oral hygiene
- Telephone
- Manners
- THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE: ie: JagUar. U. IT'S NOT A FUCKING W YOU TWATS (tuats)
- The Jet Engine
- T.V.R's (look it up idiot)
- Bentley's and Rolls Royce's
- Irony
- The playing card
- The patent
- Bravery
- Chavs
- The Ocean
- The Toothbrush
- Vaccines
- Broke the Enigma (honestly, Polish obtained the Enigma machine, but we broke the Lorenze cypher)
- Appeasement
- How to win WW2 Honestly and Chivalrously, the Guide
- Normal Comedy
- THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
- Gravity
- Evolution
- your mum <--fucking British people! (Yep, your Mum is fucking British people)
- The teletubbies (orginally a secret super irritating soldier experiment, they escaped)
- Heavy Metal
- Rock
- Monty Python
- How to insult Americans British style, the guide
- The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, The Who, The Doors, Pink Floyd, Queen, Elton John, David Bowie, T. Rex, Iron Maiden, Status Quo, The Smiths, Sex Pistols, The Clash, Duran Duran, Def Leppard, Muse, Placebo, The Cure, Depeche Mode, The Stone Roses, Oasis, Blur, Radiohead, Coldplay, Kaiser Chiefs, The Darkness, Bloc Party, Snow Patrol, Editors, Arctic Monkeys, Underworld, Orbital, Massive Attack, The KLF, The Prodigy, Basement Jaxx, The Chemical Brothers, Groove Armada, Aphex Twin and Portishead. And america offers... the Disney franchise, Coca Cola, friendly fire and McDonalds!
- NOT 9/11
- Dates the correct way round, so it's 11/9 not 9/11
- Coins
- Stamps
- Roads
- God
- NOT JESUS - OK, the Americans did invent Jesus which is why they never shut up about him.
- The Computer
- All sports
- How to be crap at sports we invented
- The Internet
- DNA testing
- Bob hope
- Electricity
- Penicillin
- Time (GMT)
- Gassing civilian populations (presumably that is 'gasing' in American!)
- The underground railway
- Suspension bridges
- Unbelievable cynicism about the USA
- We also invented Hong Kong, Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes, William Shakespeare, Agatha Christie, and - wait for it :
The American Legal System. (God help us)
and repetition, as Boris will testify.
[edit] British Honours and Titles
1 Gold Star and two world wars.
[edit] See Also
Barmy British Stuff Americans Spoiling and nicking everything! We blame Americans, for stealing and marketing almost all of our stuff.
Lightbulb, Edison? What! No, 11 months too late, after Joseph Swan, but it gets more confusing here, because a German made a light bulb even earlier, let's say it didn't happen.
The super sonic plane. Americans arranged an exchange, with Britain, then nabbed our research, to build their own plane, after testing proved succsesful for the Birts, in 1943: but we're casual about it, the fat nabbing bastards!
