Brian Molko
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“I love him/her. He/she makes me squeal with delight.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Brian Molko
“No male singer is allowed to be prettier than the ugliest girl I've slept with!”
~ Justin Timberlake on Brian Molko
It has been claimed that Brian was born on Deimos,a moon off of Mars (where bandmate Stefan Olsdal and Mentor David Bowie originated).
Whereas Mars is inhabited by unusually talented, tall and freaky-eyed Martians, Brian's home planet's inhabitants are somewhat stunted due to extreme gravity, and susceptible to baldness.
Brian plays guitar and whines for the rock band Placebo.
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[edit] Life of Brian
[edit] Birth and Family of the Molko
Brian claims to have been born on December 10, 1972 but recent studies have shown that he was born under the sign of the Mernimbler on the fourth solstice of Arguse.
When he was born, his mother wrapped him in pink, suede leopardprint, climbed high onto the Mountain Kriznatch and offered him up unto the Gods. The Gods then imbued young Molko with the ability to wail in a nasal manner, a great talent for the cave dwelling Deimosians.
He has a half brother (who grew up on Mars) named Billy Corgan who, following in the footsteps of the Duke of Phobos- David Bowie - travelled to Earth to become a Rock Star and also shares this great talent. Brian isn't in contact with his brother as he is jealous of his height and relationship to Gerard Way, whom Billy fathered in the spring of 1982.
Brian Molko is not short, he is infact one of the tallest inhabitants of his plannet Demios, where the average height is 4"10.
Brian Molko is a sexy beast.
[edit] Appearance
Brian used to clothe himself in the traditional garb of his home planet, a glamorous and androgynous style but has since chosen to dress down and blend in with the natives a bit. Reports that he was recently spotted buying two sackfuls of beige wool tanktops and green tweed suits from Marks & Spencer have been vehemently denied by his spokesperson.
[edit] Appearance and Colleagues
In an attempt to cement his status as shock-inducing Nancy Boy, Molko has worked with several other lipstick wearing, gender-bending, sexually ambiguous rock-hero-types:
He currently is not speaking to Nicky Wire, as the dress wearing, shark-grinned Manic Street Preacher refused his offer of a 'quick one backstage' and called him a shirtlifter before tossing his feather boa around his shoulders and flouncing off with a bottle of Babycham.
[edit] Teenage Angst
Brian was once the poster-boy of Angst and Misery, inheriting his crown from long-time moaner and one time lover Morrissey, who has since moved on to being a grumpy old man. Unfortunately, Brian has not named a successor for the title and it is now being fought over by many scene upstarts with a Holden Caulfield obsession.
[edit] Trivia
- Molko is an old family name meaning 'ladyboy' in his native tongue.
- Many fans and critics have discussed the theory that Brian may or may not be a Pixie, he is not. This was vehemently denied by the ghost of Kurt Cobain, who claims to be the only Rock Star Pixie.
- Brian can speak French fluently; this is due to the fact that the only T.V. he could receive on Deimos were old re-runs of the film Gigi.
- A former drama student, Brian has directed his own Pornographic Short-Film entitled 'Protege-Moi' starring Asia Argento and Cristina Martinez.
- Once said that Steve Hewitt had the best hand job in the business.
- Once slept with Kevin Nash and ripped his quad, too.
- Has been honoured with the Molko-Latte at an extremely camp Starbucks
