Family Guy
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“Family Guy's big ugly face is as dumb as a butt. It can't scare me!”
~ Matt Groening on Family Guy
“About some guy and his family”
~ Oscar Wilde on Family Guy
“Hey Seth, where do you get your ideas?”
~ John Lennon on his final words
“I heard, uh, that, eh, this show, was, uh, you know, full of interjections, which, uhm, yeah, get really annoying.”
~ Critic on Family Guy
Family Guy is an animated comedy cartoon series that became the first to learn how to load an RPG and destroy the city known as The Simpsons built on the gigantic mountain known as Matt Groening's ego. Family Guy was born after baritone Seth MacFarlane, a poor Vietnamese immigrant, watched popular BBC drama American Dad while on an acid trip, and Family Guy was fertilised. Family Guy was later born when MacFarlane's wife conceived the idea on 15/12/1997, or to Americans 09/09/1956. Family Guy is about a normal, dysfunctional family living in Rhode Island, with the radical appendages of a Japanese baby (to the USA that's a psychotic American baby that can talk), and a bipedal Arctic wolf. Real Rhode Island inhabitants will consider the family as next-door neighbours. If they don't, then they are the family.
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Humble Origins
A disgruntled Seth MacFarlane left his native Florida after he was expelled from the Walt Disney school of design for the racially pure for his pro-multiculturalist stance. He then went through a chain of mindless jobs, such as marketing director for Shell oil, and prosecution lawyer at the Saddam Hussein trial. One day, after doodling stick figures on the swear words of a letter from his bank, MacFarlane got it into his head that he could become an artist. When that failed miserably, he made a decision to create an animated cartoon series, each character as funny and as much a national treasure as the last. After this went to shit, MacFarlane became addicted to hallucinogens and somehow dreamt up Family Guy. MacFarlane pitched the idea to Cartoon Network, who commissioned him to make a pilot episode. Luckily he realised before it was too late that he had dignity, and forced 20th Century Fox to like the idea.
Family Guy: The Conquest of America
The pilot took MacFarlane's production company (Seth's American Studios or SAS) 18 years to create, which was considered good for a studio consisting of a chair, MacFarlane's sleeping bag and Microsoft NT workstation which predated the invention of metal. The title of the pilot episode is unknown, as the closest it has come to any human language is a very primitive form of Manx, making it an ultra-primitive form of English, which nobody in the modern World has been able to translate. The episode itself is difficult to follow, as it contains many disturbing scenes that cause you to die 7 days after watching. SAS released the first two seasons onto digital TV all over the American Empire, and was an instant success with audiences after watching only the first few seconds. DVDs were flying off the shelves, which made it difficult for people to take them and buy them.
Family Guy: The Conquest of the World
After the USA, the rest of the World soon fell into line. Russia, Libya, Algeria, and Iran tried having a go at rebelling against the infidels at Family Guy, but failed as they are still unsure what a clear military victory looks like. Iraq went to war, but failed as it realised Saddam Hussein doesn't exist anymore. The trade embargo means that Cuba has never received Family Guy imports, but spontaneous citizens can get the rip off version "Semi-Terrorist Man" on cine film canister. However Fidel Castro has thanked the United States of America for not importing such boring, self gratifying, mindless drivel. The IQ of Cuba has gone up 3%, since this event. The world is now in danger by a nuclear terrorist brigade offended by a little joke about Osama bin Laden, but miraculously, American Dad is here to the rescue.
Characters
Peter Griffin
Peter Griffin (Petepromolestus Obesitus Memoritalis) is the main fat person of the show. In an attempt to avoid any sensible dialog, Peter Griffin manages to create an atmosphere of extreme retarded lulz that surprisingly exceeds by that the one created by the George - like the time he used to work on the Black Pearl.
Peter is the married to Lois Griffin and is the father of 3 children and 1 dog. He hangs out at the Drunken Clam with his friends Joe, Glen and Cleveland on a regular basis. It is common for Peter to deal with everyday family problems such as incest, bestiality, murder, teenage pregnancy, horsedicks, adultery, Child Abuse, memory flashbacks, etc. - like the time he took Stewie to the strip club.
Peter Griffin was a disco singer in the late 70's and early 80's, but he only had a few modest hits on the charts -like the song he sang about a friendly neighborhood superhero.
Peter met Jesus a few times already, and says he hopes to meet the Flying Spaghetti Monster soon as well, and perhaps Muhammad too. His Noodlyness says he is planning to meet him sometime soon.
Also stated on the show, Peter is part-black thus he gets a honorable place in a racially-divided American society. But he doesn't use it for an advantage, since he can't get a stable job anyways.
Controversy
- Many people have argued that Family Guy has just copied The Simpsons, until they all realised their contacts lenses had dropped out, as well as missing the last bus to the library where they worked.
- South Park has repeatedly attacked Family Guy the way a deformed Welsh midget would cyberbully a 5 year-old Omanian asylum seeker, although South Park has been known to hate anything that doesn't have South Park in it. This debate ended shortly after Seth MacFarlane realised that it was ridiculous to allow himself to be intimidated by a pre-pubescent gender confused teenager who got lost one day and ended up at a recording studio rather than a Batman convention.
- Christians have protested against Family Guy for portraying the Jews as human equals, and for endorsing laughter before marriage.
- Creationists deny the existance of Family Guy, after the show endorsed the possibility of having an IQ over 45.
- Al Qaeda firebombed the SAS studios after the show used the letter "h" as part of the characters' dialogue, which everybody knows is dispicable blasphemy because it is the third letter in the name of the prophet Muhammad. Family Guy was ordered to apologise for being attacked and to remove the 'h' from the episode.
- The US Republican Party attempted to destroy the show after realising that Seth MacFarlane is a literate human being with a soul and personality, and therefore wasn't somebody who would ever support (or could even be tricked into supporting) the Republicans.
- Mother Nature has also expressed anxiety over the misplacement of Peter Griffins "man-berries".
- The secret society known as the Illuminati has gone on the record and ishued a hitt on the entire Crew of the show claiming that "They are too close to the truth"
- Many Chinese resturaunts were closed down by the FCC after a graphic scene showing Peter Griffin drowning in Wonton soup. As a result, everytime your order soup at any resturaunt, you will receive free floaties.
- Democrats have protested the show due to making fun of Bill Clinton and for having him have sex with Lois even though he is happily married and every one knows Bill would never cheat on Hillary.
- Family guy is rated TV-MA, a warning for any crybaby not to have a life and don't watch the damn show.
