Andrew Breitbart: Founder of the website and bird imitator.

Breitbart is a comedy wiki set up by Andrew Bart-Simpson to make fun of Arianna Huffington's Huffington Post and Hillary Clinton's rogue email server. It is now the most powerful website in the world, thanks to Donald Trump's temporary appointment of Steve "Gin Blossoms" Bannon as the president's speech/thought maker.


The website was originally created by Andrew Breitbart (born Andrei Brakefartoski in Kremlin, Moscow) in 2005 as a serious alternative to what was seen as liberal bias in the American media. It has since gone on to turn to troll-inspired comedy that has turned it from a little visited website for those who are convinced 9/11 was an inside job, to the belief that former U.S. president Barack Obama was (and is) a secret Muslim-Kenyan-Black Lives Matter terrorist who should be imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay along with his orange-clad fellow travellers.

The website's late founder (see below for more conspiracy-related material) Andrew Breitbart originally started out a liberal in the mold of Bill Clinton and Anakin Skywalker, but was then seduced by the Dark Side of the internet in the shape-shifting form of Steve Bannon. What started out as a series of jokes and memes soon went into deep Whitewater territory as the sites' growing readership urged it to follow-up on stories about tin foil and the secret 12th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution which was apparently so mind-blowing that everything else was irrelevant.

Real NewsEdit


The (former) unshaven face of the New America.

Following the death of Breitbart (killed by the Deep Throat State), the comedy website came under the control of Steve Bannon. The gin blossom, permanently pickled, and angry Bannon moved the website away from broad jokes of the conservative bent to an all-out alternative humor website where showing a photo of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky having sex in the Oval Office always guaranteed a billion hits.

Using the income from this, Bannon invited fellow woman-botherer Donald Trump to contribute a column "If I Was President". This became so popular that Trump was encouraged to go for the real thing, which he indeed did. Once there, Trump insisted he needs his own team of comedians to provide a daily diet of fun to keep him amused, as "The Don" found it hard to concentrate on boring subjects like the invasion of Iran, the nuking of North Korea, and a plan to secretly infiltrate one million immigrants into Angela Merkel's house in Germany.

Live from the White HouseEdit

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Breitbart.

From January to August 2017, Breitbart took up residence in the East Wing basement of the White House so that it was easier for Donald Trump to take the elevator and host a chat show in the middle of the night. Trump's It's All True Folks. I'm Being Bugged to Buggery attracts an audience measured in the tens of billions, and every world leader listens in or orders a daily transcript everyday.

Steven Bannon remained editor-in-secret for the website (disclaimers aside) and wanted Breitbart to articulate a new "Fifth Way" to carry on the comic legacy of Donald Trump. The American left claimed Breitbart was "Der Trumpster's Voice", but the website claimed that it was "fake news with extra-hard falsies" and would flash a picture of actress Joan Crawford to prove a comic point.

Exiled from the White HouseEdit

In August, Bannon found that his automatic entry pass into the White House had been revoked. Angry, he retreated to a bar and texted in his resignation; he received a message back that read "U R FIRED SHIT FACE". Bannon then returned to his post at Breitbart, vowing to "go to war" with his former boss The Donald.