Breadwinners

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Duck ass

Controlling a vehicle with your ass is what makes this show such a unique and hilarious addition to the Nicktoons!

Breadwinners is Prickelodeon's latest "masterpiece". Originally a YouTube short nobody has ever heard of, Nickelodeon turned it into a full show as a desperate, desperate attempt to improve its ratings.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Breadwinners.

edit Development

After years of showing programs such as Fanboy & Chum Chum, Big Time Rush, iCarly, and SpongeBob: Adult Party Cartoon, Nickelodeon had gone from a wonderful children's channel to a steaming pile of dog crap operated by Viacom. All while rejecting Adventure Time, The Modifyers, and God knows how many other shows that would have actually been watchable.

The Nick executives finally decided to stop screwing their network any further and look for new inspiration. By this time, however, Nick itself has been reduced to a corporate ratings trap that could no longer find its own talent, so the execs created a show based on someone else's cheap video. The creator of Breadwinners discovered his magnum opus had been stolen by the network. In an attempt to sue the executives for their crime, he was put back in the asylum which he escaped months before. Meanwhile, Nickelodeon proceeded to make a new cartoon out of the shit they took credit for and, to the world's surprise, it became a success.

edit Premise

This so-called "cartoon" follows the wacky misadventures of two ducks named GaySway and Badouche who don't look anything close to ducks. If anything, they look more like McDonald's Chicken Nuggets that got affected by radioactive poisoning. This is because the show is being produced by three-year-olds and drunks with an empty vodka bottle for an animation budget. Anyways, these things typically drive around in a rocket van delivering bread to other ducks, who are made up of nothing more than stock images which Nick also took without permission. It's funny because ducks love bread. In other words, it's amusing because it's not funny. Also, in a few episodes, SwaySway announces that he has a crush on a female duck named Jenny Quackles. However, for anyone who's actually watched this, think about the amount of screentime he spends with Buhdouche, not to mention the fact that they shake their asses at each other, give each other "Duck Hugs" multiple times, dance in front of rainbows, and live in the same house. This is because the creators originally intended for SwaySway and Buhdouche to be a gay couple, but Nick executives wouldn't allow them to depict Homosexuality in a children's cartoon (Ironically, two years later, they allowed the creators of The Loud House to depict a gay interracial couple on their show). As a result, the few people who actually watched this were left to assume that SwaySway was hiding in the closet.

Not much else is known about Breadwinners because no normal person has ever had the guts to enjoy a full episode. However, the show is known for its overly-large amount of homoerotic butt jokes, slipshod animation that makes a 12 year old's pivot videos look like a Disney/Pixar movie by comparison, and the most disgusting plots imaginable.

edit Reception

Donaldduckwithagun

The typical reaction to watching an episode. It makes Donald himself ashamed for being a duck.

As you could imagine, everyone over 2 years of age would find this show as an embarrassment to cartoon kind. The many brave critics who attempted to review episodes - and the ones forced into doing so - stated that over a quarter of their brain cells have perished. Oscar Wilde states that something like this couldn't possibly stay on air for long.

Against all odds and belief, Breadwinners quickly became the #1 program for preschoolers and retards. Experts believe hacks took over the network and killed everyone in the building.

edit Legacy of Nick

Judging by the show's continued existence and other traces of executive meddling, one can assume that Nick has given up the will to live and is hammering the last nails into its coffin. Because all to look forward to being forced to see how much innocent brain cells they can kill in a day. It is obvious that Viacom hates brain cells and has a duck fetish. Why? Probably because they don't have brain cells and are jealous of everyone else's.
Gator aid

One of the ways Nickelodeon plans to squeeze every ounce of profit from Breadwinners. Just like they do with any other show that becomes a success.

Nostradamus predicts that the poop throwing monkeys running Nick will eventually kill themselves under the weight of the crap pile they have attempted to throw at the audience. He also predicts that Disney will adopt SpongeBob like it did with Marvel and Star Wars. Disney will buy anything the media has to offer. Just not this.

edit See also

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