Brahmin
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“swallowing cum is vegetarian”
“The neighbor's veggie dish is divine”
Brahmin specie is a breed mix of half cow, half human and half libyan fornicator. They started as fictional characters in 'Amba in wowland' and later became real, thanks to the efforts of Bono and Queen Latifah. They are members of the highest 'Varna' in Hinduism and were so ahead of their times that around 1000 BC, they constructed a time Machine and casting evil chants and blobs of Mescaline at Aldous Huxley, downloaded Brave New World from his Vista Enabled PC, without his permission and incorporated the caste system into their Scriptures. Even though they are so forward, they believe that cow's urine is pious and start their day gulping down gallons of the same. Superstions for Brahmins are like bean tacos for Mexicans. They adore them, eat them, drink them and live on them. They believe that if they start for some work and someone sneezes, the fullupticals (totally not made up) from the sneeze go and molest their success chances. They believe that if a black cat crosses the road they are walking on, the cat's pee automatically comes out and hits them in their eye. That's why they run back home as soon as they see a black cat. Cat Woman Halle Berry has not yet commented on these allegations on her kind.
The so called preservers of all knowledge, the people born of privilege who often brag about their fairer complexion (actually due to their 'relationship' with holy cows) compared to other 'Dalits' and have claimed the universe and lentils for themselves.
These are the people whom you will often find eating a chicken sandwich outside a Subway in Pune. They never marry Muslims, but are the first people to eye beautiful Muslim girls of Iranian Descent. You will never ever find a homosexual Brahmin, for such things are never talked about...(Gay Brahmins are too busy being surreptitious). Some Brahmins might always claim to be teetotalers, but be sure to spot one such Brahmin at your local pub who in a drunken rage will chant all sorts of meaningless mantras which neither he, nor a sober Brahmin, will ever understand.
Many people believe Brahmins are a result of the 'healthy relationship' of white supremacists from Europe that settled in India a LONG time ago when they were on a holiday and holy cows.
[edit] Jobs
The only jobs suitable for Brahmins, according to a few of their senior inbreds, are those which are 'respectful', which means Brahmins would only be Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers and priests if the inbreds were to have their way.
Brahmins who aspire to serve their country in the Military or Police Force are deemed as 'idiots' by these inbreds. The bravery of such Brahmins is not seen as a contributory factor towards the continuing propagation of such senior inbreds. After all it is the stars in the horoscopes of these senior inbreds that commands god Shiva to awaken from his meditation and open his third eye in order to destroy the enemy forces, all thanks to the noble deeds of a inbred's previous birth, thus saving Brahmins.
Even the time of an enemy's attack can be predicted by viewing a horoscope so that then can get their defense ready. Brahmins are secret ninjas and have the excellent weapon of a water 'chembu' (a utensil with holy water, holy from holy Cow), where mere sprinkling of a few drops of holy water and muttering a few mantras on the opponent (extreme super hard core black magic) can turn him/her into a pig/dog/chipmunk etc... Proved as truth by the reliable bollywood, Brahmins warn everyone of their powers.
As no one in the society can question their doings (respect their autharitahh), Brahmins often slack off on things they often pretend to preach. First off, they bath rarely and crashing in a dumpter is a better option than hanging out at their place (if of course you are allowed to enter). Brahmins hear voices and strongly believe its GOD talking to them (what?? who?? shhhhhh Quiet). As soon as a kid is born, vedic books are stiched to the infants thighs so that the kid can growp up looking at, reciting and learning mantras.
Aaaam-yaaam-yaa is the language spoken by Brahmins all over the universe
[edit] Sex Life
Although the author of the Kamasutra was a Brahmin, Sex is never talked about in a Brahmin Household rather, he learned it from the neighbouring chamaar´s wife or stray animals. Brahmins are so smart, they merely need to invoke the god of genetic engineering from the pantheon of millions of Hindu gods in order to reproduce. This Ritual can only take place between two Brahmins, attempting to reproduce with a non-Brahmin usually leads to infertility...(a non-Brahmin probably has a terrible STI anyway)
WARNING: using words such as 'masturbation' and 'blow job' may cause a Brahmin's head to Asplode!.
