Boxes
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Boxes. Yes, they are boxes. What, you're actually reading this article: it's about boxes for goodness sake! What an earth could be more boring than boxes! Grrr! You're STILL reading this article, on the most boring thing ever, ever put on uncyclopedia. What's the point? Have you got no life? No? What is it then? OK, maybe I'll count to 10 and you will be gone, from this boring, boring page about boring old boxes.
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10! What? You're still reading this!?!? Congratulations! You have absoluutely no life, I mean you've just searched for boxes on uncyclopedia. Even you have to admit, it is pretty lame.
...
OK, maybe I get the point, you want information on boxes, which is fine by me. Now I have to write an entire article about this boring, boxy theme. How irritating.
Contents |
[edit] What is a Box?
A box has an upside, a bottomside and some sides. What else? I hear you ask. Well it's NOTHING BUT THAT!!! Honestly, that's all a box is: A stupid, boxy thing. Nothing else. Go away before you you lose what precious life you have. Why do you even care, they're not animals, they're not even alive! What's wrong with you! Are you mad?
[edit] Types of Box
Who cares? Seen one box , you've seen them, what I say. Oh, you want information, for your no life, nerdy, brain. Ok, there is lots of kinds of boxes then. Plastic boxes. Cardboard Boxes. Metal Boxes. All equally useless and boring.
 The Conserve the boxes effort collapsed after they realised boxes were stupid, boring things. |
 Science of the Box, also known as Boxology, was named the most tedious of all the sciences. |
[edit] Boxes in unpopular culture
A movement started in the 1960's to stop exploiting boxes as boring, boxy things. Trouble is, they soon realised the truth. Boxes are boring, boxy things. What a waste of effort.
During the riots in New York City, 56 hippies gave their lives to defend the supposed interesting aspect of boxes. Anti-boxite protesters overpowered riot police at the rally slaying the lead hippy and placing his entrails in a biscuit tin for dinner later that night.
A film about boxes seemed like a bad idea at the time. All the critics said it would never work. 'Stupid waste of time', 'bah' and 'boooooooooring'. But, then when the results were in they soon realised...that they were right. The director didn't even get enough money to buy the cardboard box, (the star of the film), from the supermarket. Box the movie was eventually released in the future and became the lowest grossing film ever, beating the paint drying movie.
Gordon Brown likes boxes, as well as the contradictory contradictions of Celine Dion
[edit] Uses for Boxes
Not much but...
- Hours of entertainment for particularly stupid animals, hyper four year-olds and daytime television presenters.
- Put smaller boxes in them.
- Hiding from genetically-enhanced, somehow incompetent soldiers trying to find you.
- Errrr. I guess errrr..
- To create the mystery that is a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box although this does require multiple boxes to be completed though this is generally not done due to the many fatalities of people who attempted this but died from boxitis.
[edit] References
Honestly, do you really want references for such a stupid, boring thing? All you need to do is pick up a box and look at how boring it is. It's nothing special!
If you really want to referencify boxes, try Box.com, Box.co.uk, or type Box into Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle
[edit] External Resources
OK, you've just read the whole boring article. Why should I give External Resources? I don't care if you want them, I'm saving you from a boring, boxy future. Now, go away.
This isn't entirely true, as many boxes will be our boring overlords in about 4 years.
Errm, yes it is. Go away.
