Borat Sagdiyev
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“Argh! It a jew! Kill it! Kill it!”
~ Borat on Jon Stewart
“Is funny cause Jon Stewart is a Jew?”
~ Borat on You
Borat Sagdiyev (Russian: Бoрат Сагдиев, Kazakh: بورات ساغدييف , Soviet Unionian: Comrade Sagdiyev) (Order of Kazakhstan) is Kazakh television's number two media personality and my best friend and sole creator of "Borat's Guide To Mars," which were great blowjobs! Borat also Kazakhstan's current Ambassador to the US and A and hold title of Crappiest Man In All of Kazakhstan as well as most overquoted penis in the American media. From the maker of Ali G and Bruno, Borat is a new and improved version of the funny Englishman Sasha Baron Cohen who happens to be something Borat hates.
During the Russian-American Cold War, Borat also prove himself great general. He kill all enemy plow womans and horse and make much damage to enemy catapult. Borat's master war techniques includes rape, shoot, pillage, burn, and money extortion. Kazakhstan emerged victoriously. Great success! High Five! But the most criticized things in Borat is Plagiarism, he never cited nor documented his jokes sources, a Lebanese reported came up with a name (told to be Borat's main source), the name comes back to a 18 year-old Lebanon guy who comes out with the original jokes... He goes undercover under the name of "DON" but he was disclosed to be Hany Rizk...
Borat also drive a Hummer, but not to compensate.
He travel to Almaty City when he were a 9 for to find job and get cleaned in the hole. He move with sister, then 6 year olds, and they pretend as husband and wife. While sister become great prostitute, Borat get hire by Almaty Municipal Government as official Jews-catcher. His job was grab Jews by horns, and beat. He has also have many sexy-time with his mother-in-law by this time. (Naughty-naughty!)
When he were a 15, Borat get discover by Kazakh media sensation Korki Butchek (who had a very famous song called "Bing Bang"). He was discover by Butchek when Butchek make romance in his sister. So Borat was hire as state-owned TV station's roving reporter and ice-maker. He liked the gay sex not so much.
When he were a 14 year old, Borat kidnaps his first wife Sophia. Soon they were struck by Gypsy attack, where Borat lose wife, two goats, plow, and horse's dignity (it was touched in very bad place).
Borat second wife, daughter of Boltok "The Rapist" Sagdiyev, die in tragic accident in field. She were a big fat and had hair on her back, so hunter mistake her for bear, and shoot. But is OK! Borat get a new wife, now keep her in cage for be safe, and they have a boy, is now a 11, and father of Borat's two grand-childs. Borat's wife make tasty cheese by milk from her tits.
Now Borat and family is well-know all across Kazakhstan, only behind likes of Corky Bucek. His sister has been make Miss Kazakhstan 1994 and voted by Almaty Chamber of Commerce as Number Four Prostitute with Best Sex in Mouth in all of Kazakhstan. He keep one brother, Billo Sagdiev, in room with metal door so he don't do retard rampage (his head small, but his arm BIG), and other brother himself has son with nuclear retardation disease of foot-ball (foot grows from testes-satchel) and hair covered all over body, he get send to travel all around.
Borat say he is number 2 most famous person in whole of Kazakhstan. Number 1 most famous is childrens' animal actor Johnny the Monkey, star of Transibirsky Express and other pornofilm.
Borat is also known for his hit song "Throw the Jew Down the Well," a classic piece of music back in his hometown.It very nice.
He has a moustache.
[edit] Borat is currently listed on The Red Potato Publicity Page.
In 2007 Borat had the honour of being listed on the prestigious Red Potatoe Publicity Page. "He's an insperation to all us child rapist who are brought down by the Jew" claims the kusak Prime Minister. Borat was honoured for his humanitarian work by killing more Jews than anyone in Kazakhstan. Now he is planning to break the same record by killing evil Libereal Warlords. Agustabost, Very Nice! I like!
[edit] Kazakhstan National Anthem
(Please stand for anthem) (Stand up now)
Kazakhstan greatest country in the world.
All other countries are run by little girls.
Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium.
Other countries have inferior potassium.
Kazakhstan home of Tinshein swimming pool.
Its length thirty meter and width six meter.
Filtration system a marvel to behold.
It remove 80 percent of human solid waste.
Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.
From Plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown.
Kazakhstan friend of all except Uzbekistan(assholes).
They very nosey people with bone in their brain.
Kazakhstan industry best the world.
We invented toffee and trouser belt.
Kazakhstan’s prostitutes cleanest in the region.
Except of course Turkmenistan’s
Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.
From Plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown.
Come grasp the might penis of our leader.
From junction with the testes to tip of its face!
[edit] Personality & Interests
- Dyisco Dyance
- Archery
- Rape
- Ping Pong
- Sunbathe
- Daria kraut
- Shoot Dog
- And on weekends he travel to Capital City and watch a ladies while they make a toilet.
- He enjoys reciting the Kazakhstan National Anthem to Americans! (http://ibarelydidhalfofthislol.ytmnd.com).
- Borat likes to have a "sexy time" (he had a sexy time with his mother-in-law)
- He like the shaved vazyin (not the bush) as long as it not droop like sleeve of wizard.
- Borat has only loved once, being with pet pig Igor who made more a delicious meal than a faithful pet.
- Borat is interest in make film "Passion of christ 2: Make my day Jews" starring his great friend Melvin Gibsons.
- Borat have been designing in his country, revolutionary car which changes Kazakhstan economy. Because in his country there is problem, and that problem is transport (and Jew), it take very long time.
- Instead of throwing transport down the well, Borat has hired by doubles as plow and house for gypsies. This car not surprising is called Volkswagen Borat.
- He has also remarked that his 'khram' is like 'can of Pepsi!' and that his son is 20cm.
- He also like the ass of a 7-year-old.
- He now like Britney Spear's bald vazyin
- He make sexy time with his sister Natalya (is no joke).
- He loves Jews and is sorry for resembling that fuckhead Sacha Baron Cohen (who is a Jew...go figure)…
