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The only good book is a burning book!

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“"If you want a vision of the future that books will bring, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever.”
~ Big Brother on the demise books will bring to humanity."

Book burnings are annual conventions where books and other non-academic items are burned. The burning of books is a recognized event for the masses to express themselves in a safe, moral way and has been rooted in the People's self defense against the growing evils.

In most recent cases, book burnings have been entirely without books due to their efficient extermination. This has allowed a better focus on the equally contemptuous and visual pieces of filth, Art. Although very similar to what's known as "Art Destruction," book burnings have kept their distinction through the exclusive use of fire.

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A 'hot read'

As book burnings have grown into a global phenomenon through The Party, the term "Cultural Genocide Refreshment" has been coined.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Book burning.

Origins Edit

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'Just the right fuel to heat up cold knees on a frosty night Heinz'

The book burnings that the world has grown to know and love today has had their roots traced all the way back to the very first book club. Actually a rival to book clubs, book burnings involved much of what the former had, books and social gatherings. The only difference is that book burnings are good and book clubs are very bad and banned.

After great disrespects for life, liberty, and Party policies were discovered in all books, The Party was quick to act. All of the perpetrators, Jews, Gypsies, and Communists were apprehended. This resulted in the very first conventional book burning in May of 1933, the fact that all books are bad, and the formation of the very first and only Book Burning Club.

Etymology Edit

As for the name "book burning," it is unclear of where it originates from. What's the most accepted theory is that "book" (fuel, firewood, blanket) in "book burning" has similar meaning to that of "book" in "book club" because the two words are quite similar in appearance. However, this is still heavily debated. Critics describing this as a weak argument are always asking, "How can 'book' and 'book' from 'book club' and 'book burning' be similar if one is a community while the other is an event?"

Firemen Edit

The Firemen were the first attempts to regain the success from the initial book burnings. The need for a controlled disposal of books developed from the fear of The Enemy agitators posing as people.

The very first Firemen were distinguishable for their undying loyalty to The Party and their iconic big red trucks armed with water cannons powerful enough to take down an entire riot.

Equipment Edit

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'All books must die!'

  • Book Axe
  • █ Gal. Flamethrower
  • ██ Cal. Firearm
  • ██x███ Cal. Long Rifle
  • ██ in. Baton

Disbandment Edit

20 years after the Fall of Europe, the Constitution was finally captured and destroyed leaving the enemy without a solid motivation to resist. Book burnings as social gatherings could now be possible, thus the Firemen grew obsolete.

Many Firemen retired on ██/██/████ when the service was dissolved because of a re-established trust in the people.

After the Gunmen (known today as Peacekeepers) were established, the first wave of new recruits were almost all former Firemen.

Controversy Edit

Anti-intellectuals were quick to spread the idea that Book burnings are bad despite being Party approved.

Outspoken critics Edit

Facts about the books Edit

Books were never useful. Anti-intellectuals, otherwise known as authors, were individuals, and therefore self-centered, self-loathing, racist, bigotted, Black, Hispanic, Jew, Gypsy, Communist, Religious, anarchist, hooligan, lazy, pro-totalitarian, authoritarian, regime loving, hipster, criminal, hypocritical liars who used paper rations to make books and deprive Party soldiers of heat and food in the frontlines.

Burn the Books

Remember, it's for your protection, <insert name here>!

The eligibility for destruction Edit

Books were one of the first to be eligible for the list because of the illogical and hate filled ramblings the pretentiously crafted pieces of "work" brought with them.

Books are deposits of deceptive tactics such as the use of flowery and loaded language made to fluster audiences into the only feelings they're allowed to feel, anger, and be made easier for control by it. But they are ultimately bad because The Party states so, and therefore, all books must be destroyed.

“"Without libraries, what do we have? We have nothing holding us to the past and a future to focus on and work towards!”
~ Captain Beatty on a world without books and their detriments."

Modern Book burning Edit

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The Trumpton Book Burning Club off to incinerate more of the filthy printed word

Book burnings were once exclusive parties for Youth Club from The Party. But as book burnings were more closely examined by The Party, they were discovered to be excellent exercises for the arms, social skills, and mind. The People's Freedom to Limited "Expression" by Book Burning Privilege was then created as a way to allow these benefits to be shared among the population out of love for the people by The Party.

Content of Modern Book burnings Edit

No longer are Book burnings composed of just books, but any and all non-sanctioned items such as: Cardboard, Paper, and Pencils!

Book burning rules Edit

Although few and fairly relaxed, book burning rules are to be followed out of the safety concerning the whole of society and respect for The Party.

Missing role call Edit

If one is caught missing role call, Its behavior will be seen as aberrant and be subjected to 10 years in a Party Re-education through Labor Camp for the Misguided.

I-read-banned-book

READ RHYMES WITH DEAD!

Opening books Edit

If one is caught red-handed looking inside of a book at a Book Burning Convention, then It is assumed to have read without The Party's permission. This will result in Its temporary removal from privileges given by The Party through firing squad.

Inappropriate comments Edit

If one makes an inappropriate comment such as a joke, It will be assumed to have thought without The Party's permission and have violated The Party privilege to the people of Freedom from Thought. This will result result in Its permanent removal from Party privileges through firing squad.

Notable book burnings Edit

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Hypatia in the Alexandrian Library. Her scrolls are overdue!