Bon-Bon
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The State of Saint-Pierre and Miquelon (TSoSPaM) is normally known by its more common name, Bon-Bon. TSoSPaM was the zeroth state to join the United States of America, and the only Confederate state not recaptured during the American Civil War.
[edit] Geography
From God's throne high up in the atmosphere, Miquelon looks like a partially-sucked French bonbon with a thinning middle such that the entire island has assumed a dumbbell shape, with the fifty-pound weights pointing to the north and south.
Saint-Pierre is a tiny excrescence of an island located to the south-east of Miquelon. Saint-Pierre most resembles a casually-tossed bonbon wrapper resting in the North Atlantic ocean.
[edit] History
The history of TSoSPaM can be neatly divided into five different historical periods.
- Pre-History Nothing of any importance every happened to TSoSPaM before the arrival of the white man. Trees swayed in the breeze. Grass grew and then died in the fall. Snow covered everything in the chilly winters.
- Discovery Much to the delight of his highness King Louis OSX of France, these two islands where first discovered, second claimed, and third colonized by cobblestone-walking, baguette-eating Frenchmen and their women.
- Louisiana Purchase Pushing their luck, James Monroe and Robert R. Livingston insisted that the French throw in these two piddling little islands into the Louisiana Purchase in 1804. Once purchased, the U.S. Congress retroactively declared TSoSPaM to be the Zeroth State of the Union, in recognition of the decades of toil by Bon-Bon's French settlers.
- Civil War Taking their cues from their former homeland, the citizens of the zeroth state decided to side with the Confederacy during the American Civil War. Owing to their complete and utter lack of any navigable vessels, TSoSPaM's contribution to the war was marginal, and at the end of hostilities, was roundly ignored.
- The Future The future has not happened yet. According to computer projections, Bon-Bon will sink in to the sea due to global warming around the year 2027.
