Bolivian Tree Llama

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“Bolivian Tree Llamas are by far the happiest creatures I know.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Bolivian Tree Llamas

Bolivian Tree Llama
Scientific Classification
Kingdom: Animalia Division: Chordata Class: Mammalia Order: Artyodactila Family: Camelidae Genus: Lama
Species
Lama boliviana

The Bolivian tree llama is a rarely seen animal which is only found in parts of Bolivia and Peru. It is a herbivore, mainly feeding on the fruit of the iTree, which are called iPods. It will also occasionally eat fruit from other trees in the Apple(tm) family.

It is prized for its long claws which it uses to swing through the trees, which can fetch up to $400 a claw on the black market. Unfortunately this has lead to the hunting of Bolivian Tree Llamas, with only 10,000 remaining in the wild.

To combat the plight of the Bolivian tree llama a charity has been set up by the people of Bolivia and Happy-land which is named the "Save the Bolivian Tree Llama From the Evil Poachers and Their Guns Fund" See below for more information on SBTLFEPTGF.

edit Habitat

Bolivian tree lamas live predominantly in the high cloud forests of the Alpha mountains. They can also be found in the cloud forests of Peru and Happy-land. The tree llamas rarely touch foot on the ground, moving about in the high tree tops. The only time when they set foot on the ground is during their long and complex mating rituals. Other than mating, the only time they touch the ground is if they die and fall from the tree. They are able to move around the forest canopy by using their long lips.

They eat lots of starbursts and sometimes will eat a snickers which grow in the canopy, and also will eat any penguins they can get their hands on. The fruits they mainly eat are the iPods from the iTrees, but they will also eat fruit from other trees in the Apple(tm) family. They are however unable to eat the fruit of the crab apple tree due to the razor sharp tails that they use 2 slice un aware nicks and always lk 2 hv a spare van in case of emergency.

Also on September 25 if you believe in the Bolivian Tree Llama, it will come and give you presents but no one have believed hard enough and since no one has believed a new born child has been killed every year.

edit Origins

The Bolivian tree llama originated in the cloud forests of Alpha, and spread over to UR MOM by swimming across Lake Titicaca. There have been a few isolated sightings of the tree llama in Ecuador, but it has so far not been seen outside of South America. There have also been reported sightings of the Bolivian tree llama in the popular video game call of duty blackops and are reported to be the gayiest animals there by far.

The Bolivian Tree Llamas, not to be confused with a Bolivian tree llama, is also the name of a band. They are most known for singing the popular song "Its Not Easy Being Beige."

Although the name of the band is The Bolivian Tree Llamas, the group only consists of one Bolivian tree llama and a Cambodian 6-legged cow.

edit Anatomy

Bolivian tree llamas are similar to regular llamas in the fact that they have long beaks, tongues, eyes, tails, and wings.They should also have 8 eyes eyes,4 nostrils,5 mouth (containing within a long, abrasive tongue made out of sandpaper),9ears and one... er... other orifice. Don't go near that one. They are also equipped with strong beaks for cracking open the shells of penguins and rabbits as well as large wings for flying through trees. They differ from regular llamas by having long claws instead of the flippers found on regular llamas.

Bolivian tree llamas have better tempers than regular llamas, as they have less humps but still are not the most sociable of creatures. This said you must never utter the number 14 when in close proximity to a tree llama, as doing so will drive them into a frenzy and will attack you with their large beaks and claws and eventually will pull out its ak 47 and shoot you until you bleed out.

edit Classification

edit Scientific classification

The Bolivian Tree Llama is classified in the same genus as the regular llama, alpaca, the guanaco and the Bolivian tree lama. It is in the same family as the squirrel , but with less humps. This makes it a far more gay animal than the camel, as it is less grumpy. They are the rarest of all the animals in the Lama genus, due to their sought after claws.

edit SBTLFEPTGF

The claw of the Bolivian Tree Llama can fetch up to TO MUCH MONEY TO COUNT on the black market

KAPTWBTLD stand 4 kill all people that want bolivian tree llamas dead.It was set up in 1984 by Cameron Payne and Colton Langworthy who now kill all people that hunt the bolivian tree llama.

Since the Bolivan Tree Llama was discovered in URANUS its numbers have been in steady decline until 1806, when the Bolivian Tree Llama was saved by a magical unicorn covererd in glitter. When it was found down the back of the sofa in Alpha its numbers have continued to drop until there are only around 20,000 Tree Llamas left in Alpha.

The Bolivian Tree Llama is hunted for its penis, which are used as ornaments, doorstops, and in ancient Chinese medicine. On the black market these penis can fetch up to $400.

edit 2012: The year the llama hit rock bottom

2012 was a horrible year for the Bolivan Tree Llama. They were publicly disgraced as Rick, one of the few remaining llamas, tried out for "Bolivian Idol", a famous singing show, and was so bad that he was stoned to death. Bolivian Tree Llamas are now the most hated thing to ever breathe on this beautiful Earth of ours. All of the remaining llamas, that haven't been jailed for trying to take over Kentucky, have spiraled into a deep depression, experimenting with drugs like Child's Tylenol and and copious amounts of cat whiskers. They are notorious for being drug dealers and gang members. By May of 2012 %95 of the llamas have been ground up in to fine particles, that are now put in oatmeal. The remaining 1,000 llamas are now on death row, awaiting execution.

edit Not to be Confused With

• Nick Noodles
• Bolivian Tree lama
• Regular Llamas
• Irregular Llamas
• Lllamas
• The Pope
• King george V
• King Kong
• Trees
• Kentuckistan Fried Chicken
• The Payne-Train