Bogon
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“You mean all Austrians aren't like that?!!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Bogons
PLEASE NOTE: Bogon is an alternative spelling to the more popular Bogan, but is also looked at as a more extremist form of Bogan.
Bogons are a specific breed of Australian (not moths you idiot) and are often found organised in communes or hordes. Contrary to the common Australian, Bogons contain no English heritage whatsoever and pretty much believe that humanity started with their grampas in 1906. Bogons are mainly frowned upon by other Australians and are often compared to American rednecks.
Contents |
[edit] Bogonostism
Bogonostism is the religious cult form of Bogon. All Bogons are practising Bogonostics, there are no exceptions.
Bogonostism has many gods including the God of Drunken Behaviours, the God of Bad Language, the God of Porn, the God of Sheilas, the God of Anti-Feminism and the God of Badness. Despite all of these great gods, most practising Bogons worship and pray to The Great ...Bogon? (for they failed at a more inventive name) and believe that He has the greatest and longest mullet, can watch porno for weeks on end without stop, drink over 500 VBs on a single flight from Brisbane to London, and other such extreme levels of bogonostic rituals.
The Great Scriptures of Bogonostism were originally transcribed by their most recent prophet The Boony Doll and represents a great change in the religion itself as Bogons actually had to learn to read and write.
The Bogonostic version of the apocalypse is somewhat more pleasant than that of other major religions. It involves Bogonostism the belief that the Earth exists only as a bubble in the beer contained in the stubby which will one day be drunk by a FUCKIN' HOT SHEILA and the 'time of judgement' will begin.
The head church of Bogonistism is located in Berowra, Australia.
[edit] History
Bogons frown upon the concept of history as it requires them to read, write and remember things and so there is very little historical information on Bogons. However, it is known that they simply appeared in Australian society around the beginning of the 1980's, when the mullet and 80's hair metal came into fashion (unfortunately, for them it never went out).
[edit] The Bogon Language
There are very few who have been able to decipher the tongue of Bogon, but there are some common phrases which have been interpreted by top scientists. For example:
"Oi Bazza ya fuckin' dickhead! Come meet me hot sheila!!!" is translated to "Excuse me father, but I would like to you come and meet my newest female partner"
and "FUCK OFF!" is translated to "FUCK OFF"
