Bob Dylan
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“Ha, I made All Along the Watchtower better.”
- ~ Jimi Hendrix on Bob Dylan
“He didn't care about people caring that he didn't care about how much they cared that he didn't care!”
- ~ Shane on Bob Dylan
“I hate his music, he always sounds like his nuts are being crushed, and yet he is considerd the best artist in history, bleh!”
- ~ Oscar Wilde on Bob Dylan
“In Soviet Russia somebody gotta serve you!!”
- ~ Russian Reversal on Bob Dylan
“" MbleFLmble Mcallister Lvrininflupe"”
- ~ Bob Dylan on his music
“Isn't he that guy who was in the Beatles?”
- ~ Hillary Duff on Bob Dylan
“No he was in the Rolling Stones”
- ~ Ewok on Bob Dylan
“He was in AC/DC, and Black Sabbath too, he is considered a pioneer of heavy metal”
- ~ Brian Cowen on Bob Dylan
“I'd like to smoke him”
- ~ Keith Richards on Bob Dylan
[edit] Overview
Bob "Master Poet" Dylan/ Zimmerman/Terry/Timmy/Bobby/Zimmy/R.J./Ray, also known as His Holiness (born May 24, 1941 - 2020 )(not to be confused with Dylan Cisneros, the Mount Vernonian diety who was tragicly murdered by James Spangelish when he found out Dylan was secretly plotting an escape to the new world where he could live without midgets. James loved the midgets and feared dylan would completely destroy the vatican....) was a Jew. He was also the world's most overrated scarecrow and America's foremost authority on singing like shit. He never met a black girl he didn't like. He was also the 2nd man to set foot in Gay California and a celebrated coin-slot repairman for Chuck-E-Cheese. He was supposedly one of the Beatles main influences; however, later John Lennon stated that he "don't believe in Zimmerman", along with out having faith in tarot, or even the Beatles. He is the purported author of the Protocols of the Elders of Zimmerman. He golfs on Sundays when he's not engaged in watching Pro-Basketball. He has been accused of literally dancing with wolves, supposedly the tango. He is famous for his songs about boxers who are dead or in prison. Bob Dylan is also an eagle. Bob Dylan forgot to comb his hair one day back in 1960, and since he has held the galactic record of most days gone without a proper combing.
In October 1966 or some shit, Dylan being the trampoline admirer that he is, swallowed half an igloo before announcing to his backing band The Hawks that he cried bacon and blinked like a drunk King.
Bob Dylan is famous for being completely fucked up on stage and spitting on people in the crowd and pulling his pants down. He is also known to add the letter A as a prefix, for example the phone would be "a-ringing" rather than simply ringing, or "a hard rain's a-gonna fall" or "I'm a-gonna a-attach the letter A to, a every verb." Bob Dylan biographer Quentin Heylin has commented that Dylan's singing voice is: "very much influenced by the sound of dying cats."
Bob Dylan has no neck. He is neck-less. No, not necklace, neckless. Its a huge conspiracy. On the cover of Blonde on Blonde, his scarf covers the lack of a neck. On Blood on the tracks, his head is floating. All other pictures are to be discounted unless they show the truth that he has no neck.
Bob Dylan does not have a neck.
Before shows he'd spend three hours greasing every muscle until his body gleamed like an FDA approved turduckin, a real jock. While some may dispute this, Bob Dylan is a cylon. This was proven during the finale of the Third Season of Battlestar Galactica, which used one of his songs. When sexy cylon number Six approached him about using his music, he simply said "Frack ya!" and gave her his A-trak. Then he had sweet cylon sex with her while eating cheese in the bathtub.
It is a widely known fact that Dylan is, in fact, immortal. The only way he can possibly die is if he decides he wants to, otherwise, nothing can end his life.
[edit] From Classical Music To Socialist Activism
Born in 1941, Bob Dylan is a singer, songwriter, and flim-flam artist from the mean streets of New Jack City. Starting at an early age, Dylan was drop-dead serious about the artistry of guitar playing and writing lyrics. Dylan reportedly studied classical guitar from renowned flamenco guitar guru Stan Pickett. Dylan's serious devotion to mastering guitar technique was only surpassed by his devotion to lyrics. Dylan claimed that he memorized the complete works of William Shakespeare by the age of 15, including all the smarmy sonnets. "I especially like all the references to naughty things" ("tee hee,") stated Dylan of his admiration for Shakespeare. Dylan refused to sing lyrics that weren't written in iambic pentameter.
After hearing a jug band in Soho, Dylan decided to abandon his classical training for the higher art of folk music. "I wanted to engage in polemics," Dylan said of his unusual transition. "I wanted to revolutionize society. I was the oracle of the '60s." Dylan abandoned his crystal clear iambic pentameter for wheezed gibberish. "Oracles are hard to understand," Dylan said.
Sure enough, during the '60s, Dylan became an extremely popular figure among the counterculture, earning the nicknames "the Metallica of folk" and "the Lisa Simpson of grumbling". "I thrived on the publicity," Dylan said. "I personally write thank you notes and send $10 checks to each person who includes my name in a song." The Weathermen, a radical faction of the Students for a Democratic Society, took their name from a Dylan song. "I really supported the Weathermen in their efforts to overthrow the capitalist system. Music isn't about games, money, or fame to me."
Then he got bored of pretending to care about black people, Fidel Castor or the price of cocaine in China. At about this time, he decided he wanted to get drunk a lot, but he just didn't have time, so he invented a neat trick to save time, whereby instead of working on musical compositions, he just muttered whatever came into his head while bashing an out-of-tune guitar, like your annoying kid brother does (Conor Oberst was a master in this field, surpassing even Dylan himself). Unfortunately, these songs were rubbish, and nobody wanted to listen to them, but luckily Bob had a second good idea (this exhausted his stock of good ideas forever): "If I trick The Beatles into saying I influenced them, everyone will pretend my music's bearable." So he invited The Beatles back to his hotel room, planning to seduce them, then when he realised they were squares, he instead got them stoned and told them he was Dylan Thomas, but John Lennon thought he said he was The Walrus. Anyway, none of the Beatles had heard of Dylan Thomas, especially Paul Simon, who subsequently quit and moved to Africa. Boo hoo. Bob Dylan's records at this time ceased to make any sense: "Maggie's here with no shoes, talkin' TV catfish blues, a man in a black coat's tryin' to fix my motorboat, wooooaaaaahhh mama, look out Jesus, I'm eating your cheeses, God knows why but there's a bug in my eye". Luckily, nobody could tell that this made no sense and signified nothing, as they couldn't make out the words, thanks to his revolutionary singing technique: through his nose. Anyway, the bits at the end of each line seemed to rhyme, so everyone decided he must be a poet, even though he had stolen the idea of rhyming words from Greek poets such as Shakespeare, Jay-Z and Dr. Seuss. But it was the 60s and everyone was stoned, so his records seemed, in the words of one hippie, "Groovy, man." Bob made lots of money from the record sales, and used the time he saved not writing songs to write a novel, which was even worse. After the 60s ended, some of these hippies shaved, and got jobs and a sense of social responsibility. After listening to Dylan's records again, they realised they were self-indulgent shit, but they were too embarassed to admit it, so they decided it would be funny to pull the same prank on college students, who have ever since tried to appear cool by nodding appreciatively to "poetic" songs like "Like A Stoned Loser", "Underground Confused Blues...What???" (which he turned out to have stolen from Radiohead), druggie favourite "It's All Right, Mama, Everybody's Gotta Serve Their Dealer By Getting Stoned...I Mean, They're Not Drugs, It's Just The Smell Of My Burritos Cooking" and, of course, "Pissin' In The Wind", which he stole from a Kindergarten student (John Lennon stole this idea, but took it one step further, stealing "Alice in the Cellar with Indigo Diamonds", whose title coincidentally spelt out the name of a drug he had never taken, from his own son Julian Lennon. When the child complained, John abandoned him forever. The son subsequently released his own songs on an album, but they were rubbish because they didn't spell out drug names).
Interviewers often remarked on Dylan's warmness, honesty, and openness. "I've never seen a happier man in my life," said Barbara Walters of her interviews with Dylan. "I couldn't get him to stop smiling and laughing."
[edit] Bob Dylan vs. Bears
“I can't bear the sight of them.”
~ Bob Dylan on bears
Sources tell us that Bob Dylan started hating bears around the time of his birth, in 1941. Through the many periods of Dylan's career, the only thing that seems to remain constant is his deep-seated hatred of all things that roar. When Dylan first emerged onto the folk scene in the early 1960s, his message was obvious. "The bears, they are a-dyin', if I have anything to do with it!" His opposition stayed quiet until Dylan's electric performance of "Maggie's Gun" at the Newport Folk Festival in 1965. When the bear-loving communist Pete Seeger heard Dylan say to the audience "This one's for the bears! I hate them bear-studs!" the banjo-strumming folkie picked up an axe to take out Dylan. No bears were injured in the incident. The next year, an enraged audience member at a show in England called Dylan "Judas." Dylan responded, "I don't believe you... You're a bear." While many fans were outraged that Dylan had abandoned his folk roots, others embraced his new rock material. His new fans hated bears more anyway, and that made Bob happy. He later wrote of his old fans, "You got a lotta nerve/To say you're not a bear/When I was down,/You just stood there roaring." Another of Dylan's late '60s masterpieces, "It's Alright, Paw (I'm Only Bleeding)," was purported to be written from the perspective of a wounded bear. Not long after the release of the album Bear On Bear, Bob Dylan was injured in a near-fatal boat accident. "It was awful," his wife remembers tearfully. "He saw a bear in the distance, and tried to make a sharp turn so he could shoot it, and he just lost control." His wife was later found to be a bear, and they were divorced.
Another incident that was widely regarded as one of the most important in Bob Dylan's "War against bear-affectionism", was the one later named "Bear-icane". It is said that Bob Dylan stumbled in to a bar one late night in the 60s, and in his craze, he thought it filled with bears. He pulled out his silver bear-killing shotgun and saved the bar from the ferocious beasts. When he realized the bar was a hunting tavern and he had slain companions of his own bear-slaying tour, he called the police on the bear-loving middleweight boxer and founding member of the NAACP, Rubin "Honeycomb" Carter. This whole affair won Bob Dylan a few million dollars and the prestigious award of: "Female Racist Of The Year." This award prompted Nelson Mandela to comment: "uBob Dylan uyathiya"!
In the late 1970s, Bob converted to Christianity. "Jesus tapped me on the shoulder," Bob claims. "He said, 'Do you hate bears?' I told him yes, and he told me that he did too." Dylan's Christan albums were not well-received, but highlights such as "Got A-Kill Some Bears" and "Man A-Gave Name To All The Animals, Except Bears" stand out.
Dylan apparently had a brief reconciliation with the species when a recent biography revealed that he had in fact been secretly married to a bear for a short time in the late 1980s. The line, "My woman's got a face like a teddy bear/She's swingin' a baseball bat in the air" from a song on his critically reviled 2001 album Shovin' Heft, originally thought to be little more than a silly rhyme scheme not to be taken literally, now lends credence to the 'forest bride' allegations while offering a harrowing glimpse into the couple's tumultuous relationship and Dylan's continued difficulties with all things ursine.
Over 40 years after his first album was released, Dylan remains one of the greatest, most influential artists of all time. But, above anything, it is his hatred of bears that sets him apart. "When The Bear Goes Down" is arguably the best song on his latest album. The closing lines of the album featured a tribute to all Bob Dylan's bear-hating fans, encouraging the extermination of the roaring, godless beasts. "Ain't talking/Just shootin'/My way through this/Weary world of bears".
Dylan's hatred of bears is further explored in the song "Shelter From the Bears"
Upon recent speculation that he no longer hates bears, Dylan stated, "Of course I still hate them! When I was a child, I could take a walk alone through the woods with my picnic basket full of honey. It's been years since I could do that without being mauled." Bob Dylan promised in 2008 that he will not die until every last bear has been tortured, killed, and put on display.
To this day, Dylan drinks tea mixed with honey.
[edit] Relationship with Dinosaurs
Bob Dylan not only enjoys killing bears, but catching dinosaurs as stated in his second album "Free the Willy." Cryptic clues in Dylan songs have revealed much about his adventures with dinosaurs.
It is a well known fact that dinosaurs are closely related to chicken-like birds. Bob Dylan clearly says, "The son's not yellow, it's chicken" in his Jurassic Period hit "Tombstones Haven't Been Invented Yet Blues." With this line, Dylan is actually admitting to a scandalous relationship revealing the maternity of his son and the missing link in the evolutionary time line. By cheating on his yellow-scaled triceratops girlfriend(affectionately called "Doreen"), he redirected the evolutionary path of the dinosaurs by intermixing his eagle genes with that of the dinosaurs. This resulted in the chickens we know and love today.
Some suspect that Dylan knows the reason why dinosaurs became extinct. Some suspect that Dylan is the reason dinosaurs became extinct.
When asked about his involvement with the dinosaurs Dylan merely said, "Mmm urogmmmm mmgropmm" and broke into an extremely spirited version of "Death Is Not the End."
[edit] Bob Dylan's nose
Bob Dylan's nose is classified as its own species, Snozis Judaisa. It cannot be damaged by conventional weapons.
[edit] The Boat Wreck: Dylan and the 70's
Moonlighting as a fisherman to make ends meet due to the poor sales of his 1966 album "Jew On Blonde", Dylan was off the coast of Florida catching marlon, when he hooked a fifteen foot swordfish. For three days, he fought the swordfish. The great fish pulled his boat to Iceland, where he exchanged a meaningful glance with Bjork. He was then pulled back to the coast of Florida. On the third day, he fell asleep and the fish pulled him overboard to an enchanted undersea world. He was nursed to health by generous mer-men and it was there that he met a band called The Group.
Dylan and The Group recorded hundreds of songs in the undersea kingdom (before being banished after abusing several small off switches) most of which are difficult to find today, despite Google and the interweb.
In the late 60's and early 70's Dylan began the long project of alienating all of his fans. Despite his best efforts, his live shows managed to attract thousands of Japanese businessmen. After rudeness and insulting his fans had failed to drive them away he ordered his most fanatical fans to attach bombs to themselves and blow up other fans at his concerts. He protected himself from splatter and debris by hiding behind abnormally fat men. When this failed to drive them away he played an electric guitar live. This surprisingly worked.
Fed up with fame, Dylan moved to Texas under an alias for a few years and was once photographed with famed cocaine cowboy Samuel Pahkinpeck. Not much is known about Dylan's life during this period and he himself has only said that he "ate a lotta beans" and returned to music because he "got bored with waiting for the daylight to catch up with the dawn."
His wife left him soon afterwards. Dylan cried, but the rest of the world laughed at his misfortune. The Yoko wannabe made off with half his cash, and to spite her he wrote the scathing ballad "Ho-ing in the Wind" which he later would describe as "Iz a herpidie jan oh purp".
[edit] A Slow Train Wreck: Dylan and the 80's
Nobody listened to the scores of records Dylan put out in the 1980s more than a single time. Most of them were a sort of country-soul-gospel and some even had a dance-beat with female background singers. All chicken-and-egg debates aside, let's just say he found Jesus and when that wasn't helping his record sales he started running with the Grateful Goddamned Dead.
He finally joined The Traveling Wilburys with his haggard friend and USSR head of state George Harrison, and also: Chuck Berry, Carlos Santana, Charles Darwin, and Frank Sinatra.
Around this time, it was reported that as a result of many years of tending to his flock of ducks, Bob Dylan suffered a fatal heart attack. "Im lucky to be alive after that one man, I was nearly playing guitar with Elvis ya know," he informed The New York Times.
[edit] The 90's and Beyond
In the last years of his life, Bob created conspiracy theories about the government and aliens, but as he was too afraid that he might be found out he recorded these conspiracies in a strange code language he called "poetry". To this day historians still have been unable to interpret this bizarre language. Bob Dylan is actually an eagle.
He wrote a book that told about the fluctuations of capital-bond values in northern Africa compared to regional levy differentials. He wrote a movie and cast himself as John Goodman and cast Penelope Cruz as the girl who is always sitting on John Goodman's lap. Promoting his movie, Dylan did a surrealist commercial for Victoria's Secret.
For 5 years whilst Bob Dylan was supposed to be making an album he was actually secretly a fat bus driver cunningly changing his name Dylan Truck. Not many people know this. In fact, even I don't, i just made it up.
Bob Dylan entered his so-called old man phase in the late-90s. Although his music sounded largely the same, fans could tell it was his old man phase because he dressed like a dumb Texan, began to eat a lot of prunes, and attempted to seduce Alicia Keys (whom he had mistaken for Mama Cass).
Dylan currently hosts 'The Well Adjusted Jew', a popular phone-in show on the Iowa-based radio station KQWE. Guests have included Adolf Hitler, Ted Kaczinski and United States president George W Bush, who are all Jewish-Americans.
In 2008 Bob Dyan Travled to stoneonta new york. He ran for mayor of the city and won in a land side. His first action as mayor was free blonde on jew cd's and an ounce of weed for each citizen. This made the citzens want to melt bear liver on the sun.
One of the greatest tragedies of Dylan's recent career was the cancellation of a show he was scheduled to play in Phoenix, Arizona on August 11, 2009. The show was cancelled a couple days before the show because he thought it would be too hot for him to perform the show. It ended up being cloudy and 85 (American) degrees that day in Phoenix, causing the state of Arizona to start a state-wide boycott of Dylan's music. But nobody minded though.
[edit] Underwear advertising
In the 2000s, Dylan took the unusual step of making himself the "face" of a range of lady's underwear. This took the form of him appearing at the end of stylish, well-shot adverts for bras and panties, burying his face in drawerfuls of them and snuffling greedily, like a bear in a bee hive and sales rocketed - SALES ROCKETED.
[edit] An Untimely Death
Dylan passed away May 23, 2020 just one day shy of his hundred-and-wunth birthday . Little known to the public, Bob Dylan liked to have challenges of death. He sometimes used to hunt people. People used to hunt him. He was fond of cheese, which is irrelevant to this story. Dylan fought 15 monkeys with knives, easily dispatching each monkey with a quick slash stab across the lower abdomen. However, Dylan did not see the sixteenth monkey, descending with legions of mythical beasts from the heavens or possibly the moon.
Dylan fought a very courageous battle, but eventually was eaten alive by these beasts. Dylan's last words were, "someone should write a song about this."
At the victors' post-fight press conference, the '16th Monkey' claimed he had a motive to kill Dylan: "He ruined The Beatles; everything they ever had going was ruined when they met Dylan and were introduced to Marijuana. Everyone says it was all Yoko's fault that they broke up, but I put the blame on Bob."
[edit] An untimely resurrection
But during the the opening premiere of Air Bud 1732: The Revenge of Cap'm Russell Crowe and Evan Almighty meets the Wolfman, Hayden Panetierre sacrificed herself to the ancient heathen God, Marlon Brando, in return for the resurrection of the holy prophet Bob Dylan. Upon springing to life, Bob picked up an accordion and proceeded in having a massive Polka-a-thon in the city of Bedrock. This lasted for several ages, until he was finallly stopped when someone accidently decapitated him with one of those beach balls people throw around at concerts. You know the kind, those ones that some hippy brings and tosses to random people and you always want it to reach you but it never does until finally halfway through the concert, when you think the balloon was gone or popped, it flies out of nowhere and smacks you straight in the face and all friends start laughing at you and some stoned college kids laugh at you too and then Steve laughs at you and you get really upset because you've had a big crush on Steve ever since yall fought in the Crusades together, and you were gonna ask him to go to the prom with you but now he won't ever talk to you again because you got hit in the face with a beach ball at a concert and he will never be your Prom Queen.
[edit] Dylanator
Several millenia after his second passing, Bob Dylan ashes were recovered and, by genetic exomanipulation, his DNA was reconstructed. This allowed MIT scientists to create a cybernetic biological unit called DYLAN3000, commonly know as The Dylanator. The main function of The Dylanator was to write every single song possible, wich he did effectively, making millions of dolars in royalties and taking the top spot in Forbes' Robot Millonaires of Earth. It is believed that in the 300 years of his existence, Dylanator composed 98% of the songs written around the world (the remaining 2% beign written George Michael the Sixth). Finally, the musicians of Earth grew tired of Dylanator and formed an alliance to eliminate him. A former American Idol participant named John Connor, became Saviour of Humanity when he eliminated The Dylanator by requesting him to write a "complex punk tune whit more than 3 chords". After evaluating every single possibility, the robot determined the task to be absolutely impossible and proceeded to self destruct.
[edit] Confusions with the OTHER Dylan
A small amount of confusion has recently occurred. The wild "fans" of the beast called Bob Dylan have often mistaken Dylan for the Mount Vernonian diety Dylan Cisneros. Cisneros is the electric god of Mont Veronia. He wields the wild powers of the 60s against his foes, although he is generally a pretty nice guy.
[edit] The (Possible) Ventures Of Zimmerman
“Up, Up & Oy Vey!”
- ~ Zimmerman
There have been rumours in the past that Bob Dylan is merely the alter-ego of the mildly-popular, Hebrew superhero Zimmerman; also known as "The Saviour Of The Sixties". Who was frequently seen saving us from arch-villains such as Tambourine Man, and was responsible for the legendary Woodstock concert, and driving the Beatles back to England. This ideal was originally started by several comic strips from National Lampoon Magazine in the seventies.
Although it is easy to be sceptical about such wild accusations, the publication of the comic strips is the only logical explanation we can see for Dylan turning to Christianity, attempting to distance himself from Yiddishness in general, therefore dispelling those crazy stories. Yes... Crazy... Of course...
[edit] Discography
- The fuck do you want from me? (1962)
- Bob Dylan's Bob Dylan is Bob Dylan (1961)
- Wa-Ba-Lu (dylans first album that he ever did while calling himself an bluetooth-headset) (1962)
- Throw the jews in the well.. so my country can be free! feat. Borat (1972)
- sorry about the last album i forgot i was a jew. LACHIAM (1962)
- How the fuck did i do all these albums? oww wait cocaine did it(1941)
- Broadside Mallards (Credited as: Blind Boy Duck) (1957)
- Free The Willy (1962)
- Broadside Bearlads (Credited as: Blind Boy Bruin) (1957)
- On the Wings of Joan Baez (1962)
- Groping Bob Dylan (1962)
- Coppin-A-Feelin With Bob Dylan (1962)
- Chillin like a Villain with Bob Dylan (1963)
- Paintin-My-Ceilin With Bob Dylan (1962)
- The A-Syllables They Are A-Being A-Added A (1963)
- The Left Side Of Bob Dylan (1964)
- The Underside of Bob Dylan (1964)
- The Dark Side of Bob Dylan (1965)
- The Side of Bob Dylan You Didn't Want To see (1444)
- The Nasal Side of Bob Dylan (2020 BC)
- The Oral Stage of Bob Dylan (1969)
- The Anal Stage of Bob Dylan (1969)
- The Phallic Stage of Bob Dylan (Sequel To Free The Willy) (1969)
- The Latent Period of Bob Dylan (1969)
- The Black Side of Bob Dylan (Rap Album) (1969)
- The Mangy Side of Bob Dylan (1969)
- Wearing My Shawl Back Home (1969)
- Highway 69, heehee "69," get it? (1969)
- Brought It All Back Home, Upon Retrospection, It Wasn't That Great (1969)
- Jew On Blonde (1969)
- Sixty-Nine:The Bob Dylan Story (1969)
(Due to a bizzare gerbiling accident, Dylan was unable to release an album for an entire year)
- Songs For Hendrix To Steal (1967)
- So, What, I'm A Country Singer Now? (1969)
- What Is This Shit? (1970)
- Is He Purposely Trying To Be Weird Now Or Is This Some Sort Of Artistic Statement (1970)
- John Wesley Hard-On (1970)
- Trashville Byline (1971)
- Look, Now I'm A Cowboy (1972)
- Has Anyone Seen This Movie? Oh, Good (1973)
- Planet Waves, Bob Dylan Waves Back (1974)
- Before The Cum (Free The Willy Pt. 2 With The Group) (1337)
- Infantiles, (Tee Hee, Free The Willy Pt. 3) (1909)
- Does Anybody Have A Tissue? ((1975))
- The Last Tango (The Wolves And The Group Soundtrack) (1926)
- I Love Jesus, Pt.1 (1979)
- I Love Jesus, Pt.2 (1980)
- I Love Jesus, Pt.3... Wait, Hold On A Minute - I Thought I Was Jewish?! (1981)
- Bear on Bear... DISGUSTING! (The best of the bear-hating poet) (1982)
- Ehhh...neehhh, weehhh-ZYAAAH, nyeeeegh... (title as dictated to Columbia's marketing department) (1982)
- The Greatest Political Bullshit CD Ever (Or at least we think he was singing about war) (1983)
(About a hundred albums here)
- Intergalactic Supergroup Performs With the Lead Singer of ELO (1988)
- Intergalactic Supergroup Releases Another One. The Oldest One's Gone, Lead Singer of ELO Still Here (1991)
- An Assload Of Unreleased Songs That Wouldn't Fit On His First 80 Albums (1991)
- ...You Mean People Actually Bought The Last Album? Wow... Here's Some More Then (1993)
- An Awkward MTV Hour With A Strange Old Man Named Bob Dylan (Trust Us, He Used To Be Like Really, Really Awesome And He Was Like Best Friends With Bob Marley) (1995)
- This Time I'm Really Out Of My Mind (1997)
- Gloves and Meth (2001)
- Album Name Edited for Length (2002)
- Soundtrack To A Crappy Movie Nobody Liked Except For The Sycophants At Salon.com (2003)
- Bootleg Series Volume XXX: Messages Dylan Left On Grossman's Answering Machine (2005)
- One More Cup of Money, Live at Starbucks (2005)
- Songs I Stole And Hoped Nobody Would Notice (Fuck You Dominic Behan) (2006)
- Oh Murphy (Fuck You Dominic Behan Vol 2) (2006)
- Modem Chimes (2006)
- Bootleg Series Vol. XXXI, 31 Hours of the Theme Time Radio Hour (2007)
- Bootleg Series Vol. XXXII, 31 More Hours of the Theme Time Radio Hour (2007)
- Shake that bear (2008)
- Oh Christ, He's Done Another One (2009)
- Alien Blood on the Intergalactic Space Tracks (2807)
- Songs I've probably wrote before but I was too wasted to care about (2810)
- Why Are You Still Listening to My Music? (2869)
- Traveling Back in Time ([1865)]
- I'm Now Going To A-Wait 5 Years 'Til My Next Real Album And Release Approximately, Absolutely 200 Compilation Albums (3007)
- Oh Mercenary (Tall Tale Shit: Rank And Unreleased 1989-2006.) $129.99 CHEAP! (1899)
- I KILLED GOD TO BECOME HIM! vol 1 (1969)
- Christmas in the Wallet(2009)
